Category Archives: humor

When in Doubt, Eat Ice Cream

Posted on June 21, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

Once again I did not write a blog post while on breaks at work.  I spent my working hours thinking about my banana play and coming up with no ideas.  If I had picked up a pen to write, I’m sure all that would have come out was what a writing crisis I was having.  I worked on cryptogram puzzles instead.  On the brighter side, I solved one that had mystified me on several previous attempts.

I made a stop on the way home, but it was at a chain drugstore.  There is nothing wrong with picking up needed items at such a store, I suppose, but it hardly offers the Mohawk Valley cachet I seek for a blog post.  It has been a dreadfully hot day (I recently read somewhere that you should say “sweltering” instead of “very hot,” but I can’t say the day felt sweltering. At least I did not use “very” for once) and I was coated with sweat by the time I got home.  Still, I got right outside with my little dog, Spunky.  We did not take a walk, though.  It was more of a brief business meeting.  There was not a chance I was going for a run.  So a Pedestrian Post or a Running Commentary was not going to happen.

Getting on the computer, I stared at a blank screen for a while.  Nothing happened.  I went into Drafts and looked at a couple I never finished but thought I might some day.  Today is not the day.  I added a couple of sentences to one.  I am not displeased with either, but, well, they need work.  I pondered my future as a blogger.

Then my husband Steven said that after the show we were watching was over (a re-run of Snapped, incidentally), he was getting a bowl of ice cream, would I like one?  It is not a good way to meet my weight-loss goals, but as a boost to my spirits, it seemed the way to go.  I said yes.  That at least gave me a title.  While I waited for the episode of Snapped to end and Steven to get our ice cream, I typed in the first paragraph and a half of this post.  After savoring the Death By Chocolate (if they meant it literally, I would have died happy), I  wrote the rest.

We’ll call this a Monday Mental Meanderings, and perhaps tomorrow I will explain exactly how I think I am ever going to meet those weight-loss goals.

 

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A Pleasant Sunday Run

Posted on June 20, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

However much you may enjoy doing something, well, sometimes it’s just easier not to.  Add to the mix that the thing you enjoy is good for you and suddenly there are MANY reasons not to do it!  And I am beginning to see that all reasons against doing something, however compelling they may seem at the time, ultimately boil down to, it was easier not to.  All this by way of saying, I haven’t run since last Saturday (when I wrote a blog post about it).  I may sometime write a whole post about why we don’t do things that are good for us and that we enjoy, and perhaps an analysis of “it was easier not to” vs. “it seemed like a good idea at the time,” but for today, I will content myself with a run of the mill (see what I did there?) Running Commentary.

I was running with a bottle of water in my hand, because I had a couple of glasses of wine last night and wanted to be sure I stayed hydrated.  I must say I enjoy having a sip of water during a run.  My original plan had been to run away from Lou Ambers Drive and Herkimer College (previously known in this space as HCCC), because on my last run I had gone up that impressive hill.  However, I knew I would want to refill my bottle at the spring.  Oh, just run up the hill again, I told myself.

In general I don’t like to mention that I thought about doing something bad-ass when I ultimately decide not to do it.  Today, though, I err on the side of truth:  I thought about running up that hill but decided not to.  When I got to Brookfield Park (previously known in this space as The Unknown Park), I went into it, up a nice little hill.  We like little hills.  Why kill myself after taking a week and a day off, I reasoned.  This would be a pleasant run and still get me to the spring (Get Me to the Spring On Time, isn’t that a song?).

As I got into the park, I saw another runner up on a big hill on the other side of the athletic field.  I’ve run up there once before; it’s steep.  I’ll do it again, but not today.  The other runner was wearing a shirt the same color as mine, safety green, but he was not close enough for me to remark that we were twins.  A dog was with him and came a little towards me, looking interested.  I do like to pet a dog but it seemed we were not going to cross paths.  The other runner yelled to his dog to come.  I looked away and kept running, so as not to entice the animal.  Sometimes you just don’t get to pet a dog.

I ran on into the park, over the little bridge to the picnic area and down the path into the woods.  It is a very pleasant run, with the brook babbling on one side and a hill with trees rising up on the other.  When I was younger, I would have wanted to climb up to the ridge.  I’d still like to do that sometime, but today I was running.  Soon the ground sloped up again and I was coming out onto the back road to the college.

