Category Archives: humor

Break a Lame Leg, Me

Posted on April 27, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

I just posted on Facebook that I am brain dead.  This is no way to be on opening night for Morning’s at Seven at Ilion Little Theatre.

Oh for heavens’ sake, can’t I even manage a Friday Lame Post?

It is a dramatic moment.

When in doubt, throw in a picture.  Usually I use a picture of a monster, but here is a shot from last night’s dress rehearsal, used without permission.  I don’t think the lady that took it will mind, but I will ask her when I see her tonight.  This is the whole cast.  We are only all on stage a few times in the play, which is just as well, because Ilion Little Theatre’s stage is small.  The whole theatre is small, although I prefer to call it cozy and intimate.

The fatty upper arm in the foreground on the left is mine.

Here is a backstage shot from last night, showing us getting ready and frantically studying our scripts.  I have not frantically studied my script today, but I have time.  Perhaps I have allowed myself a little too much time.  I took a half a vacation day at work so I would have time for a nap.  I had a nice long one which I enjoyed very much.  Then I had a cup of coffee, which I also enjoyed very much.  I have been dithering ever since.

However, at least I made my blog post, such as it is.  Local readers may like to come see the show.  It is April 26, 27, and 28, and May 3, 4 and 5, 7:30 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays, 2 p.m. Sundays, doors open a half hour before curtain.  Tickets are available at the door (till sold out, dare I hope?) or through the website, www.ilionlittletheatre.org.

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“Shapewear” Is So A Word, Computer!

Posted on April 26, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

Breathing is not overrated.  That is what I tell myself at times like this.  You see, when I get stressed, I forget to breathe.  Then I take a deep breath and it’s like, “Oh yeah, oxygen.”

When I was in the army learning how to run, and I ran into difficulties (see what I did there?), I would tell myself, “Breathing is overrated.”  Eventually I learned how to run and breathe, but first I learned how far I can actually run while gasping and choking in a most unbecoming fashion.  However, this is not a post about running.  I would probably feel a good deal less stressed if I had taken the time for a short run or walk.  However, that ship sailed, to resort to cliche (it is less of a cliche if you point out that you are using a cliche; another technique is to add the word “proverbial,”as in “that proverbial ship has sailed.  Then you sound all self-aware and post-ironic) (but I digress).

Another deep breath, which I need after that last paragraph.  I am working through my last-minute fluster attack before leaving for dress rehearsal for Morning’s at Seven, the play I am in at Ilion Little Theatre.  I believe I have mentioned it once or twice.

After work, and a convoluted drive back to Herkimer, due to congestion and construction, I stopped at the store to get the pantyhose and underwear I mentioned earlier.  I am a little worried, because the only pantyhose (they are, in fact, tights, but let us not quibble over semantics) in the color I wanted (off-white) were control top. YES, I have a top to control.  However, when I attempt to do so, I experience extreme torture for very little result.  What a cruel hoax shapewear is!

And look at me, 300 words and I’m not late.  Yet.  Happy Thursday, everyone.

I wonder if wine is overrated.

 

 

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Short Post Before Coffee

Posted on April 25, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

Last night I did not have rehearsal.  I fell asleep on the couch then went to bed embarrassingly early.  I will not give a time.  In the interests of accuracy, I did not sleep particularly well once I was actually in bed, but I slept on and off and was quite grateful to do so.  I have never dealt well with limited sleep, even in my young(er) and (more) foolish days.

In any case, I am up prior to 5 a.m., waiting for the coffee maker to drip. Yesterday I took a cup too early and it was bitter.  I require caffeine.  We shall see if I am able to make a blog post without it.

My alarm pulled me out of a very annoying dream.  I was not enjoying the dream at all, yet I was devastated to be dragged from such deep sleep.  I won’t go into details, but we were rehearsing then filming a kiss.  I was either in heaven or hell (the filmmaker was not clear on which), kissing this person I was not supposed to be kissing.  It was complicated, and it wasn’t even that good of a kiss.

In the meantime, I fell asleep last night before doing laundry, so I have to run someplace and purchase underwear and pantyhose for tonight’s rehearsal.  Oh well, I guess I could wear crappy underwear and the wrong color pantyhose.  Perhaps I would have time to do laundry, because I can put the underwear in the drier.  Only I can’t put the pantyhose in the drier, and I need more pantyhose anyways.  I could use a few new pairs of undies as well, come to think of it.

And this is what happens when I try to make a blog post before having coffee.  I babble on about dreams and underwear.  I know some of you are screaming, “TMI!” an expression regular readers know I hate.  I hope at least you had some coffee.

 

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Short Post Before Rehearsal

Posted on April 24, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

Hello, and Welcome to All Morning’s at Seven All The Time.  I am posting (in haste) before rehearsal, and I am quite flustered.  Our rehearsal last night lasted late (for me), and when I got home I couldn’t sleep.  Eventually I did.  Till then I just laid quietly and rested.  Not tossing and turning can go a long way, I find.

