Category Archives: humor

On Second Thought, It Was a Delightful Sunday

Sunday I woke up feeling down.  Regular readers may recall that I partied rather heartily (for my age) with friends on Saturday and may infer that I was hungover.  Since I did not spend Sunday in acute physical misery (or even moderate misery), I feel that I was merely tired and a little let down that I was no longer hanging out on my deck amidst laughter and love.

Fortunately for me, relieve was close at hand with members of my wonderful family, most particularly our newest member.  Steven and I drove into Chadwicks for church with my sister, Cheryl, her daughter Dana, Dana’s husband, Dan; and Dana and Dan’s delightful eight-month-old son, Shepherd.

It was a beautiful, sunny day, perfect for a drive through the country.  We set out up Higby Road, admiring the scenery.  I could not help contrasting the drive with another time I went out Higby Road, and the weather was against me (I believe I wrote a blog post about it).  We found the church with no problem.  Being my usual dithery self, I first pulled into the parking lot then decided to park in the street (point and laugh if you must; it made sense at the time).  As I was walking back up the church’s driveway, a car almost ran me down.

“Get out of the way, old lady!” my sister yelled.

“Oh just run me over,” I said.  “Then you can go in there and pray for forgiveness.”

Dana and Dan were surprised to see Steven and me, because Cheryl had not told them we were coming.  As for Shepherd, he is almost always smiling.

Not surprisingly, Shepherd is a pretty popular guy.  The pastor came over to say hello before mass, confiding that he loves Shepherd to pieces.  I saw two young boys a few rows ahead of us turn around and smile at him, pointing him out to their mother.  As for Shepherd, he smiled at everyone, making unintelligible but friendly remarks.

Church almost always gives me a good feeling, especially when we sing one of my favorite hymns, which we did.  I didn’t know any of the other hymns, but since I vaguely remember how to read music, I managed to sing along.

After church we went to Salvatore’s Italian Bakery and Bagel Shoppe in New Hartford for breakfast.  They offer a wonderful pizza fritta (fried dough, if you are sadly unfamiliar with the delicious Mohawk Valley treat) on Sundays, but I opted for an everything bagel with cream cheese, which turned out to be just what my stomach needed.  Steven got egg, cheese and bacon on a French toast bagel.  I was impressed by the amount of bacon on the sandwich and fascinated by the idea of a French toast bagel, which I had never heard of before. Dana had a bagel with cream cheese while Dan and Cheryl enjoyed sandwiches with ham, egg and cheese.  Shepherd shared a little of the egg from Cheryl’s sandwich, although he did not seem particularly interested (I think he was still hoping to munch down on the beads I was wearing around my neck).

After breakfast (and an unsuccessful attempt to sneak Shepherd into our vehicle), Steven and I headed back over Higby Road.  The views are even better going back towards Frankfort.  When you are at the top of the hill coming down, you can see for miles: farmland, trees, mountains.  Steven was happy I was driving, so he could look his fill.  I managed to enjoy the scenery while still keeping us safe.

I arrived home in very good spirits, although as the day progressed I felt tired, hot and unable to write (see yesterday’s post).  However, it had been a wonderful morning, and I hope to have another one like it soon.

Salvatore’s Italian Bakery and Bagel Shoppe is located at 9270 Kellogg Road, New Hartford, NY, phone number 315-737-5757.  They are open Tuesday through Saturday 7 a.m. to 3 p.m., Sunday 7 a.m. to 2 p.m.

 

Slack Sunday

The weather continues hot, I continue tired, and the blog posts continue foolish.

Welcome to Wrist to Forehead Sunday!

I suppose you all think I’m hungover from partying too heartily last night.  I’m actually mostly tired.  My head doesn’t hurt, my stomach’s not upset.  I just can’t seem to write.  This has been an ongoing problem with me, as I believe my foolish  blog posts have shown.