By judicious sipping, I made my water last till a block or so before the spring.  How I love real spring water.  I pretty much ran directly home from there, going past the house twice to make my run last 35 minutes, the same amount of time as my last run.  For the first time since last June, a nice little dog walked my cool-down with me.  My legs felt pretty terrific.  I realize I can’t go all week without running, but there is no point in worrying about what is past.  All I can do is try to do better next week.  Maybe I can write better blog posts as well.

 

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Slacker to Shout-Out

Posted on June 19, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

After a rather horrible blogging week (culminating in a Lame Friday Post that got zero Likes!), I find I must have a Slacker Saturday.  Or maybe it’s a blogger’s sick day.  At any rate, I intend to just type in some nonsense, hit Publish and get on with my evening.

First some complaining:  my head is spinning.  I had a headache every day this week.  When I woke up with the beginning of one this morning, I foolishly took some migraine medication.  Oh well, sometimes dizziness is better than pain.  It hasn’t been totally bad all day.  I got a few chores done: three loads of laundry, a (very) little cleaning and a trip to the store.  Oh, shout-out to a local business!  The post won’t be a total loss.

I went to T & J’s Fruits and Vegetables in Herkimer, NY (where I live).  I had taken some sausage out of the freezer for dinner and wanted a green pepper to go with it.  There were red peppers there too, but I decided on one green one for tonight.  I picked the one I liked best.  Then I saw some eggplants that looked nice.  Eggplant, pepper and sausage.  What could be better?

When I put them on the counter I saw some homegrown strawberries.  Yum!  The lady at the register recommended some cherries that were there as well.  I put my stuff down and said I just wanted to make sure there wasn’t something else there I’d like.  I was glad I did, because I had almost forgotten we’re out of yellow onions.  Sausage and pepper without onion?  Say it ain’t so!  I got some of the strawberries but declined the cherries.

Driving home I remembered garlic. Damn!  I had pulled the last bulb off the braid I had gotten at the Mohawk Valley Garden and Herb Festival in Little Falls last September (come to think of it, that braid lasted a LONG time.  I must not be cooking enough).  When I got home I checked and there are still a few cloves left.  Phew!

I feel certain my dizzy head will allow me to cook dinner without major mishap.  Perhaps I could write a post about it tomorrow on Wrist to Forehead Sunday.

 

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Faux Finish Friday

Posted on June 18, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

This week it seems I have indulged in all my give-myself-a-break posts.  And regular readers know I almost never miss Lame Post Friday.  Additionally, I see that since Monday I have mentioned the appropriate weekday in the headline.  Can I continue the trend (I am writing the post before the headline)?  We shall see.

I spent a good deal of my time at work today wondering why I was not in a happier mood.  After all, Friday.  And I don’t have to work Saturday.  What’s not to like?  I was going home to a cute little dog, and my nice husband would be home a mere hour after me. When I got tired of wondering about that (it didn’t take long), I alternately tried to think of something silly to write about for my blog post and potential endings for my banana play.  I MUST finish that play soon!

I did not reach a satisfying destination on either of my trains of thought.  WHY are all the terrible events happening in my play?  Stephen King thinks it is scarier if you DON’T KNOW.  I see what he means, but I think it is sloppy writing.  A writer can withhold the explanation, I suppose, but personally I feel dissatisfied when I get to the end of a story and there is no reason for anything.  Oh, don’t prate to me about how “in real life we don’t know why everything happens,”  we’re talking about fiction!  But it’s neither here nor there; I don’t rule out leaving things a mystery, the more so because I don’t know why they are happening myself.

Oh dear, now you all know I am something of a sloppy writer myself (cue unkind remarks about how you knew it all along).

Speaking of sloppy writing, I am over 250 words.  I call that a respectable post. Now if only I can think of a headline that includes the word “Friday”…

 

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Nice Stroll on Non-Sequitur Thursday

Posted on June 17, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

How about a nice Pedestrian Post?  One thing I really looked forward to when we decided to adopt Spunky was walking a dog.  I LOVE to walk a dog.

Unfortunately, so far our walks have not been that exciting.  One reason is that they are short walks.  Spunky is just a little guy.  I guess those short legs get tired in a hurry.  Oh, I should perhaps mention, I have been calling him a Shih Tzu, but when Steven looked over the paperwork from the veterinarian, it said Spunky is a Pekapoo.  I think I have said that I don’t really know from breeds.

