Tag Archives: lame post

Webster Is Not Much Help

Posted on November 13, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

Do you suppose that MRI sucked out my brains and that’s why I’ve been so stupid all week?  Yes, yes, I know you’re asking what my excuse was before the MRI.  Must you make such obvious jokes?

Welcome to Non-Sequitur Thursday.

It really is a brain dead feeling.  It doesn’t seem like Writer’s Block, because that implies that there is something behind the block struggling to get out.  It isn’t exactly Writer’s Blank, either, because my brain does have a kind of, well, cluttered feeling to it.  But I can’t think, I can’t write, and it is very distressing.

Having said that, I remind myself that I just now wrote two paragraphs and one sentence worth of words and am embarking on another paragraph.  That does make me feel marginally less distressed.

The sentence that has been sticking in my head this morning is, “One must have a topic.”  It seems that sentence should include the phrase “in order to write,” but I’m not sure whether to put it at the beginning or the end of the sentence.  Any thoughts?

I realize that at times this blog seems dedicated to disproving that sentence.  How many posts about nothing at all have I written?  Anybody opening his mouth to say, “All of them,” can just close it (you know who you are).

This brings us, actually in a kind of a sequential fashion, to my philosophical question for the day.  Then again, half-baked philosophy is the purview of Lame Post Friday, so that makes it a kind of a non-sequitur once again.  Be that as it may, the question is:  Is it inherently better, worse or the same if I compose a post about nothing at the keyboard or if I write it in my notebook while at work (on a break OF COURSE)?  Discuss amongst yourselves.

Bonus question:  When was the last time you saw the word “purview” used correctly in a sentence?

Note to self:  Look up “purview” and see if I used it properly.

 

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Whiny Babies Need Love, Too

Posted on October 31, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

I never feel quite right having a Lame Post Friday when I have to work on Saturday.  As a co-worker sensibly pointed out to me, it is still Friday; they can’t take that away from us.  But I think most Monday through Friday workers can understand how I feel.  People with different schedules are perhaps rolling their eyes and thinking I am a whiny baby.  Well, what if I am?  Whiny babies need love too, you know!

But I must not spend my entire post whining.  How tiresome, even for me.  Anyways, tomorrow is Halloween.  I LOVE Halloween!!!  Steven and I will stand on our front porch to greet the trick or treaters.  After that we shall watch scary movies.  Maybe even something I can write a blog post about (I love writing blog posts about cheesy horror movies).  Work-schmurk!  Tomorrow is going to be a fun day!

Tonight is also not without reward.  I am currently watching my beloved Snapped.  Snapped, for the uninitiated, is a documentary-style show about female murderers.  I do love a true crime documentary. Snapped is not one of your classier shows, like 20/20 or Dateline, but it’s not a re-enactment-fest like Deadly Women or Lethal Kin, although those re-enactment-fests can be kind of fun too.

So I guess this is my lame blog post for the day.  I whine, I anticipate, I watch television.  This is Friday night at my house.  Hope you’ll tune in again on Saturday.

 

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I’m a Wuss, But I Have Rehearsal

Posted on October 29, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

I guess it’s time for this blog to switch over to All Lunch Hour All The Time, because all I can think about is the rehearsal I have to head out to soon.

Lunch Hour, for anyone just tuning in, is the current production of Ilion Little Theatre.  I’m stage manager.  I must admit, I’m not a very good stage manager, but the director is very nice about it.  In fact, speaking of not being a very good stage manager, I just remembered I am supposed to be bringing a couple of props to tonight’s rehearsal.  I wonder if I can find them. After I type in this blog post.

Rehearsals are going very well, incidentally. The actors are doing a good job of developing their characters and building relationships with each other.  I like to watch the reactions at some points.  I’ve only worked with one of these actors before, so it’s good to see new faces.  I hope the new people stick around.  For one reason, I’d like them to audition for the show I’m going to direct in the spring.

This is our last week of “real” rehearsals.  Next week is tech and dress, then we open.  Productions dates are Nov. 6, 7, 8, 13, 14, and 15,  at 8 p.m. on Fridays and Saturdays, 2 p.m. Sundays, at Ilion Little Theatre, Remington Avenue, Ilion, NY.  For more information, you can visit their website, www.ilionlittletheatre.org.  You can also Like their Facebook page, where updates and rehearsal photos are often posted.

