Category Archives: humor

Typing on Tired Tuesday

I felt so tired yesterday, I was sure I would be less tired today, obviating the need for a Tired Tuesday post today.  I did write today.  I spent my breaks at work and some time after work composing my article for Mohawk Valley Living magazine.  It will be a good article.  I hope.  I’m letting it cool off before I re-read it.  At least, I guess it’s my brain that needs to cool off.  The actual article won’t change as it sits.

It is so interesting to me about my articles.  First I have to sit there thinking, “I can’t write this.  I am not able to write this.  Maybe I can write this later.  I can’t write this now.  Whatever will I do if I can’t write this?”  Then I put pen to paper and write it.  Sometimes I get to the second part fairly quickly.  This time I didn’t do too badly.

What I need to do now is apply the “put pen to paper and write” step to my other writing projects:  the banana play, my novel (which novel?  ANY novel!  Pick one I’ve started any time these last forty-odd years!) (um, yes, very odd years).  I keep thinking I am about to do just that, and something seems to stop me.  I’m afraid it is me.  That is rather an embarrassing admission, but it is empowering as well.  The problem is me?  Well, who controls me but ME?  Who can change me?  ME!

Only right now I’m too tired.

Ah, there is something to work on.  I feel sure I am able to write when I am tired.  It is just a matter of doing it.  Like, for example, right now. I am WRITING (actually typing) a foolish blog post (yes, as Truman Capote said, “that’s not writing, that’s typing;” insult me if you like, but acknowledge where you got the quote).  If I can write a foolish blog post when I am tired, no doubt I can write something else.  Maybe a non-foolish blog post?  Let’s not ask for miracles.  Especially on Tired Tuesday.

 

Is This an OK Blog Post?

Well, I’ve been sitting here with my laptop on, you know, my lap, hoping I could somehow magically make a blog post without thinking about it too much.  I guess I didn’t really think that would happen, but I was hoping my stomach would stop hurting and I would start feeling a little less tired.  Oh dear, there I go whining again.  Sorry about that.

Ooh, here’s something to have some Monday Middle-aged Musings about:  why do I complain so much and how can I stop?  I’ll answer the second part first.

Complaining is basically a bad habit, and I have heard of a few good ways to stop bad habits.  One very simple way is: when you notice yourself doing the bad habit, stop.  Really, I read this somewhere.  It is a matter of being aware of what you are doing and choosing to do something else.  When I am complaining and notice I am doing so, the complaint has already been voiced.  So then I say, “And now I’m complaining too much so I’ll shut up.”  And then I try to (it is very difficult for me to not talk at all, but at least I say I’m going to).

Lately I have come up with a new technique.  I try to counteract the complaint by saying, “But that’s OK, because…”  and finding a silver lining or some such.  For example, if I have been lamenting the fact that I am at work when I would rather be home, I might say something like, “But that’s OK, because this is not a bad job.”  If I have been whining about feeling lightheaded, I often say, “But that’s OK, because at least I don’t have a headache.”  Sometimes a complaint will get, “But that’s OK, because… I don’t know why, but I’m sure it’s OK.”

Regarding why I complain so much, well, I am fond of saying, “Always go with your strengths.”  Who knows where these bad habits start? Sometimes it’s just the easiest thing to do.  For example, the bad habit I have gotten into lately of making these foolish blog posts.  Some of these posts are pretty bad.  But that’s OK, because somebody might like to read a bad foolish post.   I hope.

 

Mystery Squash for Sunday Supper

How about a Sunday Supper post instead of my usual Wrist to Forehead Sunday?  Is that a category?  If not, it is now.

I have some squash my lovely friend Kim gave me from her garden.  She had also given me some cucumber, but I used that in a salad I’ve been eating for lunch all week.  I thought it would be a good idea to use the squash tonight.  I consulted Joy of Cooking, an excellent  resource.  I did not remember what kind of squash she said it was.  By the pictures in the book, it looked like a butternut.  Only Joy of Cooking said that was a winter squash, and it is clearly NOT winter (although the weather did get nicely cooler today; not really cool, but definitely more comfortable).  I was confused but just glanced through a bunch of recipes before deciding to wing it, as I usually do.  For one reason, I thought it might make for a good blog post (of course, you, my reader, will be the judge of that).