Be that as it may, I got home from work and Spunky was clearly ready to go out.  I have to understand that; I can’t hold my pee nearly as long as dogs do.  I grabbed my crazy old lady hat (sunny day), Spunky’s leash, a poop bag and my house key (must be secure), and we set out.

At the beginning of a walk, Spunky trots along eagerly.  We would make good time if he didn’t want to stop and sniff so often.  Then again, that is what dogs do  (heehee, I said “dog do”).   We made it to the corner, turned right, and started down Church Street.  Two dachshunds were in the yard at the next corner.  The bigger one ran over as we approached.  The man watching them said he just wanted to play.  He and Spunky sniffed each other (um, the dog, not that man).  After a while, his person ordered him into the house.  He went reluctantly.

The other dachshund, a smaller, long-haired dog, kept his distance.  We had to approach him as we continued our walk.  First he seemed inclined to give us a wide berth, then he started barking vigorously. The man told him to stop and go in the house.  The first dog came running over to join the fun.  I pulled Spunky along and we were soon beyond inciting the other pooches.

This was about the time Spunky slowed down.  I wonder if I should get one of those doggy strollers, so that when he gets tired he can ride for a while.  For now I’m just walking a little slower and encouraging my dog to keep going till we get home.  Today I was just as happy to have a short walk.  It was getting quite warm for me out in the bright sun.  Additionally, even though I had my wide-brimmed hat, I had neglected to wear my prescription sunglasses.  But our walk wasn’t about me.  It was about our nice poocher.

Incidentally, the reason my blog post today is a mere Pedestrian Post written on the fly is that today on breaks at work, I wrote more on my banana play.  I can’t feel too proud of myself about that, because it isn’t going very well.  I’ll have a few good lines, a dramatic situation, some believable character interaction… but is it going anywhere?  It is not the sort of play that can go nowhere (Bananas for Godot?).

But, as I often say, no matter.  It is Non-Sequitur Thursday, and this is my post. If I can only think of a punchy headline, all is not lost.  If my headline is, well, more paunchy, yet it will have to do.  You can let me know what you think of it, if you are so inclined.  In the meantime, I hope to see you on Lame Post Friday.

 

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Melrose Market on Wuss-out Wednesday

Posted on June 16, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

I was supposed to buy milk after work today.  The plan was to go to a convenience store that has a Milk Club; you buy 10 half-gallons and get one free or some such nonsense.  Naturally I left the Milk Club card sitting on Steven’s coffee table.  So I would go someplace else.  Maybe even buy something besides milk.  This would be great.

At some point in the afternoon I decided to make a minor Mohawk Valley adventure out of it and go to a distinctive, local store:  Melrose Market in Frankfort, NY.  Some people roll their eyes at the thought of going to the grocery store as an adventure, but I don’t think any of those people would read a blog like mine.  Not more than once, at any rate.  I took a roundabout way to Frankfort from Ilion (where I work), going on Route 5S to the second Frankfort exit, by the Fairgrounds.  This put me on the same side of the street as Melrose Market.

I noted once again that the Balloon Farm Bed and Breakfast is for sale.  That is a lovely historic building.  I’ve been to a couple of Herkimer County Historical Society fundraisers there.  I hope somebody nice buys it and hosts another fundraiser there.

I got a parking space almost right in front of the store, which I did not expect but was very happy about.  I grabbed a couple of reusable bags and went in, making a beeline for the deli counter.

Melrose Market has an excellent butcher department.  I refrained from looking at all the meat, because no doubt I would have found something I couldn’t resist, and our freezer is kind of full these days (we have not been cooking at home enough).  What I wanted was deli meat.  Genoa salami, baked Virginia ham and Muenster cheese.  Yum!  I also looked at some of the store-made food available.  Salads, dinners, soups. Hmmm…. I already had a cucumber salad I made the other day plus ingredients for a tossed salad.  I hesitated long over some fancy olives such as I love but ultimately stuck with just the deli meat and cheese.

Oh yes, we needed bread.  I got some Italian bread from Giuseppe’s Bakery in Utica for Steven (I may eat a slice or two myself) and some flat bread for me (Steven may have some if he would like).  In the produce section I picked up a fresh lemon, to put in some club soda I had at home (I’m drinking some as I type this).

