Tag Archives: writing

Pre-Rehearsal Wuss

Oh crap, look at the time!  My ride is picking me up for rehearsal in about 25 minutes.  I can’t get my blog post done plus find the props I still need, brush my teeth, put my shoes on, look over my lines again, eat a pickle, finish my iced coffee, look at Facebook again… and remember all the other stuff I thought I could do.  Oh, and pet my dog. He just walked over from his end of the couch, and I think that is what he wants.  One must pet one’s dog, after all.

Luckily, this is Wuss-out Wednesday.

The thing is, I wrote a blog post today.  I had written most of it yesterday with the thought that I would also type it in when I typed in yesterday’s post.  Then today I would only have to hit “Publish,”  so I would have time to run.  However, yesterday I also did a load of laundry and made a salad.  Was that not ambitious of me?  I finished the post while at work today.  Then I amused myself by writing a brief synopsis of a possible sequel to Much Ado About Nothing (you know, the play I’m in).

When I got home today, after I took the dog for a business meeting (it was too short to call it a walk), I went running.  I wanted to write a Running Commentary post, but that is just not going to happen.  Anyways, first I had to eat, drink an iced coffee, and check my email.  Then answer my email, which I had to do twice, because I didn’t do it right the first time, and I still haven’t answered all the emails I am supposed to.

Good grief!  The only good thing is, I now have over 250 words of this nonsense and I  am going to hit Publish.  Maybe I can write another blog post about what else I accomplished from my list in the first paragraph.  Happy Wednesday, everybody.

 

More Second Guessing on Tired Tuesday

This morning I wrote the following in my notebook:

History, cheese and wine, what’s not to like? Writing a blog post about them, apparently.

Then I put parentheses around the second sentence and went onto begin a blog post about the event I was referring to.  Alas, I did not finish it.  However, I liked my acknowledgement of my initial resistance to writing so thought I would tap out a few thoughts about that and call it a Tired Tuesday.

Sometimes the rush of Just Don’t Feel Like It is mere laziness or another bout of our old enemy Fear Of Not Being Good Enough. The operative thing to do is put the pen on the paper and give it a try.  In today’s case, it worked.  If my break had been longer, perhaps I could have finished the post and avoided another post about Why I Can’t Write a Post (I’m using a lot of capitalization in this paragraph; sorry if it bothers anybody).

However, sometimes resistance is trying to tell a writer something.  I hesitated a moment before I wrote the second sentence earlier.  Proponents of free-writing will shake their heads and say, “Tsk-tsk,” but sometimes when I am writing, I think a sentence and do not write it down.  Then I decided to write it down and to ponder the thought.  I wondered if I wasn’t becoming bored because my posts were becoming monotonous.  I wondered if my readers were becoming bored — ghastly thought!  I did not ponder the thought long but kept writing,  to see how it would go.

It actually did not go too bad.  It just isn’t finished.  But is it good enough?  Have I become monotonous?  Are my posts still amusing and readable (dare I say — witty)?  Or am I just second guessing myself as usual?

Ah, I think I’m on to something there!  As I said earlier, it is my old enemy, Fear Of Not Being Good Enough.  But here’s a question: why do I feel that fear so much more on an ordinary post than on a Post About Why I Can’t Write A Post?  I suppose the bar is set lower for today’s kind of post.  Then again, who sets the bar but me?  Well, I can’t start second guessing myself about this post.  For one reason, I have to get ready for rehearsal (remember, All Much Ado All The Time).

 

Much Ado Monday

I’m a little early for All Much Ado All The Time, but yet, here I am.

And I just sat here staring at that sentence with no idea what to put next.  My plan had been to DEFINITELY write my blog post while on break at work, so I would only have to type it in.  Instead I studied my lines.  I hope nobody in the cast reads this, because they may wonder why I still don’t know my lines if I was studying them when I should have been writing.  Oh well, perhaps I know them better than I think I do.  We’ll see.

I mentioned yesterday that I got very little done over the weekend.  Among the chores still hanging over my head in a threatening fashion:  figure out and get together my costume for the Doodah Parade in Ilion on Friday,  find a few more costume pieces for my two characters in Much Ado About Nothing, finish learning my lines, unpaint my toenails, fix my work pants, wash my other work pants, clean my house, finish my container garden, work in my yard…

Why did I start listing those things?  Now I’m having a panic attack!  Not really, but it isn’t making my headache any better either.  And it isn’t making this blog post any more interesting.  Sorry about that.  However, there is not much I can do about it, because I have rehearsal tonight.  I have to look over my lines again.

