Category Archives: humor

And It Is SO Pleasant Here out on the Deck

If I have another Pinot Grigio, I may be adding another feature called Sloshed Saturday.  There was one Saturday where I used the title, “Never Drink and Type Be Damned!”  Not a great post, but a rather profound title (or do I flatter myself?).  Be that as it may, I am sitting on my deck trying to get some semblance of a Scattered Saturday post together so I can get back to enjoying my  weekend.

I had to work this morning, rendering my weekend less of one, as you may imagine.  After that I enjoyed Village Wide Garage Sales in Herkimer with my friend Kim.  Later on I had dinner with my husband at the Belly Up Pub (now under New Management).  And in between I had a nap.  Don’t judge.

Last night I participated in a delightful performance of Much Ado About Nothing with LiFT Theatre Company in Caroga Lake, NY.  I must write much, much more about the performance and about LiFt.  However, I feel that right now I shall not be able to reach the profundity the  subject deserves.  Suffice it to say that I had a marvelous time. As with many plays, I have reached the point where I am alternating between “I am never doing another play again” and  “I want a bigger part next time!”

All of this is no matter.  I am over 200 words.  I shall have another glass if Pinot Grigio.  I hope you are all enjoying your Saturday as much as I am.

 

Not Even Time to Think of a Lame Headline

For today’s Friday Lame Post, I shall share what I wrote in my spiral notebook while on lunch at work earlier this week.  I shall add comments as I feel like it.  I think I will put the comments in italics, just to be precious (whatever that means) (I may address that use of “precious” in a future post).  And I just italicized what I just typed in, to be consistent.

My plan, for last week as well as this week, was to write blog posts ahead so I would only have to hit “publish” before heading out for rehearsal or performance.  So far it has not worked out very well.  Still, it’s only Tuesday.  I have hopes for this week.  Not high hopes. As you may guess, I was correct not to harbor high hopes.

Today I am testing a long-held theory of mine.  The theory is:  you can write when you’re in pain as long as it is not a headache.  My wrist is throbbing for unknown reasons.  And here I am writing.  True, it is my left wrist and I am right handed.

Oh!  It hurts like a son of a bitch!  My theory is wrong.

Come to think of it, I knew my theory was wrong years ago.  I had strep throat when I was in college, and it made me feel dreadfully ill.  My head throbbed in a most painful fashion.  But I had exams and I took them.  Well, let me tell you I wrote some of the best essays of my life with my head throbbing.  Maybe part of the reason was that I wanted to get finished and get the hell out of there and back to bed, but I felt as if my brain focused with laser precision and cut through all the crap.

What did I learn from this?  I don’t know, but I think I won’t use this blog post, because I do not like it (oh, I do NOT remember writing that part.  Oh crap).

And I wish my wrist would stop hurting.

My wrist is feeling better, for any kind readers who were concerned.  Probably a stupid pulled muscle or something.  I feel a little silly for having made such a fuss about it, but as I wrote earlier, it did hurt like the proverbial son of a bitch.  I’m wondering if my original assessment of not liking and thus not publishing this post was not the right one.  However, for reasons I have been talking about for weeks (remember, Much Ado About Nothing?), I now only have time to hit “Publish.”  Happy Friday, everyone.

Under the heading, It Takes So Little To Please Some People, I like the way the title of the play is not italicized when it falls in a paragraph that is all italicized.

 

Next Time with the View

Today I shall give a brief, slightly belated shout-out to Cucina Berto in Frankfort, NY, where Steven and I recently enjoyed lunch. We had heard about the place some time ago from Mohawk Valley Living. I’m thinking we just do not eat out often enough, or we would have eaten there sooner, because, yum.

Cucina Berto is located at Frankfort Marina, so there is a lovely view of the water from the tables on the deck.  However, we opted to sit inside, because it was raining.  Inside seating is more limited, but we found a seat with no problem.  The waitress brought us menus.  We both asked for coffee and a glass of water.

We got cheeseburgers.  Steven got fries with his, which he graciously shared with me.  I’m trying to lose weight so should stay away from such things, but sometimes I cannot resist.  They were very good french fries.

I noticed some good-sounding breakfast items on the menu.  Cucina Berto serves breakfast all day, so I can return at any time to try those.  I probably will.

Cucina Berto is located at 143 Marina Park Dr., Frankfort, NY, phone number 315-717-7724.  For more information you can visit their website at https://cucinaberto.wordpress.com/.  You can also Like them on Facebook.

 

Much Ado at the Keyboard

Let’s see how this goes.  I am going to do all my internet stuff on my tablet,  thus forcing myself to type using the stylus and giving my left hand a rest.  As I have mentioned before, it is very frustrating. But I must say, sometimes the computer’s suggestions for the next word can be amusing.  For example, they suggested “easy” or “good” when I wanted “frustrated.”