As I paid for my purchases I saw they could not take a credit or debit card for sale less than $5.  I remarked that I thought I was over that.  I went on to say I was trying to pay with cash more often.  The clerk tactfully said the cards were a convenience when needed.

“It’s just me not planning ahead,” I said.  “Operator error every time with me!”  She laughed.

I was quite pleased with my purchases, and I’m sure many of my readers are right now holding up a hand and saying, “But, but…”

Yes, but.  I forgot the milk.  Oh what do you want from me on a Wednesday? (said in a dramatic voice, making a pose with a wrist to my forehead).  Wuss-out Wednesday, in fact.  At least I went one day without whining about how I can’t seem to write.  I hope to see you all tomorrow on Non-Sequitur Thursday.

 

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Not Writing on Bad Attituesday

Posted on June 15, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

Under the heading Glass Half Full:  I get hot flashes at night, so I don’t get good sleep. Then I get hot flashes during the day, and they keep me awake, so I don’t get into trouble for falling asleep at work.  Sometimes menopause does you a favor like that.

I posted that as my Facebook status earlier this evening.  I make bold to lead with it here because, quite frankly, I got nothin’.   Yes, menopausal brain fog continues.  Additionally, it is Bad Attituesday.  I had a TERRIBLE attitude earlier today.  And I was almost completely unable to write.  Could one have something to do with the other?  No doubt these problems feed off each other.  The inability to write came first, since I have been struggling with that for a while, as regular readers know and are probably getting quite tired of hearing about.  Sorry, folks.

My attitude is a bit better since I finished my articles and sent them, with photos for one, to Mohawk Valley Living magazine.  I hope they like them.  Now I must start looking for topics for next month.  I have a couple of ideas, which would make good blog posts as well.  A good blog post for today?  Oh dear, I only wish I had one!

Before finishing my articles, Steven and I took a walk with our new little Shih Tzu Spunky.  Then I ironed patches on a couple pair of work pants:  on the butt of my BDUs and on the knee of my jeans (they are what they call “mom jeans,” and in fact they are my mom’s jeans, which I borrowed once and did not return) (in my defense, she told me I could keep them; Mom has more jeans than I do).  I just thought I’d throw in that little bit of housekeeping, so you would know that I do other things besides sit around and not write.  Happy Tuesday, everyone.

 

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Murky Monday Meanderings

Posted on June 14, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

I am having the damnedest time making my blog post today.  I’m sitting here with my laptop on my lap, being partially distracted by an extremely cheesy true crime show on cable television, and beginning one post after another, none of them very good.

So what, I think to myself.  I can just do a Monday Mental Meanderings, also known as Yet Another Post About Why I Can’t Write a Post Today.  I was going to blame it on menopausal brain freeze (or is that brain fog?  You see what bad shape I’m in!).  I can’t remember why I decided against that course (see what I did just now?).

We went for a nice little walk with our new (to us) little dog.  We met a couple of neighborhood dogs with their person and said hello.  Spunky is much more interested in meeting other dogs than Tabby ever was.  Tabby preferred people or cats.  We only went around the block, but it was pleasant.   Alas, not eventful enough to warrant a Pedestrian Post.

I don’t even have great plans for the coming week, so I can’t do a Preview of Coming Attractions, either.  On the other hand, I do plan to run tomorrow.  I could do a Running Commentary.  How’s that for a plan?  Or perhaps I could try to write about some of the cheese I’m watching tonight.  Right now, I’m turning my foggy brain back to that.  Happy Monday, everyone.

 

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We Have a Dog!

Posted on June 13, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

His name is Spunky and he is a ten year old Shih Tzu who needed a home.  We are a middle-aged couple who needed a dog.  What could be better?

This morning we went down to The Velvet Dog to pick him up.  They are not open on Sundays, but the fellow that was fostering him agreed to meet us there.  I think Spunky remembered us from when we met him before.  He seemed quite content to have me pick him up and carry him to the car.  He was less sanguine when it became clear that I was going to close the door and take him away.  Poor guy was shaking as we drove home, which was fortunately not far.

