Category Archives: humor

Year End Foolishness

Posted on January 1, 2018 by mohawkvalleygirl

For my New Year’s Eve Wrist to Forehead Sunday post, I am going to go into my Media Library and select one picture from each month of 2017, re-share it, and say something about it.  A kind of a Year in Review, which I have missed all week on the morning news shows, because I have not been paying attention.  I am not too concerned if anybody pays any attention to me, either.  It is that kind of a New Year’s Eve.  Here we go.

He was such a sweetie! When he wasn’t being a stinker. Kind of like me.

Lots of good choices from January, but I have to go with the dog.  This is our dearly missed Spunky.  We had him for a very short time.  Wow, way to start off on a downer note, Cindy!

What a great bunch! I am the one in red, getting strangled by the blonde.

This is the cast of LiFT’s production of Rubbed Out at Ruby’s, a real highlight of 2017.  Which reminds me, I have at least one murder mystery I need to get to work on.

I know just how she feels.

This, of course, is a shot from House on Haunted Hill, the original William Castle/Vincent Price version.  We just watched it again the other night, which is too bad, because it might have been a good choice to watch tonight.

Now I’m thinking about The Headless Everybody.

I had to go with another William Castle movie from my April pics.  Strait Jacket, starring the inimitable Joan Crawford, in case you did not know.

“Charles Nelson Reilly isn’t wearing socks.”

I was watching re-runs of this the other day, too. Match Game, by the way (Match Game ’78 is what I was  specifically watching).  I remember back in the ’70’s watching them change the year on Dec. 31.  Yes, I’m old; what’s your point?

Yes, sometimes I venture out of doors.

I thought I would change things up with this shot of actual flowers growing in my actual yard.  I have not much of a green thumb, but some things bloom.  I always think I am going to do better next year, so we shall see what 2018 brings.

Well, now I am going to change things up further and make this a two-parter.  I am now at the six month mark.  I shall do July through December tomorrow.  This is good news for me, because I won’t have to think up another idea.  Happy New Year, everybody.

 

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Not Just Slacker: Sagging!

Posted on December 31, 2017 by mohawkvalleygirl

Ah, what a lousy week for my blog!  Post Christmas let-down, a fender-bender, foolish post after foolish post… and I am damn tired today!  I was going to start a new feature of Sagging Saturday when I remembered I already had one called Slacker Saturday, which is an accurate description of me today.

I had thought of making a post about my goals for 2018, although that would be inviting the scorn of people who Don’t Do New Year’s Resolutions (you know who you are).  Well, why shouldn’t I set goals for myself, and since the calendar is about to turn over, why should I not call them goals for 2018?  Being the dithery, indecisive person that I am, I naturally hesitate to do so.  What if I set these ambitions for myself and fail to follow through?  How foolish will I look and feel?  I suppose no more foolish than usual.

My main goal, which I set for myself again and again throughout the calendar year, is to Write More.  On Facebook this morning, I saw a couple of videos of people who decided to do something every day for 100 days:  doing something they were scared of, going to the gym.  I thought, hey, Work on My Novel.  So when I went to the store this morning, I purchased a nice new notebook and got started.

Did I make a good start?  I can’t tell you that.  I’m sorry I told as much as I did.  It’s not so much the fear of looking foolish I mentioned earlier.  It is the fear of Once You Talk About Writing It, You No Longer Feel the Need to Write It.  So I shall say no more.

My headline now seems less apropos.  Perhaps something about Day One of a Hundred would have been better.  But I am still sagging.  Hey, it’s still a holiday week.  I’ll try to perk up and do better in 2018.

 

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Lucky for Me it’s Lame Post Friday!

Posted on December 30, 2017 by mohawkvalleygirl

I do not think it is such a bad thing to sip and post on Lame Post Friday. Haven’t you people ever heard of Happy Hour?  Just kidding.  We did not go to Happy Hour.  But Steven and I are sitting around having a couple of drinks with our friend Kim at our house. We enjoyed some munchies too, plus a lot of laughs.  Then I thought I had better go ahead and make my blog post, before I forgot to.  I did not want to miss two blog posts in one week.  Lucky for me it’s Lame Post Friday (ooh, that would be a good title, wouldn’t it?).