 

Minor Accomplishments on Wrist to Forehead Sunday

I knew earlier today that this would be a Wrist to Forehead Sunday post.  Why I didn’t just go ahead and write it earlier. .. I was about to say I don’t know but in fact I do.  But it’s not that interesting a reason, so never mind.

This weekend has been almost a complete wash-out for me.  The few things I did:  I worked six hours of overtime, I ran twice, and I had a Mohawk Valley adventure with my husband today.  But I missed seeing a play at Utica Players, directed by an Ilion Little Theatre member and featuring two actors from Leading Ladies (remember, the play I directed this past spring?).  And I did not clean my house (ooh, one load of laundry, does that count for anything?), I did not learn my lines for Much Ado About Nothing (remember, the play I’m in in Little Falls?) (I did think about them while I worked on Saturday, does that count for anything?), I did not write anything except blog posts Friday, Saturday and, if it counts for anything, today.

I was actually pretty pleased with myself that I ran today.  When I got up I really did not want to.  It was raining when I took Spunky for his morning business meeting, but I had to admit it was not raining hard enough to preclude a run.  Then it stopped raining.  I sat down and had a cup of coffee anyways.  Then I decided to run.  So remember that.  Sometimes you don’t have to force yourself to do something.  Sometimes if you sit down and have a cup of coffee, you find you’d kind of like to do the thing anyways.

On the run I ran a major hill I didn’t mean to run.  Suddenly there I was, going up, up, up.  I kept going because I did not want to just turn around and run back down.  I ended up increasing the length of time I ran by the recommended ten percent from last week.  Score!

So I have a few choices here.  I can feel pleased by the stuff I did accomplish, chastise myself over the things I did not accomplish, or call the whole thing a wash and see what Monday brings.  Oh one other choice:  I can see if I can accomplish anything else before bedtime (always early on a Sunday, because, you know, Monday).  If I do that, perhaps I’ll write a blog post about it.  As always, I hope you’ll stay tuned.

 

No New Leaf

So Sunday I declared Monday would be New Leaf Monday, and it turned out to be the same damn leaf after all.  Then I had a Tired Tuesday but hoped for better.  Then today I had a migraine which at times reached nightmare proportions (but only at times, so I’ve got that going for me).  Is it a Wuss-out Wednesday?  I think instead I’ll call it a Blogger’s Sick Day.  Fellow migraine sufferers will understand.

I won’t give an hour by hour recap of my day’s suffering (although I enjoy doing that on occasion). I will share one frustration.  I finished an article for Mohawk Valley Living magazine yesterday, but I had two attractions to write about.  I managed to begin my second article while at word today.  I looked up a couple of things online just now, but I don’t think I can finish it.  This is what I get for waiting for deadline week to write these things.  What is my problem?  I guess I need to try for another New Leaf Monday.

So there I was, logged on to WordPress, wanting to make my blog post but feeling quite brain dead, and doing what I usually do in that case which is read other people’s blogs.  I came across a post titled “Writing A Post Before The End Of The Day” at hachland.com, a pretty fun blog and I don’t just say it because it is written by a cousin of mine.  I thought, “Perfect!  This is just where I’m at.”

Hmmm…. Kind of an interesting post.  But I thought I’d better stop procrastinating and write my own.  So I did.  Such as it is.

Maybe I could go for New Leaf Thursday instead.

 

Blame it on the Boilermaker

Yesterday I sat down to write a post about Why I Can’t Write a Post Today and then came up with a serviceable Running Commentary.  Today I don’t think that’s going to work out.  I don’t think my brain is in particularly serviceable shape today.  That is OK, though, because it is Wrist to Forehead Sunday.

In Utica, NY, it is also Boilermaker Sunday.  I ran in the Boilermaker 15K last year.  I vowed I would never run it again, but I don’t think anybody believed me.  Sure enough, what I feared would happen came to pass.  As I saw and heard all the hoopla surrounding the race as it approached, I felt sorry I was not part of it.  Today when Facebook friends posted pictures and statuses about it, I commented on them that I would run it next year.  Will I follow through?  Quite possibly I will.