I am pecking (can’t really call it typing) this in the morning  (I know it would be shorter, but I just don’t like calling morning a.m.)  (the parenthetical comments also take their toll), because I have an earlier call for rehearsal for Much Ado About Nothing  tonight.

We have a performance Friday at Caroga Lake so are rehearsing there.  I am very fortunate to be getting a ride with my dear friend, Kim.

Full disclosure:  Halfway through the previous paragraph, I stopped pecking and went to work.  Now I am back on my laptop, but I am typing with my right hand and only using my left for the occasional shift.  It is, as you may imagine, still frustrating, and without the added interest of the tablet trying to guess what word I want next. Perhaps my dear readers are trying to guess what sort of post I will make next.  I can only spend so much time whining about my keyboard woes, after all.

In the meantime, I have to get ready for rehearsal.  I hope to see you all tomorrow.

 

Once Again, I’ve Said Too Much

This is not exactly a blogger’s sick day, but I don’t know what else to call it.  The stupidest thing happened.  Oh well, maybe not the STUPIDEST, but stupid enough to call it so, and already I am typing too much.  This morning I got a mysterious pain in my forearm, just a little above my wrist.  I didn’t worry about it, because it didn’t hurt that bad.  I just went to work and went about my business, because, you know, I work for a living.

And it kept hurting.  Off and on, with gusts of real pain followed by lengths of irritation, interspersed with increasingly shorter periods of not feeling bad at all.  I don’t think it was work related, because, well, I wasn’t working all that hard (don’t judge me), and I figured it would go away eventually.  However, I thought it would be a good idea to just mention it to my boss.  You see, if it was work-related, and it turned into something serious, and I hadn’t told anybody, I could get in big trouble.  So I always err on the side of saying something, even at the expense of feeling stupid. I know, it is not an unusual feeling for me.

My boss sent me down to the nurse.  She emphasized that she could not diagnose nor even force me to do anything, but she gave me an ice pack and some ibuprofen and suggested the following:  I should continue to ice and take ibuprofen as needed and wear a wrist brace, which she also gave me, when working.  And I should rest it.  I mentioned that I type a blog every night, and she told me I shouldn’t do that.  She said I could type a very short one, while wearing the wrist brace, and explain that I had an arm problem and would not be blogging for the rest of the week.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  Not blog every day?  Say it ain’t so!  Still, one does not want to aggravate an injury, or whatever it is.  And I don’t want anyone at work reading my blog and getting mad at me if my arm still hurts (oh yeah, like any of them reads my blog! I have such an ego).

So this is all of today’s post.  It is longer than I had intended, and perhaps longer than recommended, but I’m even leaving some stuff out.  What can I do?  I know, sign off before I up my word count even more.  Don’t tell the nurse, but I intend to post again tomorrow.  Perhaps I will attempt to type one handed.  Then there could be no possible objection.

 

But Was It A Triumphant Run?

We interrupt All Much Ado All The Time for a running commentary.  If I can write one.

Our production of Much Ado About Nothing faced an interruption of its own when we postponed “Much Ado at the Zoo” from today till next Monday, Aug. 8.  So it is an unexpected night off for me and my fellow cast-members.  Ah, a chance to study my lines, press my costume, do a load of laundry, spend time with my husband.  And run.

I did not run on Sunday, because when I got up it was pouring rain.  I don’t usually run in the rain (although I got rained on plenty later on at rehearsal, as I may have mentioned in yesterday’s post).  I can possibly run before Tuesday’s rehearsal but probably not Wednesday’s.  In short, it would be a good idea to run today.  I spent the day thinking about it, hoping my body would just automatically do it instead of letting my mind talk me out of it.

But, oh, was I tired by the end of the day!  I had my Monday backache, my feet hurt as always, and I was inclined as usual to be a big fat baby about it.  Nevertheless, once I had taken Spunky for his afternoon business meeting, I got on my running clothes.  As I struggled into my sports bras, I felt I was getting a more strenuous workout than the run was going to be.  Don’t bleat “TMI!” at me!  Ladies, I appeal to you, is it not a dreadful experience, wrestling a small spandex harness over a sweaty body?  I was out of breath when I finally triumphed.

My run was less of a triumph.  As I started down the sidewalk, I could tell my body was not going to surprise me with athletic prowess.  Oh, well, I guess it never surprises me with what you might call prowess.  Still, sometimes I feel like I’m rocking it.  Today I felt more like a hunk of rock.  And I could hear the ice cream truck. That damn ice cream truck!  It plays the same tune over and over again, mocking me and sometimes stalking me.  Yeah, I’ll just stop running and eat some FATTENING ice cream! But I don’t have any money in my running clothes. AUGH!