Well, I guess I didn’t say much in this post, but at least I didn’t whine about how I can’t write a post and how tired I am.  Oh, well, I guess I did.  Let’s just call it Wuss-Out Wednesday and hit publish.  Hope to see you all on Non-Sequitur Thursday.

 

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Power to Puzzles!

Posted on October 24, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

I bid you welcome.  I say it in a Count Dracula voice, since this is the night before my Halloweddinganniversaweenary Party (did you notice I didn’t say “wait for it”?).   Last night somebody remarked that it was a Halloween party NOT on Halloween, even though the holiday conveniently falls on Saturday this year.  Somebody else said, “It’s Orthodox Halloween.”  Gee, I wish I’d have said that.

That’s all by the way.  I guess I’m veering a little into Non-Sequitur Thursday territory on Lame Post Friday, but I feel sure my readers will forgive me.  The fact is, I once again did not write a post while at work today.  I was working on anacrostic puzzles in a puzzle book I just happened to have with me (why, no, officer, I don’t know HOW that puzzle book got into the bag of stuff I take to work with me) (that’s what I say to the Blog Police who would like to write me a ticket for three foolish posts in a row) (I say, put it on my tab, because it is sure to happen again).

Where was I?  Ah yes, Lame Post Friday. I thought this week I would indulge in a little table-top psychology instead of my usual half-baked philosophy.  The puzzle-book fits right in with today’s psychological observation (to make a break from random observations) (as you see, I am taking NO break from parenthetical comments).

Many years ago, a roommate of mine LOVED to do jigsaw puzzles, and she was very good at them.  One day she wondered why she loved them so much.

“It’s bringing order out of chaos,” I said, as if it were obvious.  She laughed at my table-top psychology.  At least, she did not accuse me of table-top psychology in so many words, but I got the expression from stories about her mother.  Her mother, a wise and witty woman taken from us much too soon, apparently indulged in a great deal of table-top psychology, always using that self-deprecating term to excuse herself.

I thought about this little exchange when I began to wonder why I love to do cryptogram puzzles.  The answer came to me right away:  looking for meaning in gibberish.  That works for anacrostic puzzles too.  I was so pleased with my insight that I posted it on my friend’s Facebook page (as regular readers know, Facebook is an important part of my life; I don’t know why I haven’t created a Facebook page for the blog yet).  She commented that I was right and that jigsaw puzzles were also a form of meditation for her.

I say this is cool.  And I just thought of my title for today’s post.  I am especially pleased that, even though this is a foolish post, I did not whine about not being able to write one.  I hope you are all having a lovely Friday.

 

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How I Have Missed My Turbie Twist

Posted on October 23, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

I thought of that title while I was taking my shower, and I love rhyme almost as much as I love alliteration.  On the other hand, I do not want to make a whole blog post touting an “As Seen On TV” product.  Adding another hand, today is Non-Sequitur Thursday, so why not use the headline?  As the saying goes, waste not, want not.

Once again, the magic of putting fingers on keyboard is soothing me.  I may not be writing good words, but I am writing words.  That makes me feel happy.

I was feeling beyond stressed earlier today.  My sinus — or whatever it is — problems continue to plague me; work is, well, work; I have rehearsal tonight; and I am far from ready for the (wait for it) Halloweddinganniversaweenary Party this weekend.  AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!  Hmm. Primal scream therapy does not have the same effect on the screen.

I know, I know, what a big fat baby.  All I can do is whine and complain.  That may be true, but I prefer to say kvetch and gripe.  Gripe, especially, seems to have a tough, gritty aspect.  Ah, how I love words.

So you see that I continue to struggle with the “real” post problem.  After having such a good week last week. Well, at least I had one good week in October.  It isn’t time yet for the blog to become All Lunch Hour All The Time (that’s the play which is the rehearsal I have to go to) (it’s at Ilion Little Theatre; I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before).

Oh dear, two posts in a row where all I do is whine (complain, kvetch, gripe, whatever).  I hope I can come up with something amusing for Lame Post Friday.  As always, I hope you’ll stay tuned.