Steven, Spunky and I have been having a pleasant lazy Sunday.  It has been raining on and off, but I managed a pretty good run this morning and we have taken a couple of short walks.  The main event of the day has been movies, although I fear we spent almost as much time discussing what we wanted to watch as we have spent watching them.  I also made quite a tasty dinner.

And yet it really is a Wrist to Forehead Sunday.  I’m glad I ran this morning, or else I fear I would be swooning on the sofa or reaching for my smelling salts (I actually don’t have any smelling salts, do you suppose regular salt would work?).  Is it really angst that I did not participate in the country’s premiere 15K?  Or is it sorrow that the only thing I can write is how I can’t write today?  Or is it a mere desire to be dramatic?  Hmm… I bet that’s it.  Hope to see you all on Middle-aged Musings Monday.

 

It’s No Puzzle Why I’m Lame

That is a lame headline even for Lame Post Friday.  If I come up with something better before I hit publish, I’ll fix it and change the lead.  Oh, editing.  If only I did more of it.  I’ve talked about edited and polished vs. pure inspiration.  Alas, I have no inspiration today.  But, as you see, I am writing anyways, so those of you who were gearing up for the superior lecture on how One Must Not Await Inspiration, stand down.

Isn’t that a lovely expression?  “Stand down.”  More military than “Sit down.”  More dignified than “Shut up.”  I think I will use it more often.

Astute readers have guessed by now that I spent my breaks at work doing cryptogram  or crossword puzzles rather than writing a blog post.  I also looked at the list I wrote on Tuesday of things to accomplish this week.  I reflected that I have many things to do between today and tomorrow. Then I went back to the puzzle at hand.  I am quite addicted to cryptogram puzzles.

Waaaait a minute.  I  wrote that list on Tuesday.  Doesn’t that mean that I have till Tuesday of next week to complete the items on the list?  I think it does.

In the meantime,  it’s Friday.  I have lines to learn for the play I’m in.  I have work to do on the play I’m writing. I have dirty laundry and a messy house.  I have a dog to walk and a husband to visit with (once he gets home from work).  Full disclosure:  I also have true crime shows to watch on cable television.  I’m only human after all.  Happy Friday, everyone.

 

Back to Work, But Not on the Blog

So I went back to work today.  I did not bring a puzzle book or anything to read.  I brought a notebook and pen, because I was going to write.  I would not be forced to have a Tired Tuesday or Bad Attituesday.  I was going to write a real post!

First I wrote a to-do list for the week. I was having one of those days when I thought that getting my act together was an actual possibility.  I suppose it is really under the heading Keep Dreaming.  Then again, if we don’t go for these things, we’ll never know how much we can accomplish.  I’ll keep you posted on how I do with it.

After finishing the list, I turned a page or two back and wrote two more lines on the Banana Play.  I had thought I might finish that play on my week off (see above paragraph about having my act together and Keep Dreaming).   I have also been thinking, “Oh, nobody really expects me to finish that damn play.  It isn’t very good anyways.  I should start a new novel instead and finish that instead.”  Yet I managed to write a little.

Still not feeling up to a blog post, I found a blank page and began a letter to someone I have not written to in a while.  I thought this was a good thing to do because, for one reason, it is good to send somebody a letter.  For another reason, I told her about some of the Mohawk Valley adventures I’ve had recently.  I thought I might get inspired to write a blog post or two.  Unfortunately, my break was not that long.

Back at work, I was thinking in a vague sort of way about my Banana Play when I had some GREAT ideas about what could come next.  Almost a whole new direction for the plot and a couple of the characters.  This was cool.  I couldn’t wait to get back to my notebook!

Bottom line is, I do not feel too bad about not writing a blog post earlier today.  One might think I could just write one now, but it seems beyond me.  I don’t know why that is.  Some days I sit at the keyboard and compose a perfectly acceptable post about an area event, attraction or business.  Some days not so much.  What, I ask, are you going to do?  Well, I hope you are going to still read my blog tomorrow.  What I’m going to do is publish this post and see if I can’t write a few more lines on the Banana Play.

 

Zen and the Art of Lame Post Friday

Friday just is.

And explanation of that first sentence.   I was about to write a complete sentence then thought, “Oh hell, I’ll just make my blog post later.”  I didn’t realize WordPress had saved it till I logged back in and saw I had an untitled draft.  Naturally I clicked Edit.  At first it looked as if WordPress had saved a blank screen, and I said, “How appropriate.”   Then the above sentence fragment appeared, and I kind of liked it.