I know, I just could have called or Facebooked (I just love that word as a verb) Kim and ASKED what kind of squash it was.  I preferred to let it remain a mystery. I do love a good mystery.

I began my cooking by peeling and crushing several cloves of garlic then setting the timer for 15 minutes (you know, to let it “breathe” in order to reach its full health benefits; I put that in for new readers as well as previous readers who may have forgotten).  I chopped up a small onion and put it in a frying pan with some red wine.  You see, sometimes when I cook with wine, I actually use it in the food (full disclosure: I also had a glass while I was chopping etc).  Then I pulled out the squash.

First I washed it, then I chopped in in half.  What a chore!  Some squashes are pretty damn tough, let me tell you.  Then I peeled it with a potato peeler.  This did not go as swiftly as peeling, say, a potato or a cucumber (further disclosure: I rarely peel potatoes and only peel cucumbers when they have that waxy stuff on the skin).  However, I managed to get all the skin off, then chopped it into bite-sized pieces (depending on the size of your bite; I can’t accommodate everyone).  I added the squash to the pan and covered it, so the wine wouldn’t all cook out and make the stuff burn.

After letting all this cook for a while (what, you thought I was going to keep track of how long this all took me?), I added a can of diced tomatoes and a can of tomato paste.  I put water in both cans to get all the tomato stuff out.  I sprinkled in dried basil, oregano and hot peppers.  After a good stir, I put the cover back on, cracking it to let the steam out.

After this had cooked for a bit, I covered it all the way and turned it off so Steven and I could take Spunky for a walk.  One must walk one’s dog, after all.  When I returned, I turned the sauce back on and put on water for pasta.  While the pasta cooked, I grated up the last of some Parmesan-type cheese I had on hand (can’t remember exactly what; the label is long gone.

Our dinner was quite yummy.  I really like that unknown squash.  Imagine my delight when I discovered there is another one in my refrigerator.  I forgot Kim gave me two.  Thanks, Kim!

 

I Finally Got Some Beer!

Once again I interrupt my Saturday gyrations for a Scattered Saturday post.  We got up early(ish), just after six, and I immediately went for a run.  I would have liked to do a Saturday Running Commentary post, but I had other fish to fry.  I was communicating with family via phone and Facebook to coordinate plans.  Then I hustled to the Friendly Bake Shop in Frankfort, NY, for donuts.  I like donuts.

Before implementing the above-mentioned plans, I wrote a few post cards and walked with Spunky to the post office to mail them.  I do like to write post cards.  This week I had some new ones from Florida, which my lovely friend Kim had found while cleaning her house and given to me.  Certain family members had arrived at my house while we were perambulating.  I think at least a couple of them enjoyed a donut.  I had one as well, then we were off to Little Falls for the Mohawk Valley Garlic and Herb Festival.

After checking out the festivities, which included a craft beer tasting at the Piccolo Cafe, some of us went on to lunch at Applebee’s in Herkimer. From there it was a short drive to the Mohawk Antiques Mall in (duh) Mohawk.  I love that place.

Now Steven and I are home.  We took another short perambulation with our pooch and are contemplating our movie viewing plans for the evening.  I want to watch Halloween movies, perhaps of the cheesy variety.  It always makes for a good blog post.  Several of our activities today will make for good blog posts too, I hope. We’ll see what I can manage to write in the coming days.  In the meantime, Happy Saturday, everyone.

 

Humid with a Chance of Lame

Have I written a post this summer about how it is too damn hot for me to write a blog post?   I know I have written several of those in the past, but have I written any in 2016?  I bet I have.  Well, this is another one, but being as it is Lame Post Friday, I believe I can get away with it.

This whole week has been dreadfully hot and humid.  Unofficial end of summer my ass!  Of course there is no use in complaining about it.  The weather will do what it decides to, whoever is pleased or otherwise.  So, anybody who is saying huffily, “I LIKE summer weather” can just say it to somebody else.

I am going through a downswing.  Mood-wise, writing-wise, blog-wise.  But I must fight the tendency to mope around in a corner.  Oh poor, pitiful me!  Said with one wrist at my forehead, of course.  Perhaps I could manage a swoon.  The problem with that is that you can’t count on somebody being around who will revive you with a glass of brandy.  Why did those ladies in the old time novels push away the brandy?  Where they nuts?

