That Damn Book

Posted on April 30, 2014 by mohawkvalleygirl

This is going to be another Tired Tuesday post, because I fulfill both criteria. I feared that would be the case, since my husband Steven and I planned on doing laundry after I got off work. Therefore, I went to work determined to write something while at work. Something not too long.

I guess no words at all is not too long.

Well, let me explain how the fates conspired against me. You may say I did myself in by succumbing to my own addiction. Potato, po-tah-to. A friend at work had told me about a book she had read that she thought I might like. It is a novel based on a local murder case which happened many years ago.

“Oh, I’d love to borrow it,” I told her.

Who knew she would be so prompt? The book was by my work station when I got to work this morning. How very kind of her. I would begin reading it at the first opportunity. First I had a blog post to write. I did, in fact, look at the blank page with a pen in my hand for, oh, a good three or four minutes before I thought I could read just a little bit…

I get to work a half hour to forty minutes early so that I have time to write and sometimes socialize a little. I did neither this morning. Oh dear. Well, there was still the nine o’clock break. And lunch. And the 2 p.m. break. And sometimes two or three minutes at the end of the day while I’m waiting to punch out.

I don’t really need to tell you I read during all of those, do I? Determined to make up for my profligacy, I left the book in the SUV at the laundromat and brought my notebook in with me.

And wrote one paragraph, which I immediately despised.

“It’s no use,” I told Steven. “I’m going to read that book and just write something off the cuff when we get home.”

And, I’m afraid this is it. On the brighter side, the book is about a murder that took place in the Mohawk Valley. Perhaps when I finish it I could write a book report for that day’s blog post.

1 Comment

Posted in blogging, books, humor, personal, Tired Tuesday, Why I Cant Write a Post and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Wrist to Forehead Run

Posted on April 29, 2014 by mohawkvalleygirl

Sometimes in the middle of a run, I flash on Gene Wilder in Young Frankenstein. It is the scene where he makes the momentous decision to follow in his grandfather’s footsteps. He sits bolt upright and stares at the audience with the eyes of a madman.

“IT! COULD! WORK!”

I said those words to myself on Sunday, towards the end of my Wrist to Forehead Run. I had been determined to run, not blow it off for two weeks like I did after I ran on April 12. For one thing, my Saturday run had gone so well (perhaps you read my blog post about it), I feel I could be forgiven for thinking “I got this.”

Of course I didn’t “got this.” Every step of Sunday’s run was an effort. When it started out that way, I thought, I just need to get warmed up; it’ll get easier. A block and a half later, I thought, if I write about this I can call it “Wrist to Forehead Run.” That amused me as I pictured myself running along, the back of one wrist on my forehead, the other arm flung back in a dramatic gesture.

“Woe is me!”

That’s a good trick for a runner: think of something amusing and distract yourself from how much running can suck. Of course running does not always suck. If it did, I would find another fitness activity. And there are rewards to running, even when it does suck. For example, silly mental images which are amusing. The ability to write a blog post about it. And never discount the satisfaction of being able to say, “I did it anyways.”

Leave a comment

Posted in humor, personal, running and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Words Before Wine

Posted on April 28, 2014 by mohawkvalleygirl

I’m not having a particularly wrist-to-forehead Sunday, although I did have kind of a wrist-to-forehead run earlier. However, I am having a kind of a wrist-to-forehead moment right now. You see, I must pick Steven up from work for a Wine Tasting Event in about twenty minutes (it became 19 as I typed that). It would be a good idea to make my blog post now.

I CAN’T TAKE THAT KIND OF PRESSURE!!!

What a silly thing to say; of course I can. For one thing, the pressure is purely self-imposed. I can remove it at any time. For another thing, when it comes to writing, I thrive on pressure! I never wrote a paper in school one minute before I had to. Then I stayed up late, scribbling frantically. And the best essays I ever wrote in my life were on exams, writing against the clock, once with a screaming headache due to strep throat.

Ah, those were the days.

On reflection, I must admit that I have no idea if those essays were the best I had ever written or not, because I no longer have access to them and I certainly don’t remember what I wrote (although I did ace the exams in question). Regarding the paper, not having a basis for comparison, we can’t be sure the papers would not have been better with more time taken.

This is not the post I sat down to write. I had meant to write about how I did almost everything on my to-do list. Except write this blog post. Wait a minute, maybe it is exactly the post I sat down to write. Ah, deadlines.