Earlier in the week, I had some glimmers of hope when  I wrote a whole other page on a post I could not complete previously.  I think it’s going to be a really good post.  If I can ever finish it.  I have a draft saved of a post I started to write week before last.  I tried to finish that one, too.  I couldn’t do it, because I can’t find a way to describe the restaurant it was about, and it just seemed wrong to write the post without it.  On Thursday, Steven and I went for dinner at Crazy Otto’s Empire Diner.  Surely that should be a bloggable activity.  Yet, I felt I could not think of anything new to say about Crazy Otto’s.

Writing isn’t the only thing I have been slacking on.  I also have not been running.  Shall I blame the weather for that too?  No doubt it is a factor.  However, other people manage to run. I daresay I could too.

So here is my ambition:  I will write a real blog post tomorrow, and I will go running after work. One minor caveat:  if we finally get the thunderstorms they have been promising us, I will run in place on the mini-tramp.  I’m going to hit Publish on this and just put it out there.  This is Mohawk Valley Girl, turning over a new leaf.

But today I am still going to slack.

Never Drink and Type Be Damned!

I am sitting on my deck with my husband Steven, sipping wine and swapping stories with our dear friends Phyllis and Jim.  We went to a wine tasting at a Valley Wine and Spirits in Herkimer and then dinner at Copper Moose Alehouse in Little Falls.  We had a couple of glasses of wine with dinner.

A blog post must be made.  I always make a blog post.  To be sure, I could have made a blog post earlier today.  I was home. I was even on the computer.  I did not feel like making a blog post.

Full disclosure:  I do not particularly feel like making a blog post now.  I feel like continuing to sit and sip. And listen to silly jokes from my friends.

Oh dear, now they are talking about political posts on Facebook.  I like to stay off politics.  Too much hate.  I don’t have a problem with people disagreeing with me or with each other.  I do have a problem with people making hurtful, hateful, nasty personal attacks on people who do not agree with them.  Do you suppose people will hate on me for expressing such an opinion?  Oh I hate for people to hate on me.

OK, this is what happens when I have the rule of posting every day and I do not make my post early on my day off.  Please be amused by me.  Please continue to read when I manage to post before I have had any wine.  Thank you.

 

Lame Old Woman

Hello, everybody, and welcome to Lame Post Friday, the day I do a silly post and do not apologize for it (that’s my new description for today. I like it).

It really is a Friday for me, because I am not working Saturday.  Woohoo!  Overtime is nice, but I like time even better, if you see what I mean.  I didn’t even have any overtime today, which meant I could sleep in to a leisurely 5 a.m.  I felt like a new woman!

Now that it is after work, I am feeling like the same old woman as usual.   Well, these things happen, especially at my age (middle).  I do not despair of thinking of something to say.

I was going to mention that I have some Mohawk Valley adventures planned for tomorrow.  However, I am uncomfortably aware that I have not yet blogged about last weekend’s adventures, nor yet a few adventures I had prior to that.  I use the silly verb “blogged” instead of  “written,” because I have in fact written about some of them.  The paragraphs reside in my notebook (the paper, spiral-bound kind) (do they even still make a computer called a notebook?), awaiting further work.

Wait a minute, I did blog about one adventure.  OK, you pedantic sorts (and I know some of my friends are; hell, I’m something of a pedant myself), I wrote a blog post about it.  That was yesterday’s post about eating a hamburger at Jerry’s Place in Hartwick.  I wish I had another hamburger to eat tonight.  Oh well, one can’t have everything.

One virtue I insist upon for my silly posts is that they be brief.  This post is over 250 words. I call that respectable. Happy Friday, everyone.

 

Burger Bliss

Last week I got a craving for a hamburger.  Not just any hamburger, but a GOOD hamburger.   A juicy, beefy, yummy burger on a bun with stuff.  “Stuff” was not well defined in my craving.  It may have been lettuce and tomato, or maybe cheese and bacon, perhaps mushrooms, onions, or something unusual.  You know, a good burger.