I saw the truck coming down German Street.  I cleverly ran toward it so we would be headed in opposite directions.  Ah ha ha, I triumph!  The truck turned down my street.  I could still hear it perfectly.  It would probably turn at the corner and drive parallel to me.  Like I said, stalking me.  I reflected that at least it would make something silly to add to the blog post.

As I continued to run down German Street, my legs did not feel any better about the exercise.  I kept going anyways.  I even had a couple of very short sprints across the street when cars waved me by.  Still, a sprint is a sprint, right?  I waved thank you to all the cars that stopped for me.  Soon I realized I did not hear the ice cream truck.  I savored the silence.  I was surprised when it lasted for the rest of my run.  True, the run was short, but that ice cream truck can be persistent.

I can’t say I was happy I ran, but I will admit to feeling a certain grim satisfaction.  I recited my lines from the play while I was in the shower.  As I type this post, I am waiting for my husband to get home so I can spend a little time with him.  I don’t know that I will do any of the other chores I mentioned earlier.  But at least I made my blog post.

 

Rainy Wrist to Forehead Sunday

My original title was “Lousy Sunday Afternoon.”  You know, because yesterday was “Lazy Saturday Afternoon.”  But once I typed it, I just didn’t feel like being that way.  Steven had suggested “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head.”  I typed that in, wrote the first three sentences of this post, then thought of what I used.  Unless I change my mind before I hit publish, in which case I will change the preceding sentence.

I am back from rehearsal for Much Ado About Nothing.  We met at the Utica Zoo, where we have a performance Aug. 8 as part of Utica Monday Night.  It was raining.  I brought an umbrella but had missed the text or email (technology mystifies me) that said we were not doing costumes.  I was in my Second Watch costume.  I took off the shirt (I had on a camisole underneath) and my black socks, changing my clogs for the sandals I wear as the Friar.  Then I put on some earrings I had in my purse.  As long as I wasn’t supposed to be in costume.

The rain got heavier and lighter as rehearsal started.  Some of us stood on stage with our umbrellas, acting.  We felt all method in one scene, where a character mentioned it was drizzling rain.  A few zoo patrons were also braving the weather.  We cordially invited them all back tomorrow.  My main problem is there was no dry place to sit down when I did not have to be on stage.  Also, I was pretty sure the stuff in my bag were getting wet, although that seemed better than standing there holding a heavy bag for hours.  I was not sorry   when rehearsal was over.  It is certainly more pleasant to rehearse in more agreeable weather.  Still, the show must go on.

The play seems to be coming together very well.  I cordially invite all my readers to our performance at the Utica Zoo.  It is at 6 p.m., free with zoo admission.  For details look for the Facebook event.  And have a Happy Rainy Sunday.

One small note:  This is an updated post.  When written earlier today, the event was scheduled for tomorrow, Aug. 1.  It has since been rescheduled to the 8th due to weather concerns. Sorry for any confusion.

 

Lazy Saturday Afternoon

Yes, it is another Slacker Saturday post.  I decided this after I typed in four or eight possible leads (who was counting?) and immediately backspaced over them.  Don’t judge me.

Our dear little doggy, Spunky, got us up prior to 5:30 this morning.  That was at least later than our usual 4:30 rising time, so I counted my blessings and put on my running clothes.  After accompanying Spunkman (as Steven likes to call him) on his morning business meeting, I went for a run.  It was not as long a run as I have taken, but I petted two dogs, went up something of a hill, and reached the I Can Rock This stage, although briefly.

I had rehearsal for Much Ado About Nothing at 10 a.m. in Little Falls.  That’s always fun.  I just love community theatre.  You meet the nicest people.  Also, I am an incurable ham (get it?  Because ham is a cured meat?  Well, I thought it was a play on words).

After rehearsal, Steven and I had some discussion of what to do, but eventually we went out to lunch at Cucina Berto in Frankfort, and grocery shopping at Hannaford in Herkimer.  When we got home, we took our doggy for a walk around the block (that is usually about as far as our little friend wants to go). Now we are wondering what to watch on television, if anything.

As you can see, I have indulged in a number of bloggable activities today: run, rehearsal, lunch, shopping, walk.  I could even write about How I Can’t Write a Post Today, given the number of starts I erased before I started.  Instead, I offer… what I just wrote.  Happy Saturday, everyone.

P.S.  Steven suggested the title.

 

Left Lame for LiFT

Last night I drove to the Utica Zoo for a dress rehearsal of Much Ado About Nothing, the play I am in with LiFT Theatre Company.  We are doing a performance there Aug. 1 as part of Utica Monday Night.

I rarely drive to Utica any more and still more rarely to that section of it, but I was fairly certain I knew my way.  I got on 5S and took the Culver Street exit.  I got a definite emotional flashback as I drove over the Boilermaker 15K Road Race Start line.  I did not run the race this year but I’m thinking I will in 2017.  I was pleased to note Boilermaker landmarks (or at least things I remember noticing the times I ran) and pictured the spectators cheering as thousands of runners surged past them.  Oh, the press of humanity!  Oh, the thought of the long run ahead!  The excitement, the nerves…  I did mention I was having a flashback, didn’t I?