Once in the house, he became interested in walking around and exploring.  I called my sister Cheryl to let her know we would not make it to church, and while I was on the phone with her, Spunky stood and looked at the door.  I was able to stay on the phone while I got the leash on him and opened the door, but it soon became clear he wanted to go for a walk.  I got off the phone, got Steve and a poop bag, and off we went.

Oh now nice to walk a dog again!  Perhaps it is not as good exercise, due to stopping and letting the pooch sniff almost every pole, tree and patch of grass that interests, but I maintain it is better for your soul.  We went for a second walk later, after I had written a few postcards and enveloped a few letters.  I say, Yay!

Despite the two walks, this is not a Pedestrian Post.  It is a short Wrist to Forehead Sunday post to let you know that we have a dog and are happy about it.  Not a Wrist to Forehead situation, you may say, and I must agree.  However, it is Sunday. My intention is to make a short post and get back to enjoying it.  I hope you are having a lovely day.

 

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Not a Bad Run, But Perhaps Bad-ass

Posted on June 12, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

Did you ever make up your mind to something bad-ass then partway to actually doing it, realize you are perhaps not quite bad-ass enough to do it.  There I was, running down German Street in Herkimer, NY, writing my blog post in my head about how I ran up to Herkimer College the front way (a rather impressive hill, for new readers, if any), and I thought Hmmmm…..

I did not run last weekend due to, oh never mind why, just don’t judge.  Then I only ran on, what was it, Monday?  Too lazy to reach for my running journal or see if I posted a Running Commentary about it (and I have menopausal brain fog and purely cannot remember) (oh yes, I remember now it was Monday. Take that menopause!).

Well, I was not going to write a blog post about how I did NOT run up that hill, so up that hill I went.  It really wasn’t too bad.  Following advice I got many years ago, I just looked at my feet and shuffled up that hill.  I did look up a few times, glancing both ahead and behind me.  Not too far up ahead, enough to feel proud of behind.  This was going to be no problem, or at least a not insurmountable problem.

One reason I had wanted to run up the hill was that earlier in the week a friend had posted a picture of the view on Facebook.  I wanted to see that view again myself.  Accordingly, I looked to the right as I got to the top of the hill.  Hmmm… a bit misty in the distance.  No matter, it was pretty enough and I can run that hill again.

I failed to mention my running attire earlier, but I was in shorts and a t-shirt.  I had wondered if that was quite right since it has been cool for June these last few days.  My hands were feeling pretty cold.  One thing that did not help was I was carrying a small bottle of water in one of them.  You see I was at a very fun party last night and was a trifle, shall we say, dehydrated this morning (again, don’t judge).  I was sipping water as I ran and planned to refill my bottle at the spring on the way back down.  Now I looked at the Herkimer College sign that flashed the date, time and temperature.  45 degrees.  That is my cut-off temperature for shorts and short sleeves, so I should be good.

I ran down the back way, which is a quiet, woodsy road.  Of course the main roads were pretty quiet at the time I was running.  I do love getting up and getting right on the road when possible.  I finished my water about four or five minutes before I passed the spring again.

I had run 31 minutes the weekend before last and 24 on Monday.  I thought it was not unreasonable to shoot for 33 today and I saw I was handily going to make that.  I was at 26 minutes when I got to the spring.  I stopped my watch while I refilled. Straight home would give me 33 minutes, or perhaps a bit more.  No matter.  I was bad-ass.  My legs felt pretty good, although they would not have minded stopping.  My breathing was a bit labored, but I felt I was getting sufficient oxygen.

On Church Street I encountered two neighborhood dogs and their owner.  I quickly ran to them.  For one reason, as regular readers know, I love to pet dogs.  For another I wanted to tell their person about our pending pooch.  I knew she would be pleased.  She said she hoped she would be out sometime when we are walking him.  No doubt we will encounter one another.

I had stopped my watch again while I petted and chatted. Now I turned it back on again.  I was a mere block away from my house, so I felt a little silly doing so, but why not run the last bit?  I ran past the house to make my total 35 minutes.  I went into the house for a sweatshirt before my cool-down walk, which felt wonderful (both the sweatshirt and the walk).  I have big plans to run tomorrow.  Up that hill again?  Up a different hill?  Maybe just a long run.  My plan is definitely to run!  Then later I will walk our new dog.  I’ll probably write a blog post about it.

 

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