At any rate, I am over 250 words. I’m going to go taste some wine.

1 Comment

Posted in blogging, commentary, humor, personal, Wrist to Forehead Sunday, writing and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Begin Again AGAIN

Posted on April 27, 2014 by mohawkvalleygirl

So we were all excited that Saturday Running Commentary was back, and then, well, it wasn’t any more. This morning, I had no plan to run. I had a vague thought that perhaps at some point today, I’d give it a try. So there I was, about an hour before Steven had to be at work, thinking, what would I do? I really needed a shower. Shower now, run later, shower again? Stay stinky, run later, shower then? Oh, hell, like Nike says, just do it.

I got my gear on, I got out the door. I was doing it!

I figured I had enough time to run for 20 or 23 minutes and do my cool down walk with Tabby before Steven had to leave. Of course it was not really a problem if he left while I was gone, but he is a creature of habit. He might lock me out of the house without thinking about it. Then too, I do like to kiss him good-bye. I’m that sort of a wife.

The first thing I realized was that I was running faster than my usual pace. Naturally I was; I was in a hurry to finish the run before Steven left. The problem with that is I run for a certain length of time, not a certain distance. Twenty minutes is twenty minutes, whatever pace I run. Silly me. Well, the pace felt good. I kept it up as long as I felt like it and slowed down when I had to.

The second thing I noticed was that I was cold. My thermostat said the outdoor temperature was 45. That is normally shorts and t-shirt running weather for me, adding a sweatshirt for the cool down walk. But I am out of shape (actually, I maintain that round and puffy is a shape, so I guess technically I am NOT out of shape, but you know what I mean). So I felt a little cold. My hands felt really cold. At least my ears were OK, because I had found a headband which covered them.

The world was grey and gloomy. It had rained in the night but had luckily stopped. I don’t mind gloom. It suits me. I dodged around some of the puddles but was unable to avoid all the mud. No matter. I could take off my sneakers at the door.

As I ran, it occurred to me that it was not a problem. I can get back into running ANYTIME, I told myself. This is EASY! Really, it felt better and better. I even stopped feeling so cold. I suppose my hands might have been numb, but I didn’t need to use them. They’d be fine.

The question was how far to run. I had done 23 minutes when I ran two weeks ago. I thought 20 would be OK, since I was beginning again (yes, my two-weeks-ago run was supposed to be beginning again; sometimes these things don’t work out). Then I thought, I have been running for 23 minutes for a while now, with all these new beginnings. Perhaps I should break the 23 minute barrier.

Then again, I had the whole rest of my Saturday to get through, with a not inconsiderable list of chores I wanted to get done. I probably shouldn’t rack myself up. I mean, the idea isn’t to run as far as one can possibly run, is it? Oh, I suppose for some people it is. I finally compromised on 24 minutes.

As I finished the run, my inner critic said, this is no way to build up time. But my optimism, buoyed up by the thought that I HAD RUN, said, perhaps not, but it is a very good way to begin again. I ignored the inner critic’s math as she began to tally up the number of times I have tried to begin again.

As Tabby and I walked my cool down, I felt terrific. I love running! I have a definite plan to run tomorrow, and at least twice in the coming week. Thus I publish my intentions, in hopes it will encourage me to follow through.

Now about that list of chores…

1 Comment

Posted in humor, personal, running, running commentary and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Lamely Theatrical

Posted on April 26, 2014 by mohawkvalleygirl

I said earlier this week that I would use Lame Post Friday to consider the term “marvelously theatrical.” Regular readers (if any) may remember that George Zucco was described thusly in a summary of a Horror Classic I once saw.

The term “theatrical” to me seems a little silly. I would think that if something is on a stage in a threatre it is, by definition, theatrical. Kind of like looking your age. My dad says, how can you not look your age? I’m 50. This is what I look like at 50. Hence, I must look 50 (I know, I KNOW some of you probably think I DO look 50 or worse. It’s just an example) (And when my dad was 50, everybody said he didn’t look 50) (but I digress).

Perhaps it is one of those words that “I can’t give you a definition, but I know it when I see it.” I could explain this better in person. I would sit demurely and say in a quiet tone of voice, “I am in a theatre. I am theatrical.” Then I would leap to my feet, make a wide gesture with one arm and shout, “I am in a THEATRE!” Then a wide gesture with the other arm, “I am THEATRICAL!” Can you picture it?