I also noticed Proctor Park, a place I have only driven by.  I have often thought I would like to go for a run along that path, only I’m not sure where is a good place to park. No doubt I could find that out.  That will be something to pursue when my running routine needs a shake-up.  As I drove by the National Guard Armory, I had flashbacks to my short stint in the guard after I got out of the army.  I remember a fellow who worked for the guard full time said his kids called it The Castle.

I started to get a little nervous when I got on the Parkway.  It was not that I was having more flashbacks, but I was not completely sure where to go.  I thought the zoo was a simple left hand turn and all I had to do was look for signs, but I have been known to mess up the simplest of directions.

While stopped at a stoplight I realized I ought to be in the left lane.  Glancing to my left, I thought I recognized a fellow cast member.  Perfect!  After the light changed I got in the lane behind him. Now all I had to do was follow!  Unless I was mistaken about who it was, I reflected, second-guessing myself as usual.  I watched for signs, just to hedge my bets.  The signs were readily located, and the car carrying my suspected cast-mate turned left where I saw I was supposed to.  A large arch reading “Utica Zoo” told me I was in the right spot. Yay!

Surprisingly, the parking lots were almost full.  I later found out it was a Special Night for some employer or other, so the zoo was full of patrons.  I saw a couple of spots but continued to follow my friend.  As I pulled in next to him, I hoped it was the fellow I thought it was, and not some random young man who might think I was a cougar type stalking him.  I guess I am old enough to be one of them there cougars, although I am not at all inclined to.  As regular readers know, I have a perfectly nice husband already.

But getting back to the subject of second guessing, I am now second guessing this blog post.  Who writes an entire blog post about driving from Herkimer to Utica?  What am I thinking, that every minute aspect of my life is fascinating?  I often say that there are worse things than having an ego the size of Manhattan, but surely there is a limit to all things (and I’ll call you Shirley if I want to).

On the other hand, this is Lame Post Friday.  Maybe I can make a play on words with “lame” and “lane,” since I was talking about getting into the left lane.  I have already used “Unsafe Lame Change.”  Also, I believe I changed lanes safely in this instance.  I also believe it is time to get on with enjoying my Friday and my weekend.  I have two rehearsals.  Perhaps I could write about them and not just getting to them.  Happy Friday, everyone.

LiFT will present Much Ado About Nothing at the Utica Zoo on Monday, Aug. 1 at 6 p.m.  The show is free with admission to the zoo.  For more information, visit LiFT’s Facebook page.

 

Today is Thursday, Right?

For my Non-Sequitur Thursday post, I thought I would address how my Wuss-out Wednesday post was actually published on Tuesday.

I suppose the shortest explanation would be one of my favorites:  Shit happens.  However, that would make for a rather short blog post, and it doesn’t really explain anything.  A slightly longer explanation might be that I’m not very bright or that I was awfully tired. Explanations are so tiresome.

The funny thing is, because I have never fixed the time thingy on my WordPress account, the post has Wednesday’s date, July 27.  I suppose I could just stay still about it and hope nobody notices, but at least one of my Facebook friends already did.  Also, this seemed like a good thing to write about for Non-Sequitur Thursday.

It is really difficult to write anything these days.  Is it the hot, humid weather?  Menopausal brain fog?  My general sadness and discouragement?  I think all of the above are factors.

Of course, one must persevere.  I learned that from running.  One observation I feel bound to make, however, is that it is much easier to persevere when running than when writing.  Really, running is so much easier!  All you have to do is move your feet.  OK, sometimes my body does not want to cooperate.  But it has never just sat down on the sidewalk and refused to move.  Once I start running, I can almost always persevere.  With writing, not so much.

I know, according to this thinking, I ought to be running marathons by now.  We all know that is not the case.  In my defense, I remind you that I did say “Once I start running.”  Getting started is half the battle.  I’m sure some of you are gearing up to chirp, “Well, that’s true of writing, too.”  Sometimes it is.  But sometimes not so much.  Sometimes I get started and can’t get much more than a sentence or two.  Sometimes I am going great guns when suddenly, I’m not.

For example, this blog post.  I started out without too much difficulty, I kept going for several paragraphs, stringing over 300 words together, and suddenly…  I am not only inclined to stop, I’m wondering if I should erase this whole thing and start over again.  Unfortunately, I can’t do that.  I have to get ready for rehearsal for Much Ado About Nothing.  We’re meeting at the zoo tonight, and I have to drive myself there. After getting my costumes together and looking over my lines again.  Sorry, no more time to blog!