 

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Lame Running Commentary

Posted on October 17, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

Oh, swell.  I’ve got the dreaded type it in then backspace it out.  How many posts have I started with that observation?  I am far too lazy to go back and check.  But I was not too lazy to go running, so I will attempt to write a paragraph or two about that.

To begin with I was not going to run.  Did I mention I’m feeling lazy?  One problem was I had a headache for most of the day.  It was not a migraine, so I had that going for me.   The headache eased off by the time I got home, but I had just about talked myself out of running for the day.  What to do instead?  Take a shower?  Clean the house?  Fool around on Facebook?  I decided to call my parents.  They told me to go running.  So I did.

I could not move very fast.  In my defense, I worked a ten hour day today, which I have not done in a while.  Oh well, I guess I did do two last week.  But other than that, it’s been nine-hour days.  On the brighter side, I did not have to worry about going to rehearsal tonight.  So you see, the glass usually is half full.

Then I felt a twinge.  It felt as if I had pulled a muscle in the top of my foot.  For heavens’ sake, who pulls a muscle in the top of their foot?  How ridiculous!  I kept running, ignoring it as best as I could.  I tried to run smoothly, so as not to be pounding my great weight onto my foot.

I may have mentioned that I developed my smooth stride in the army.  An army friend told me I looked like I was speed walking when I ran.  She had knee problems so tried to imitate my run.  She said, “I tell myself,  ‘Do the Quackenbush!  Do the Quackenbush!'”  So today I thought to myself, “Do the Quackenbush!”

After a while my foot felt better.  Then I got a stitch in my side.  This is what it is like to be me.

No matter.  I kept running.  At least I could enjoy looking at the fall colors and admiring people’s Halloween decorations.  The temperature was very good for running: cool enough that I wasn’t sweaty, not so cold my hands got stiff (remember: glass half full).   I’ve had worse runs.

I ran for as long as I ran last time (Wednesday), which was 22 minutes.  I only walked a six-minute cool-down, because the ice cream truck seemed to be stalking me.  I hate that ice cream truck.

I was glad that I ran.  I’m even more glad that now I’ve made my blog post.  Did you find it a little lame?  May I remind you that this is Lame Post Friday?   I hope to see you again as the weekend progresses.

 

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The Most Boring Post Yet?

Posted on October 11, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

Yesterday when I ended with the threat that I was going to publish The Most Boring Post Yet for comparison purposes with yesterday’s nonsense, I bet a lot you thought I was just kidding.  Well, maybe I was, and yet, here we are.  I worked this morning then had a lovely afternoon of adventuring.  I just don’t darn well feel like composing a blog post right now.  So, pretend it is still Friday and read:

Is it time for another Lame Post Friday already? Oh dear. I am having the worst case of Writer’s Blank I have had in a long time. At least, I seem to remember writing that I had one recently. Was it a Tired Tuesday or a Wuss-out Wednesday? I can’t possibly go back to previous posts and check.

I could write a cooking post. I have some bean soup on the stove which is tasting pretty good. My problem is I am a little bored with my cooking methods. I seem to always start with chopping up an onion and putting it in some oil to cook, then crushing up some cloves of garlic and letting them breathe (or whatever it is they do) for fifteen minutes (and I usually use the line “breathe (or whatever it is they do)”). One night last week, I asked Steven to cook because I just couldn’t face chopping that onion and putting it in oil to cook.

And now I feel silly for railing against it, because onions cooked down in oil is a very good start to many recipes. Still, how many times can I write about it? I need a new technique.

My overarching problem today is that I am in kind of a down mood. That is a rather distressing state of affairs on a Friday, for a Monday through Friday worker such as myself. I think it is reasonable to expect a lightening of mood when I do not have to be at work tomorrow. Not that my job is so burdensome, but I’m sure you know what I mean.

This is the worst post I have written yet. I can’t publish this. I will save it as a draft and try something else.

Back to the present time:  now that I read this again, it is not so stinking bad, is it? I wonder what else was in that bean soup.  I’d like to make it again.

 

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And Then Another Lame

Posted on September 26, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

OK, so it really is a Friday for me when I did not completely expect one.  I thought I was working Saturday until about 2:47 this afternoon.  OK,  I don’t know exactly what time it was; I just thought it would be funny to say it was a specific time that did not involve fives or zeros.