We have been talking about our respective plans for New Year’s Eve.  I was trying to explain to Kim about our traditional New Year’s Eve movies.  Of course, one cannot expect everyone to understand one’s particular movies.  I don’t always understand other people’s choices for their special times.  However, for the sake of having a blog post, I thought I would share with you ours.  I have no doubt mentioned most of these before, but let’s just look at this as one more holiday tradition.

At the top of my list is Sunset Boulevard.  For one reason, a pivotal scene takes place on New Year’s Eve.  Also, in an early scene, Gloria Swanson serves William Holden champagne and caviar, and later Holden assures a friend that there is “always champagne on ice.”  It is sweet champagne, and I prefer Extra Dry, but I try to gloss over that fact.  Also high on the list is Mystery of the Wax Museum, which opens on New Year’s Eve, although champagne is not involved.  However, we may also watch a movie I like to watch with champagne all year: Alfred Hitchcock’s Rope.  It has nothing to do with New Year’s Eve, but champagne is prominently featured.  I might also suggest King Kong.  This movie does not involve New Year’s Eve or champagne, but it stars Fay Wray, who is also the star of Mystery of the Wax Museum.  The last movie we might consider is Sleepy Hollow, or, as I like to call it, The Headless Everybody.  This is a New Year’s Eve movie mostly because we watched it one New Year’s Eve many years ago.

So this is my Friday Lame Post.  I must get back to drinks and laughs.  Happy Friday, everyone.

 

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Sometimes I Just Want Monsters

Posted on December 29, 2017 by mohawkvalleygirl

It was love at first sight.

I am watching The Bride of Frankenstein, looking for a little cinematic comfort food.  Regular readers know how I love old time movie monsters.  When I went to New Hartford (NY) this afternoon, I rather thought I would make a couple of interesting stops and mention them in a blog post.  Instead I got back-ended and drove straight home.  I wasn’t going to mention that, but I thought it would be unbearably coy of me to say I was shaken and feeling fragile without explaining why.

I’m quite all right, of course.  It’s just that I’m such a big fat baby about such things.  The point is, I came home and after a couple of long phone calls with insurance companies, I read an Agatha Christie book (also comforting) and looked for one of my favorite movies to try to even myself out.  Which does not make for the most scintillating of blog posts, but you’ll have that, especially with me.  Eventually I got so cold, I made myself some soup, which I ate with a Heidelberg roll left over from Christmas dinner.  Yum.

Doesn’t she look classy? I really must take up embroidery again.

I had it in mind to watch Bride of Frankenstein a few days ago, because it was Elsa Lanchester’s birthday.  I adore Elsa Lanchester.  I think she has a better part in Witness for the Prosecution, but we saw that more recently, and anyways, there are no monsters in it.  I really felt I must have monsters.

I may not be this good-looking, but the description is dead on.

I close with a picture I quite identify with. “I myself am entirely made of flaws stitched together with good intentions.”  I am going to declare this a Non-Sequitur Thursday and drive on.

 

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More an Apology than a Post

Posted on December 28, 2017 by mohawkvalleygirl

Well, I did it again.  I went a day without making a post and now I’m sitting here with my first cup of coffee trying to take up the slack.  It is really very foolish of me.  I did not want to write a dumb post about how I did not feel up to writing a real post last night.  So what am I writing this morning?  A dumb post about how I am not up to writing a real post this morning.  I guess my options are to (1) wait till I can come up with a real post, (2) grit my teeth and attempt a real post now, and (3) just go ahead and write the foolish post I should have written last night and have done with.  Oh, and (4) not make a post, give up this pretense of being a real blogger, and stop spewing this foolishness out into the blogosphere. Oh, like THAT’S ever going to happen!

Steven and I did some minor running around yesterday, including going to Ed and Bud’s in Little Falls for a Tom and Jerry, something I have been wanting to do since the Reindeer Run 5K earlier in December.  Oh, don’t go blaming my not posting on the booze; I’ve sipped and typed before.  Yes, I did continue to enjoy a few more cocktails as the evening progressed.  I’m on vacation!  Sheesh!