I bet some of you have been sitting there trying to get a word in edgewise and point out to me that George Zucco was in a MOVIE not the THEATRE. Oh silly me. Did I even realize there is a difference?

Of course I did, stop looking so smug. I would submit that the difference may be less than we think. And I believe audience expectations are similar: they want to be entertained.

There is a wonderful scene in All About Eve where Gary Merrill tells off Ann Baxter for scorning movies vis a vis Broadway. He basically says that theatre encompasses all sorts of entertainment, “wherever there’s magic and make believe. So don’t approve or disapprove. It may not be your theatre, but it’s theatre for someone.” (I may be misquoting; don’t judge.)

“I just asked a question,” she replies, in that demure, well-modulated voice she uses when she’s got everybody fooled.

Steve and I always say, “Yeah, right,” because she used a horrified tone of voice, as if Hollywood is the antichrist.

Hmmmm… Do you suppose that’s kind of what the summary writer meant? That George Zucco is way better than an ordinary movie actor — he’s THEATRICAL (with gesture)! Perhaps he was just looking for a more impressive way of saying, “George Zucco is really, really good.” I eventually came to the conclusion he meant that George Zucco chews the scenery in a good way.

He is a pretty good actor. His presence will certainly be a selling point in my ongoing quest for movies to write about. Maybe one day I will even write a marvelously theatrical blog post.

Leave a comment

Posted in commentary, humor, personal and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Fresh Air! Times Square!

Posted on April 25, 2014 by mohawkvalleygirl

In Dolgeville, NY is an eatery called Green Acres. I have never been there, but it is an object of some interest to me because of the name. You see, the theme from the TV show Green Acres is quite a source of entertainment for my husband Steven and me. We used to sing it at karaoke. We quote the lyrics at appropriate times (and a few inappropriate; we’re that way). We even used a re-written version switching the male and female parts to audition for a musical at Ilion Little Theatre (I did not get a part).

All this by way of introduction to a silly work story I offer for this week’s Non-Sequitur Thursday.

Joanie, who lives in Dolgeville, goes to Green Acres sometimes. Marshall always wants her to take him. The place is only open in warm weather, so it is a sign of spring when I can start asking Marshall has he been to Green Acres and asking Joanie if she has taken him. Yesterday, spring came for me.

“Hey,” I said to Marshall, “Green Acres ought to be opening right along here.”

“Last weekend,” he told me. “Joanie’s already been.”

“And she didn’t take you?” I was shocked, shocked.

“She didn’t even bring me anything! I asked her to.”

“Not even a napkin? That’s what I would have brought you.”

“I’d have taken it,” he said. “A souvenir!”

I duly reported the conversation to Joanie today. I also told her I was going to write a whole blog post about how she refuses to take Marshall to Green Acres. She was OK with it. She even said she was willing to take Marshall to Green Acres, as long as he was buying. I neglected to convey the offer to Marshall. I think he’s more likely to see if next time Joanie brings him a napkin.

Leave a comment

Posted in humor, personal and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

“Marvelously Theatrical” Cheese

Posted on April 24, 2014 by mohawkvalleygirl

It was a sad day for me when I realized I had seen all 50 of the Horror Classics on the DVD set I gave Steven some birthdays ago. Now where will I find cheesy movies to write about, I lamented. Then I remembered that I had also gotten him 50 Mystery Classics. I don’t know if I can expect mysteries to be as cheesy as horror movies. Still, murder and mayhem, what’s not to like? I would give it a try.

I selected Fog Island (1945), starring George Zucco. Zucco, I remembered, was described as “marvelously theatrical” in a horror classic I had seen. That boded well. I eschewed the description on this one, because I know from experience they often give too much away.

Speaking of which, SPOILER ALERT!!! A big one this time, because I am going to tell you EVERYTHING, including the climax and the end. So you’ve been warned.

I’m actually not too worried about giving away the plot, because I didn’t properly understand it. I think Zucco just got out of prison where he had been sent on trumped up charges of cheating some people who think there is still some money to be had somewhere. While Zucco was in prison, somebody came to Fog Island and murdered Zucco’s wife in hopes of gaining said money.