I got such a burger Saturday at Jerry’s Place in Hartwick, NY.  Steven and I were in the midst of our adventures, which ranged among Richfield Springs, Cooperstown, Fly Creek, Burlington Flats, and points in between.  At one point we were very hungry, and there was Jerry’s.

“It’s the place with all the lunch boxes,” Steven said.  The walls are lined with vintage lunchboxes.  The rest of the decor is pure Americana, including models of old cars and a statue of Elvis.

Steven ordered a Bacon Cheeseburger while I got and M.O.S., which had caramelized mushrooms and onions topped with Swiss cheese.  Steven also got a chocolate shake, because he noticed that it was served in a mason jar.  I got a bottle of water, because I feared dehydration.

We made our orders at the counter and were given a plastic magnetic letter to put on our table.  It did not take long for someone to bring us our food.  It was quite yummy. We could have gotten ice cream for dessert, but the burgers were pretty filling.  We left feeling well-fueled for further adventures.

Jerry’s Place is located at 6635 St. Hwy 28, Hartwick, NY, phone number 607-547-1037.  You can visit their website at http://www.jerrysplaceny.com/ and you can Like them on Facebook.

 

This is Not What I Wrote on Break at Work

Oh this is dreadful.  I was so determined NOT to have a Wuss-out Wednesday.  I brought all my notes and fliers from the weekend’s adventures to work with me.  When it was break time I opened my notebook and started writing!

Well, first I couldn’t settle on a lead.  That shouldn’t matter, I told myself.  Just write something, anything.  You can always edit later.  I wrote a sentence.  Crossed it out.  Wrote another sentence.  Crossed it out.  Consulted my notes.  Realized I had left at least one flier at home.  Sat with my pen poised over the notebook till the buzzer rang and I had to go back to work.

During a ten minute break, by the way, I had worked on, I think, three potential blog posts and one article for Mohawk Valley Living magazine.  If anyone is gearing up to lecture me on focus, just give it a rest.  I gotta be me.

Back at work, I pondered my dilemma.  I picked one topic I thought I could get written.  I considered the different things I could write about it.  I went to lunch, opened my notebook, picked up my pen, and started writing.

I got almost a whole page done.  Aaahh.  I didn’t hate it.  I barely crossed anything out.   I was following my notes and adding insights and observations.  I could so write!  This was going to be just fine, a perfectly acceptable blog post.

And then the whole thing just  kind of petered out.  I was maybe a quarter of the way through my notes.  I reminded myself that I did not have to use ALL my notes.  But how many notes should I use?  Had I used the notes I’d used so far to best advantage?  Was this really anything anybody would want to read?

I know, this is inner critic carping that one must tune out while in the throes of composition.  The problem is, the bitch had a point.  What I had written may indeed have been perfectly acceptable, but I could do better.  It was almost the end of lunch time anyways.  I could fix everything later.

Who knew I would be so tired after work?  Oh, I know YOU probably did (you know who you are).  For heaven’s sake, three ten-hour days, two rehearsals, not a lot of sleep, swelteringly hot, humid weather.  AND NO, I AM NOT COMPLAINING ABOUT THE HEAT, I AM MERELY POINTING OUT THE FACT THAT IT MAKES ME TIRED!!!  Jeezum.

On the brighter side, some readers enjoy posts about the writing process.  I myself often enjoy reading what other bloggers have to say on the subject.  On the even brighter side, I still have the stuff I wrote today.  I can look it over and edit, add, polish etc, tomorrow.  And I don’t have rehearsal tonight.  I can go to bed early.

I hope you are all having a stellar mid-week.

 

Hot Under the Collar

So yesterday, while I was typing in my Monday whatever-it-was (Middle-aged Musings or Mental Meanderings), I remembered Bad Attituesday.  Just in time, because that is what I am having right now.