So here is my Wuss-out Wednesday post.  Just over 200 words typed in Thursday morning saying I am sorry I did not post anything yesterday.  Sometimes it is kind of fun not being a real blogger.  As always, I hope you’ll stay tuned.

 

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A Monster of a Post Christmas Letdown

Posted on December 27, 2017 by mohawkvalleygirl

“How’s that post-Christmas letdown working for you?”

I pause in my post-Christmas letdown/Boxing Day celebrations to make a blog post.  Since I have a 2004 Godzilla movie on cable television as background noise, I thought I would lead with a picture of the big lizard.  This one seemed to have a kind of a red tinge to it, so I found it marginally seasonal.

Some may find it unbecoming that I am having a Tired Tuesday when I am in the midst of a week off (you know who you are), but it cannot be denied that shit happens.  I was looking at my On This Day on Facebook, and in a previous year, a friend noticed how I often suffer from the letdown. She suggested I combat the problem celebrating the 12 Days of Christmas, culminating in a big party on Jan. 6.  Right now I feel far too tired to undertake anything of that nature, although I suppose the suggestion has merit.  Then again perhaps it would merely postpone the letdown.

I must say this Godzilla movie is not doing anything for me either.  I had no great hopes for it, being made as it was in 2004.  Oh, go ahead and start a discussion of all the great movies that have been made in this century.  I have not seen most of them so will have to take your word for it.  In the meantime, how about another picture of Godzilla?

“Hi, guys, it’s me! Have you seen Mothra?”

I thought Godzilla with a big grin might cheer us all up.  In the meantime, I must seek out a good true crime show or a better monster movie.  As usual, I’ll try for a better blog post tomorrow.  Happy Boxing Day.

 

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Merry Mental Meanderings

Posted on December 26, 2017 by mohawkvalleygirl

I think since today is Christmas (although I may be posting late enough that WordPress will stamp this Dec. 26), it is appropriate to use “merry” in the headline.  And I am certainly not up for much beyond mental meanderings.  Oh, I have had a nice holiday.  Two days of hanging out with my family:  lots of good laughs, good food, a few drinks… I am so blessed.

So I am back home, pajama pants on, bra off, crime show on television (Forensic Files), and a little glass of Pinot Noir.  I am basking in holiday thankfulness.  Gee, I hope that is not too boring for a blog post. Perhaps I should look for a picture of a monster to pep things up.

So it’s not a monster. Sue me.

Forensic Files is one of the classier crime shows we watch.  They indulge in re-enactments, but the concentration is on the science of detection.  It is very educational.  We were just talking about it last night, when we found out that one of my nieces likes to watch it on Netflix, sometimes at three in the morning.  The last episode we saw was a case that was previously covered on Snapped.  Regular readers may remember that this is one of my favorite things:  to see the same case covered in different true crime shows.

OK, so I’ve gone from Merry to Murder in just over 200 words.  I’m going to call that acceptable for a holiday Monday.  Merry Christmas everyone.

 

 

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That Squirrel Didn’t Bring Me a Present!

Posted on December 25, 2017 by mohawkvalleygirl

So I have about twenty minutes before Steven gets home from work and thought I might be able to get my blog post done.  He fooled me yesterday.  I thought he worked till 5:30 but it was only till five.  He’s sneaky that way, but I think I have the right time today.  What I do not have is a blog post, but we’ll see what I can come up with.

Earlier today, I was out on our deck, taking out the trash and recyclables, when I heard a hoarse chirpy kind of sound.  This dumb squirrel was on our tree, eating a nut and, apparently, taking exception to my presence on my own deck.  I told him what I thought, but he was not impressed.  Like any self-respecting person of the 21st century would do, I went inside to get a device to take his picture.

If I only had audio, you could hear how audacious this critter was.

I’m afraid it is a little too dark, but my Tablet does not have a flash.  At least, maybe it does but I don’t know how to turn it on.  OK, I am not really a self-respecting person of the 21st century, but I would like to be someday.

Anyways, I sat down to write a blog post with the words “But Here’s a Squirrel” in the title, then I thought I’d like to add a couple more pictures.  So here is an update on a couple of our Christmas decorations.  We’ve added presents.