Well, that was kind of a stream of consciousness paragraph, wasn’t it?  That is probably a side effect of stewed brain, which is what I fear is in my skull today.   The only other thing I can share in hopes of offering some entertainment is the following:

When I am cleaning my machines at the end of my work day, I sometimes sing the theme song from The Blob.  “It creeps and leaps and glides and slides across the floor, right through the door and all around the wall, a splotch, a blotch, be wary of the Blob! (Beware of the Blob!)”  That’s it, over and over.  Then I do “dah daah!” and other random syllables for the musical interludes.  Then back into the lyric.  Sometimes I dance a tango step or two.

Today, when I got back to the lyrics for the third or fourth time, I heard myself sing,  “…a splotch, a blotch, be wary of the Blog!”

Wouldn’t that be a great title for a post?  But if I used it for this one, it would spoil the joke.  I’ll keep it in mind for the upcoming Halloween season.  In the meantime, I’m over 300 words.  Happy Friday, everyone.

 

Waaaait a Minute! I Never Got My Beer!

So I ran earlier.  It was a pretty lousy run, but I did not despair of writing a passable Running Commentary post.  The trick is to get to the computer while it is all still fresh in my mind.  Well, I tried, but the damn computer was updating.

Then again, I don’t think I was thinking all that many great thoughts during the run.  Mostly I was gasping for breath in the humidity and wondering why the rain wouldn’t start and give me some relief.  Or does rain get rid of humidity instantaneously?  Perhaps it would not have given me any relief at all.  At least it would not have made me appreciably wetter, because I was covered with sweat before I started.

All of this was no great matter, though, because at least I ran.  And by virtue of running on my Monday holiday, I had only gone two days without running.

I can’t say it was a particularly fun run.  Partway through it I felt that I was not enjoying myself and asked myself why I keep thinking I like to run.  I answered, I like to run on weekend mornings, when it is cool and I feel fresh.  Unfortunately, you cannot only run two days a week with five days break in between.  That would not make for enjoyable weekend runs.  Then I pointed out to myself that when running in hot weather my leg muscles warmed up faster.  My leg had felt quite discouraged at the beginning of the run but were doing better by the end.

I carefully pointed out to myself beautiful flowers in people’s lawns and window boxes.  Scenery always helps.  I envied people who were sitting on their front porches. I would have liked to be sitting still on my front porch, possibly with a beverage.

That was when I thought of beer.  A nice cold beer.  How good would that taste?  I thought, VERY.  So that was the reward I kept in my head for the rest of the run.

I finished the run and my cool-down walk before the rain.  I had a lovely cold shower, ate some food and waited for the computer to cooperate.  Then I wrote this blog post, which I am afraid is not as good of a Running Commentary as I had originally envisioned.  Then again, at least the whole post was not about How I Can’t Write a Post Today.  We’ll save that for Lame Post Friday.  I’m going to call this a Non-Sequitur Thursday and hit Publish.  I hope you’re having a lovely day.

 

 

At Least My Toes Look Good!

So I’m still not writing at work.  I just can’t seem to settle into it.  I really need to write, too.  I need a project in hand to think about while I’m working.  Otherwise my brain just dwells on stupid, useless stuff.

After work, I had to hustle.  I got in the shower (did that ever feel good in this heat!), threw on some pretty OK clothes (full disclosure: it was the same outfit I wore to rehearsal last night; it didn’t get smelly and I think it looks good), and drove to the Hot Spot Salon and Spa for a much needed pedicure.

I had the trauma of having to un-paint my toenails and leave them thus plain for most of the summer, because of playing the Friar in Much Ado About Nothing (which you may have noticed a few blog posts about).  I was supposed to get the pedicure and a haircut on Saturday.  Well, I had a whale of a headache Saturday.  I made it to the Hot Spot and sat still for the cut, but when my stylist Clair offered to reschedule the pedicure, I was quite grateful to do so.  Today was the day we rescheduled it for.

I got a lovely deep shade of purple, like a shiny eggplant.  Once my toes were looking good, I picked my husband up and we headed to the Belly Up Pub for some food.  OK we had food at home, but I wanted to show off my toenails.

So I obviously have two things I could make good blog posts about, but it seems all I can manage right now is a brief shout-out to each.  This is what happens on Wuss-out Wednesday, even on a four-day week.  The Hot Spot Salon and Spa is located at 121 E. Albany St., Herkimer.  The Belly Up Pub is at 122 W. Albany St.  Both are well worthy of a post.  I’ll work on it.