So I got home all happy and had a glass of wine.  My nice husband and I had amorphous plans.  We thought to go to K Mart and look at a ghost we might like to purchase.  I thought I would cook quesadillas.  We were not clear on order of events or times.  Then Steven (really, the perfect husband) said, “Or we could go out to eat.”

Obviously that is what we did.  At my suggestion we went to the Copper Moose Alehouse in Little Falls.  We sat at the bar and had some more Pinot Grigio (not enough that Steven could not drive home) and ordered food.  I had shrimp tacos.  Steven had a hamburger involving a fried egg and other toppings.  We chatted up the bartender and others.

In all, it was a delightful evening and one well worth a blog post. Can I always write a blog post at the end of a delightful evening? Regular readers know, the answer to that question is NO!!!

On the other hand, it is Lame Post Friday.  This is me, being lame for the day. I shall now go back to enjoying my Friday, as indeed, I hope the rest of you are doing.

But until I get to writing a real post about Copper Moose Alehouse, you can check them out yourself.  They are located at 518 E. Main St., Little Falls, NY , open Tuesday through Thursday 4 to 10 p.m., Friday and Saturday 4 to 11 p.m.  You can Like them on Facebook.  Let me know what you think.

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An Infinite Number of Blog Posts

Posted on September 23, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

I cannot continue to publish post after post about how busy and tired I am.  Or can I?

The fact is, I find that I can always write SOMETHING.  My time spent gazing at a blank page does not last very long.  Of course, I don’t always write what I wanted to write. I can’t say what percentage of the time I write something good (although my inner critic will offer an opinion).  But words on paper, I can usually provide.

I think this is a good thing.  If nothing else, I’m helping keep the pen and paper people in business.  Additionally, I have always said: writing begets more writing.  If I keep writing nonsense, I increase the chances that I sooner or later churn out something worthwhile.   Or is that the infinite number of monkeys theory?

Let’s talk about that theory.  Of course I often spoil sayings by taking them too literally.  It’s kind of a hobby of mine.

The saying goes — and I’m not sure what the point is — that if you have an infinite number of monkeys bouncing around on an infinite number of typewriters, you will eventually get all of Shakespeare (it’s kind of an old saying; who uses a typewriter any more?).

Excuse me, what?  Leaving aside the infinite aspect of the situation (which makes it one of those impossible hypotheticals which I loathe), how exactly does this work?  Will the plays magically appear amidst the gibberish?  Or is it like a seek-a-word puzzle, you cross out all extraneous letters?  That might be fun.  Let’s try it.  Here I go, randomly hitting keys…

lkwhnfndbnb  b nmae,juisnb  oakn mblm jbiam  ,elmjhbun cvnvefn  g  kvjuiH.

I think it would take a damn long time to get “To be or not to be” out of that.  Do we also have an infinite amount of time in the saying?

As I said a few paragraphs ago, I’m not sure what the point is.  Perhaps some didactic type could explain it to me.  In the meantime, I’m up to over 300 words of this nonsense.  I’m going to call it a post.  Happy Tuesday, folks.

 

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Post then Play

Posted on September 19, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

Oh SWELL!  I’ve got the dreaded Type It In And Backspace It Out disease!

I grit my teeth and somehow keep from erasing that sentence.  Oh this is bad!  On the brighter side, it is Lame Post Friday.  I think we’re all expecting something foolish, so here it is.

I just sat here looking at the blank space and wondering what to put next.  So far, I got nuthin’.  In my defense, I have a play to do tonight.  I have to fix my hair, brush my teeth, get my stuff together, put the right clothes on… I already looked over my lines twice today.  Perhaps a third time would be better…

For anyone just tuning in, the play is Roxy, presented by the Herkimer County Historical Society at Ilion Little Theatre.  We opened last weekend.  We close this weekend.  Three more performances!  We sold out last weekend, and we have already sold out for this weekend.  People seem to like us.

However, I have a blog post to make.  A Friday Lame Post.  Traditionally on Lame Post Friday, I indulge in random observations and half-baked philosophy, so here it is:  At work today, I looked out the window and saw the dog that lives in a house across the street.  I said, “There’s that good dog.”  And that is also my philosophical observation for the day, I like to think that all dogs are good.  Discuss amongst yourselves.  I have to go get ready for my play.

 

 

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