Steven surprised me with this tableau.

It seems so appropriate for Santa Claus to hold my Christmas presents until you remember: he gives presents to GOOD little boys and girls.  I’ve always suspected that elf was a pushover.  These presents have been on our stairs for a few days now, but I just added the following yesterday:

But can we trust this motley crew not to open them?

This scene is a little busier, and the presents are not wrapped as well.  No matter.  It is Christmas Eve.  This is the day we realize we are not going to have the Norman Rockwell, Hallmark Card Christmas we envisioned back in November, and that is OK.  Enjoy your Christmas if you celebrate it; if not, enjoy whatever you do.  Peace.

 

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Couldn’t It Just Be About Egg Nog?

Posted on December 24, 2017 by mohawkvalleygirl

Oh dear, am I going to have a Wrist to Forehead Saturday on Christmas Eve Eve? It would seem that way, since I am currently, clench-teethedly fighting the type-it-in-then-backspace-it-out disease.  I have not done enough for a Scattered Saturday.  I did not go running.  I left the house once, and the most notable thing about that was how much further around the parking lot I walked to avoid stepping in deep puddles.  All I could think of was how I used to LOVE slushing through the slush when I was a kid.  And how dumb I was not to wear my flood boots.  Well, one cannot always think of everything.

I have been doing some Christmas making but not baking.  White Trash and Chex Party Mix (full disclosure: I use store brand cereal).  I thought I might forgo the cookies but now am second-guessing myself.  I could spend the evening or tomorrow morning baking cookies.  How can I have Christmas without cookies?  What kind of a lazy, Scroogey, Grinchy kind of scumbag am I?  And I already bought the chocolate chips.  How selfish would it be of me to keep them from their ultimate destiny of brightening somebody’s Christmas in a delicious cookie.

This is how I beat myself up at the holidays.  If dithering burned calories, I could eat all the cookies I wanted and still be a size five (yes, I was a size five once, as an adult; it didn’t last long).  I know, Christmas is not supposed to be about material things like presents and good food (or presents of good food), but presence and good friends (the presence of good friends) and family.  My problem is I am not such a great shakes as a human being that people should be happy just to see ME.  And it is certainly a lot easier to bake cookies and wrap a present than to try to improve my humanity.

Oh well, maybe my small heart will grow three sizes one day.  In the meantime, I am over 300 words and I just thought of a fairly catchy title for this foolishness.  It makes it a kind of a Non-Sequitur Saturday, but I like it.  Merry Christmas Eve Eve, everyone.

 

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Late, Lame, but Not Lean

Posted on December 23, 2017 by mohawkvalleygirl

Yesterday I took a real Blogger’s Sick Day.  Judge me if you like, but one can only do so many things when one has a migraine.  Determination will only take you so far.  I was going to say “discipline,” but we all know I am notoriously undisciplined, while nobody refutes that I have a marvelously thick skull.  Maybe that’s my problem with all the headaches.

Just to throw this in there:  I AM doing something about the headaches.  I shall not elaborate on what, because, you know, HIPAA and all that.

Last night I felt incapable of even Lame Post Friday. How unlike me.  It was the last day of work before what I will call Christmas shut-down. I rather thought more people would be feeling more giddy, myself included.  I knew I should have brought cookies.  There is nothing like home-baked cookies to spread the Christmas spirit, as well as to add to the hip-spread of people who really need no help in that direction, myself included.

Yes, I have been sadly aware that this is a HUGE time of year for getting, well, huge.  I knew it was coming; the calendar is remarkably predictable each year, and I have been around quite a number of years.  So did I prepare by dropping a few pounds ahead of time (yes, I KNOW yo-yo dieting is a terrible thing; I’m only talking about five pounds, is that such a problem?)?  Of course not!  I’m still trying to drop the few pounds I put on last Christmas!

So this is my Friday Lame Post:  a late lament about my weight.  I believe that is sufficiently lame, yet universal enough that I hope some people are at least mildly entertained.  For those of you who are not so plagued by those pounds (either by not putting them on or not caring if you do), you may bask in the glow of superiority.   We’ll call that just another service I provide.

 

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