It really was not a bad day at work.  Things got awfully warm, and I am almost always something of a heat injury (that’s a real thing, you know;  even the army didn’t think I was being a big fat baby) (well, not about that, anyways, but we’re not talking about the army).

Where was I?  Ah yes, not a bad day at work.  I even started to write some stupid thing that may have made a decent blog post, before the heat injury portion of the day.  Now I’m home and the Bad Attitude portion of the day has hit me in full force.

What, I must ask, the hell is wrong with me?  I got home, took a refreshing cool shower, drank some iced coffee… these are things that ought to improve one’s mood.  Could it be anxiety over tonight’s rehearsal for Roxy (you know, that play I’m in at Ilion Little Theatre)?  One reason for tension is that I have nothing decent to wear.  You see, I want to wear skirts to rehearse in, because I will be wearing a skirt for performances.  It will help inform my character.

I have many skirts, some of which even still fit (I have been gaining and losing weight since the ’80s).  I found a wraparound India skirt I purchased in, I believe 1983.  As everyone knows, a wraparound skirt will almost always fit.  I found a t-shirt in a compatible color.

Therein lies my problem.  All my t-shirts lately have been binding on my neck.  Am I getting a fat neck in my old age?  Oh for heavens’ sake!  I can live with the arthritis, hot flashes, presbyopia and general breaking down of my body.  I can even accept the fact that it is much harder to lose weight.  But a fat neck?  What’s that all about?

Then again, the character I play in Roxy is the first and last woman hanged in Herkimer County.  Perhaps a shirt that is a little tight around the neck can inform my character.  A good actor utilizes all possible resources.  I bet even my bad attitude will come in handy.  Hope to see you all on Wednesday.

 

Midsummer Monday

I began the week determined to write my blog posts in advance.  I would not spend the week composing nonsense at the keyboard, mostly about how I just can’t write a real blog post.  I was going to Write Real Blog Posts.

So far, not so good.

In my defense, quite a full weekend, ten hour day today, rehearsal tonight (you know, for the play I’m in?).  Oh, and temperatures in the 80s (92 in Little Falls, which is not that far away).  I do not work in an air conditioned building.  When I did work in an air conditioned building, I wore  sandals skirts with no pantyhose.  Now I wear steel-toed work shoes and BDU pants.  I say this with pride, not complaint.  I am bad ass.

Unfortunately, “bad ass” does not necessarily translate into “able to write awesome blog posts.”

I tried, I really did.  Actually, what I first tried to write was an article for Mohawk Valley Living magazine.  I thought perhaps I could publish a shortened version for the blog.  It did not go well.  I tried to work on my novel.  I wrote one sentence on a scene I had previously written.  That effectively brought the scene to an end.  I started another scene.  Then I couldn’t remember if one character did or did not believe in ghosts.

How could I forget such a thing?  How long have I been living with these characters?  What kind of a writer am I?  I was too traumatized to write anything else.  I looked over my lines for the play then helped a co-worker with a crossword puzzle.

Now I must finish getting ready for rehearsal.  For anyone just tuning in, it is for Roxy, at Ilion Little Theatre.  I play Roxy.  And I just realized something:  yesterday was Severed Head Sunday.  Today I am going to rehearsal for a play in which I CHOP MY HUSBAND’S HEAD OFF!  Oh how delightful to have something in common with Joan Crawford!

So what if I can’t always write an awesome blog post?  I’m still bad ass.

 

Severed Head Sunday

Spoiler Alert!  I’m going to be talking about several movies and I’m not going to worry if I give anything away.  Jaws, Strait-Jacket, Sleepy Hollow, The Brain that Wouldn’t Die.

We’re watching Jaws, because it is a good summer flick.  This is what I call relaxing movie viewing: something we’ve seen before that we can just enjoy.  Until the moment when Robert Shaw scrapes his fingernails along the chalkboard to get everybody’s attention during the big village meeting.  I cringed.