 

Too Tired to Toot

I thought this morning that I would not make a Tired Tuesday post today. For one reason, I went back on eight-hour days.  I got up almost an hour and a half later than usual. Yes!  It put me in quite a jaunty mood as I went into work this morning.  I even thought I might go back to a seldom-used feature I have and make a Toot My Horn Tuesday post. As it happens, however, I am getting tired and I have very little horn to toot.

No matter.  One must make a blog post (one being me, of course; I realize other ones do not feel this compulsion).  I just made myself a salad, so could I make a Tasty Tuesday post?  Unfortunately I am quite disappointed in my salad.  I did not have any macaroni to make a macaroni salad with, as I had intended.  Still, the salad I did make was healthy and perhaps lighter in calories than the mayonnaise-drenched vision I originally cherished.  And I ought to feel pleased with myself that I did make a salad.  Ooh, could that be a reason to toot my horn?  Hmmmm…. just not feeling it.

I spent a great deal of today being happy that it is a mere four day week for me.  I looked at the calendar and saw that I have only three five-day weeks before my next long weekend (I’m using vacation days for that one).  These are the things that make me happy.

What else will make me happy?  Writing a better blog post!  Alas, I spent my breaks at work studying my lines for my upcoming dramatic role.  I’ll see if I can’t come up with something better for tomorrow.  Happy Tuesday, everyone.

 

Middle-aged Musings on a Not Real Monday

Happy Labor Day, everybody!  I am still feeling a giddy, feet-shuffling delight that I have a three-day weekend.  Many years of retail, army then retail rendered me quite jaded regarding Monday (and other day) holidays.  I have had Labor Day off since 2011 and it still feels wonderful to me.

Oh, I KNOW other people will never get Monday holidays off, most notably police, firemen, medical workers and other important folks.  Also those of less gratifying work such as retail and fast-food (at least, I was never particularly gratified by working in these fields; perhaps others feel differently).  Why do I feel guilty about being so happy about having a three-day weekend?  I have worked plenty of Monday holidays!  Many people other than me have Monday holidays and other days off that I don’t have.  I suppose I am more susceptible to guilt.  Perhaps it would benefit me to stop taking so seriously what other people say.

I guess I am not letting the guilt take away all my pleasure in my unusual Monday off.  I ran this morning (after first having coffee; I meant to write a blog post about it, oops). Steven,who, quite surprisingly, has today off (he worked the weekend), fixed a lovely breakfast.  We have been watching movies since about noon. It has been a MARVELOUS day.  If only I had written a blog post earlier and, you know,written a better blog post, my life would be perfect.

However, one publishes what one can.  We’ll call this a Monday Middle-aged Musings and drive on.

 

 

We Interrupt my Sunday for a Wrist to Forehead Moment

I pause in the midst of my day for a Wrist to Forehead Sunday post.  It is not really a bad Sunday; I just don’t feel up to making a good post.  I feel sure my readers will understand or at least forgive.  If not, oh well, what the hell, as a wise woman once said (it was my mother).

I got up and ran this morning, managing a better run than yesterday.  In fact, the day all around has been a better day.  I did some laundry, I did the dishes, I finished a letter and wrote a post card, Steven and I went grocery shopping (I neglected to put cilantro on the list, although I had planned to make salsa), I did some chopping and mixing.  I could probably manage a blog post about one of those.  Yet, I feel strangely disinclined to do so.

Oh who am I kidding? There is nothing strange about it.  I often feel disinclined to make what I call a real blog post, especially on a Sunday.  Hence, my usual Wrist to Forehead Sunday.  This is what comes of a blogger not taking any days off.  Would one suggest I make fewer posts per week but make them better?  That won’t work for me; I would just stop posting entirely, because nothing would ever been good enough.

That would be no tragedy, you say?  You could be right, but it is not a very nice thing to say now, is it?  On the other hand, that gives me a reason to have a wrist to forehead moment.  Alack and alas!  Somebody, somewhere does not want me posting every day!  Whatever will I do? Who is this discouraging miscreant?  Ah yes, the imaginary critic in my own head.  Silly me.

Now I am getting entirely too silly.  I shall sign off and get back to enjoying my Sunday.  I hope all my readers are having a similarly enjoyable time.