Zucco and his beautiful stepdaughter (the obligatory beautiful young girl) are on Fog Island, discussing this while at least two suspicious-looking types listen in. The stepdaughter wants only to be left alone, but Zucco has invited all his malefactors to the island. The malefactors will accept the invitation, because they think they might get at the money. Zucco, of course, has other plans.

Now I don’t properly understand high finance, but if the money-stealing charges against Zucco were trumped up, shouldn’t the malefactors already have the money? And if there is no money, as in fact seems to be the case, where did it go? I guess money can just disappear in these investment schemes, but I thought usually somebody somewhere eventually ended up with it. But no matter. We have a murder, we have a guy seeking revenge. What more do we need?

The eavesdroppers from scene one turn out to be Zucco’s colleague who was also sent to prison (different prison, similar charges) and the mysterious butler, who, if his mystery was ever explained, I missed it (in my defense, I was writing notes in the TV Journal).

Of course the greedy malefactors show up at Fog Island. As many of you saw coming, the only boat on the place returns to the mainland and there is no phone. I don’t have a problem with the set-up; it’s the basis of many a good thriller. However, you would think a villain clever enough to get George Zucco sent to prison on false charges when they don’t even know where the money is would be foresighted enough to take their own damn boat to an island.

Before his guests arrive, Zucco rigs a rather heinous booby trap. In a room deep in the basement, the door will lock and water will pour in. He moves a table over the device that triggers the trap and put a skull on the table. I am rather fond of skulls as decor myself, so I would undoubtedly be lured by such a trap. I’ll have to watch my step.

Amongst the malefactors is the son of one who had died, a nice-looking young man who apparently has some past with Stepdaughter (just when you thought there wasn’t going to be a love interest). The other malefactors include a turbaned psychic, a hot blonde and a couple of guys. The psychic was my favorite, but I tried not to get too attached to her, because I figured they would all come to a bad end.

And of course they did, even George Zucco (I TOLD you I was going to tell the ending!). Zucco at least dies happy, because he feels that in stabbing him, the guy has as good as confessed to murdering his wife. The guy next stabs the psychic, who is dumb enough to turn her back on him. Then he and the remaining two malefactors get trapped in the heinous set-up I mentioned earlier. That scene was as disturbing as I feared it would be, but I have a horror of being trapped and drowning.

In the meantime, Young Man and Stepdaughter have patched up their differences and are preparing to leave the island (is it morning already? How time flies when you’re killing off malefactors!). While Stepdaughter packs, Young Man discovers the corpses.

“I should tell my stepfather I’m going,” she says.

He tells her he’s seen stepdad, who is OK with her leaving. He also tells her, in effect, not to worry her pretty little head over the others, just get on the boat. They exit happily into sunshine. Get it? Fog Island is no longer covered with fog. Romantic sigh.

I have left out a few things, but we don’t need this blog post stretching off into eternity after all. I do tend to get long-winded in these movie write-ups. I was quite pleased with the cheese factor in the movie. I look forward to watching others in that DVD set. And I may take some Lame Post Friday to philosophize half-bakedly on the meaning of “marvelously theatrical.”

1 Comment

Posted in humor, movies and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Getting Crazy at Otto’s

Posted on April 23, 2014 by mohawkvalleygirl

I could not believe that as many times as our friend Tracy has visited, we had not taken her to Crazy Otto’s Empire Diner. Before she left us two Sundays ago, I remedied the omission.

We tried to get there earlier-ish, because Crazy Otto’s does a booming business. We had to wait for a table to get cleared, but it did not take long. Two other people asked us if we’d been helped while the young man cleaned it off. Did I mention the service there is excellent?

Soon we were sitting perusing menus and admiring the decor. Of course I’ve seen it many times, but it’s always fun to look again. Tracy was especially impressed with all the license plates. I showed her ours from Georgia, that we had given them some time ago. I like being part of the display.

I pointed out the Crazy Elvis on the menu, since Tracy loves Elvis and it is one of my personal favorites — peanut butter and banana on French toast. She decided to order that. After much debate, I chose biscuits and gravy. It was bacon gravy instead of the usual sausage. Quite tasty. Tracy enjoyed her breakfast too.

I was happy to see my friend so well-fueled for her drive home. I think it was a good finish for her Mohawk Valley Weekend.

Crazy Otto’s Empire Diner is located on Albany Street in Herkimer, NY. For more information call 314-866-8801 or visit their website at www.crazyottosempirediner.com.