The second paragraph was composed on our tablet, you know, one letter at a time with the stylus, till the word I want appears above the keyboard.

Now I’m back on the laptop.  Aaahhhh…  I still don’t have anything to say, but it sure is a lot quicker to ramble on. The first sentence was going to be a reflection that Friday is different when it is the end of a vacation week.  Then I thought, well, duh. I have spent most of today reminding myself that this is still a three day weekend for me.  If I had worked all week and was at the beginning of a three day weekend, I’d be pretty damn happy, wouldn’t I?  Well, then.

So  I am reasonably content with my lot in life tonight.  Three more days till I return to the beastly grind, which, as I may have said, is not particularly beastly nor even grind-like.  I am actually feeling kind of zen about it.  I guess somebody who knows a lot about zen would tell me I am misusing the expression quite disgracefully. I did read a book about zen once:  Zen and the Art of Archery, I think it was, no idea who wrote it.  My cello teacher recommended it to me. She was kind of a weirdo, although I remember being quite impressed with her when I was a high school student.

What I mean by “feeling kind of zen” is, the first sentence sounds oddly appropriate to me.  Then again, perhaps the blank screen would have been better.  Discuss amongst yourselves.  I must get back to enjoying my three day weekend.

 

Who, Me, Multi-Task?

It is a well-known fact that I do not have my act together.  I don’t even pretend to have my act together.  Anybody who thinks I have now or have ever at any point in my life had my act together is deluded.  Anybody with half a brain who is paying the slightest bit of attention knows: I’m a mess.

This is not to say I have no hopes of ever getting my act together.  On the contrary, I keep thinking I might.  Some days I would settle for having the various parts of my act on the same continent — oh, hell, the same planet!  Where was I going with this?

I suppose it is an introduction to another Wuss-out Wednesday post.

I did some writing earlier today, while on breaks at work.  It was on the banana play.  I got a marvelous inspiration for the plot, but I dare not say a word about it.  If you talk too much about these things you lose all impetus to write them, although sometimes the urge to talk about them is overwhelming.  For one reason, I feel so clever and pleased with myself, I almost admire my ideas as a thing entirely separate from myself and my not inconsiderable ego (when it comes to writing anyways).  I generously desire to give others the opportunity to admire (yes, quite a large ego when it comes to writing).

OK, I’ll admit it, the other reason to refrain from telling people my brilliant ideas is the quite reasonable fear that other people will not find them, or by extension me, as brilliant.

Getting back to my day, I made not one, not two but THREE stops on my way home from work.  I picked up two pairs of shoes that had been repaired at Melfe’s in Ilion, also dropping off another pair for the same repair.  I had waited far too long since Melfe’s called to tell me the repairs were done, but the people at Melfe’s were very nice about it.  I also stopped at a big-box store to purchase some yarn and a couple of other items.  My third stop was by Curves, not to exercise but to drop off an afghan I am donating to a friend who has a team walking in the Sitrin’s Stars and Strips Run/Walk.  She intends to raffle it for fundraising purposes.

As I reached home I felt I did not want to — was not capable of — accomplishing all that I had wanted to.  I was impressed enough with myself that I had made my stops. Surely I could sit down for a while.  Long story short (I know, too late), I didn’t.  I walked our dog, Spunky (I was always going to do THAT, however tired and stupid I felt).  Then I changed into workout clothes and put a load of laundry into the washer.  While the washer ran, I ran in place on the mini-tramp.  Spunky stared at me for a while, apparently waiting to see if there was any point in my gyrations.  When he couldn’t figure it out, he went and laid down on the couch.

After a short run (so boring, even with the television on!), I put the laundry into the dryer, bringing the non-drierables upstairs to hang on the bars.  Then I took my shower, put on comfy clothes and went down to the kitchen to fix dinner.  It took a while to get stuff chopped and into the pot, but soon it was simmering and I could get on the computer to check my email and Facebook notifications.

The point of this long, dull post (I hope not too dull) is, I guess, that even though I did not write a good blog post during the course of the day, I got a few things done.  I thought of that headline earlier, before I got around to composing this post.  I’m not sure it really fits, but it will have to do.  We’ll consider it a little Non-Sequitur Thursday creeping in early.  I’m sure ready to move on to the end of the week.