“My most UN-favorite moment of the movie,” I said.  “I don’t even mind the severed head.”

In fact, the first time I saw the severed head (you know, when Richard Dreyfus is underwater looking at the recently sunken boat), I jumped and said, “EEWW!”  But it’s a great moment in a scary movie.  Thinking about it, I came up with the title of today’s blog post.  I hope you like it as much as I do.

Last night we watched Strait-Jacket with the incomparable Joan Crawford.  This movie featured several severed heads.  It is one of my favorites.  I loved it even before I knew it was produced and directed by that master of such movies, William Castle.

Naturally I started thinking about other movies we could watch that featured severed heads.  My first thought was Sleepy Hollow, or as I like to call it, The Headless Everybody.  I told Steven we should watch some more severed head films and he said, “Like The Brain that Wouldn’t Die.”

“You’re a genius,” I said.

Ooh, as I typed all this in, the movie progressed and they are ALMOST to the moment of the severed head.  I must stop typing and watch.  As I look back on this post, I do not believe the Spoiler Alert was truly necessary.  No matter.  A couple of bold-faced words is always a good start for a blog post.  I hope you are all enjoying your Sunday as much as I am.

 

We Interrupt this Scattered Saturday to Make a Blog Post

I have been adventuring all afternoon after getting up at 3:30 a.m. and working overtime, with the result that I am too tired to compose a proper blog post (what a surprise, me not making a proper post.  Say it ain’t so!).  I will go with my usual Scattered Saturday method and give a brief overview of what we did.

We headed to Richfield Springs, NY to go to the Richfield Springs Historic Association Museum and Exhibit Hall.   We knew it was located at 134 W. Main St., but you know, Main Street in any town can be long.  We missed it the first time through but noticed a Farmer’s Market going on. We turned around and parked near that.  We figured it was a nice day for a stroll down Main Street in any case.

The Farmer’s Market had some interesting looking vendors.  I would have liked to purchase some cheese or produce, but since  I was not sure how long it would have to stay in my hot car, I refrained.  On down Main Street we went. Richfield Springs is a charming little village.  I pushed the button to get a Walk signal just about the time a fire engine was turning onto Main at that corner.

The fire truck was followed by roughly 8,764 motorcycles (no, I didn’t count them, but I thought that number was closer to the truth than “a bazillion,” which is what I started to type).  It must have been some official ride for something, although I never found out what.  Still, it was fun to see all the motorcycles.  I do love a parade.

When we finally found the museum, it still lacked ten minutes till it opened.  Luckily we had noticed a store a couple of doors down called “Finders Keepers.”  It was easy to kill some time wandering around looking at antiques, collectibles and, well, one man’s trash.  Then we were on to the museum.

I’ll write more about both Finders Keepers and the museum later.  For now I’ll just say we had a great time and both places are definitely worth another visit.  We walked back to the vehicle feeling that if that was all we did, it would not be a bad afternoon’s adventure.  As we reached our vehicle,  I noticed a lady walking down the sidewalk.

“Hey!  That’s Aunt Mary!”  I didn’t mention that my Aunt Mary and Uncle Ted live in Richfield Springs, but they do.  I had gotten their phone number from my mother thinking we might call and stop by at some point.  As it turned out, we would not have had a chance to do so, but Aunt Mary and I had a nice little chat on the sidewalk.

Our adventures continued and included Pail Shop Vineyards, Jerry’s Place, Dyn’s Cider Mill, Rustic Ridge Winery, and a whole lot of driving through windy, hilly country roads.   We had a wonderful afternoon.

And now I’m tired.  I’m having a cup of coffee, which may revive me somewhat.  One might think I could then write a better blog post, but I don’t think this one is contemptible. Or do I flatter myself?  No matter.  I’m over 500 words.  I’m going back to enjoying my weekend with my husband.  Happy Saturday, everyone.