Leave a comment

Posted in breakfast, diner, humor, local business, personal and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

But I’m Not Supposed to be Tired till Tuesday!

Posted on April 22, 2014 by mohawkvalleygirl

OK, so I just sat here looking at a list I wrote last week of potential blog posts I could write, and yet not writing any of them. I did not write a blog post while at work. I started to write something, then worked on a letter to my sister. As I continued to work, I thought, “This is no problem. I’ll go home, run, then write about my run.”

Oh, I am too tired to run. I am too tired to write. What’s that all about? I can’t do a Tired Tuesday post on a Monday! Monday is for Middle-aged Musings! Dammit! I can’t even stick to my own schedule which is, as you may have noticed, not particularly onerous.

I just sat here looking at the word “onerous” and thinking it did not look right. It looked like it should be pronounced “won-russ”, like the number 1 with rous. Or “wondrous” without the d. My computer did not underline it in red (like it is doing with “won-russ” and “rous”), but I looked it up in the dictionary anyways (I had to pause to remember if O came before or after P). It’s right.

My new plan is to take my precious list downstairs with me and write down why I could not write these potential blog posts tonight. The reasons involve foolishness like I don’t feel like looking up the links I would like to include or I left my notes in my work bag (said bag is on the kitchen floor, it’s not in the Antipodes after all) (I did mention I was tired, didn’t I?) (Incidentally, I believe that is the first time I have ever used the word “Antipodes” in a sentence).

Where was I? Ah yes, nowhere but working on getting somewhere for tomorrow’s blog post. At least I amused myself with today’s silliness. I can only hope others were entertained.

Leave a comment

Posted in blogging, humor, personal, writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Not Wrist, Walk

Posted on April 20, 2014 by mohawkvalleygirl

I feel it would be wrong to have Wrist to Forehead Sunday on Easter. And in any case it is unnecessary. My wrists are in their accustomed place, just beyond the edge of my keyboard, as I type. I shall offer instead a Pedestrian Post, utilizing a very nice walk I took with my schnoodle Tabby this morning.

I had to take my husband Steven to work at nine, in order to pick him up at one and go to Rome to my parents’ house for dinner. I have a list of things to accomplish in the meantime (I was taking my chances in doing this as such lists often send my wrist right to my forehead — “I’ll NEVER get these things done!”). I did the worst thing first, a sensible action I rarely take. I did the dishes. Then I did what promised to be one of the most pleasant: taking my dog for a walk.

It is as fine as an Easter morning ought to be: bright and sunny. Not awfully warm yet, but it’s early. At least I didn’t feel I needed my toque and insulated sweatshirt. Regular sweatshirt and crazy old lady hat. Prescription sunglasses and a couple of poop bags. I was ready.

Tabby was very happy to go. And stop. Of course dogs like to stop and sniff a lot, that is what they do. Today she seemed to find even more interesting spots than usual. I tried to indulge her as much as possible, although I do try to keep her from sticking her face into other dogs’ poo (WHY do these dog owners not pick it up like the rest of us do?).

We went by our favorite Historic Four Corners and down Main Street. We met a lady walking a very cute little white dog. The dog was quite interested in meeting Tabby. The lady and I petted each others’ dogs and chatted a little. It’s nice to meet another dog owner.

Heading up another street, we walked by a young man on a cell phone. He was too intent on his conversation to notice us. Tabby gave him an interested look but let him by. I saw a young lady further down the street on a cell phone, alternately talking into it and hollering at her kids not to come outside. I thought it would be funny if she was talking to the young man.

It was funny. I heard her say, “NOW do you know where you’re going?” and head back into the house. Then he headed towards that house. What did we do without cell phones? Got better directions and read house numbers, I suppose.

When we were almost home I saw a lady and little girl walking towards us. Tabby definitely wanted to meet them, because she walked right by our house towards them.

“My dog loves to meet people,” I told them.

The lady said her little girl was sometimes afraid of dogs, but I assured her Tabby was a good dog. They both petted her. The little girl seemed pretty OK with it. Really, Tabby is a most unthreatening pooch.

We enjoyed our Easter walk. Now I must see about crossing a few more things off that list before it’s time to pick up Steve (I guess I can at least cross off “Make blog post.”)

Leave a comment

Posted in humor, Pedestrain Post, personal and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.
← Older Posts
Newer Posts →