OK, so one paragraph into All Morning’s at Seven All The Time and I have talked more about my bad night’s sleep than the play.  Is anybody surprised?  Is this not the sort of nonsense we are by this time accustomed? Or are there new readers present who have no idea what to expect and are subsequently confused?  Where am I going with this?

So we have two more rehearsals of the play before opening night on Friday.  Dress rehearsal on Thursday is, in fact, more of a performance, because we will have people in the audience.  Of course I am nervous!  Who wouldn’t be?  Yes, I have been in many, many plays.  I am always nervous until I actually get on stage and start talking.  Then it’s fun!

Morning’s at Seven will be presented at Ilion Little Theatre April 26, 27, 28 and May 3, 4 and 5.  Curtain times are 7:30 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays, 2 p.m. Sundays.  For more information you can visit the Ilion Little Theatre website at www.ilionlittletheatre.org.

 

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I Need My Monsters Today

Posted on April 23, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

I thought I could make a quick Monstrous Monday post before segueing into All Mornings At Seven All The Time on Tuesday.  Opening night is Friday.  I am worried rehearsals this week will last late, late, but you’ll have that.

Full disclosure:  I am experiencing a sort of paralysis.  Of the mind and the body.  One of the symptoms, apparently, is to write in incomplete sentences, a style in which I do not usually indulge.  Or do I?  Perhaps I just don’t notice.  Maybe that is another symptom.  The fact is, I keep typing stuff in and backspacing over it, or not even typing it in as I think of it.  I sit here with clenched-teeth determination NOT erasing this paragraph.

“You were looking for me?”

Once again, I look to Nosferatu for help.  Who could be uncheered by a vampire?

“A nice cup of brew and you’ll soon be feeling more the thing.”

Here’s a truly cheerful ghoul, and the cheerful thought that Halloween is coming.  Eventually.  Well, obviously, I celebrate Halloween all year.  I believe I am not the only mortal to do so.

He seems to be hard at work.

I have no idea what movie, if any, this is from.  It was in my Media Library, so I must have downloaded it from somewhere sometime.  Similarly, I have no idea how I got to be over 200 words.  I’ll talk about the play I’m in tomorrow.  And eventually, I will try to start making better blog posts.  In the meantime, may your Mondays NOT be monstrous.

 

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Now I Can Watch Snapped

Posted on April 22, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

Hello, and welcome to the Easter Edition of Wrist to Forehead Sunday.  It feels wrong to be swooning onto a chaise lounge,  posed dramatically with the back of one wrist on my forehead on this holiest of Christian holidays.  Full disclosure: I do not own a chaise lounge, and I am sitting on my couch,  typing one letter at a time into my Tablet with the stylus, the way I did yesterday.  What is it with this extreme reluctance to sit up straight in a dining room chair and type with both hands into a laptop like a normal writer?

That was a long paragraph .  Anyways, I don’t want to be making a blog post at all; I want to watch Snapped and crochet.

I had a dream last night in which I had reached the end of my rope.  I kept saying, “I have reached overload.  I cannot do anything else.”  And I felt horrible.   I felt, in fact, like swooning onto a chaise lounge etc. etc.

When I considered the dream this morning (I know, it doesn’t take a psychological genius to figure out where it came from), all I could think was , “For heaven’s sake,  I don’t have that much on my plate!  Other people have a LOT more to deal with.”  In short, I advised me to get over myself.  I offer myself that same advice now.

“Get over yourself , Cindy.  And watch a little Snapped.”

I hope the rest of you are having a lovely day.

 

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Why Not Add Monsters?

Posted on April 21, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

It’s going to be a Slacker Saturday post, and I may not even pep it up with monster pictures.  Oh, who am I kidding?

I would probably take it as a compliment.

As long as I’m doing a foolish post, why not add monsters ?  Come to think of it, that might make a good title.

I am sitting on my couch , typing into my Tablet, one letter at a time with the stylus,  and as usual getting a kick out of the predictive text function.  I felt pretty okay for most of the day, particularly this morning,  when it was raining.  But then I took a nap on the couch and woke up with a headache .  I’m drinking water,  in case dehydration is a factor.  At least the water tastes good .

“Do you come here often?”

Speaking of hydration… here’s a guy who’s all wet.

I did go adventuring with my friend Kim earlier. It would be a good idea to write about that, but I just can’t do it with a headache .  Sorry.  I didn’t mean to whine.   Then again,  I do always say, go with your strengths.

I thought mentioning candy would be appropriate, since tomorrow is Easter.

I actually clicked on Joan Crawford accidentally when I was scrolling through my Media Library looking for one more monster.  I see I am over 200 words.   I say that’s okay for a Slacker Saturday .

 

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Lame Sick Day, But Here Are Some Flowers

Posted on April 20, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

I keep telling myself,  it’s Lame Post Friday, the blog post does not have to be stellar. Well, it certainly is not going to be. For one reason, I am on my Tablet,  typing one letter at a time with the stylus.  I’m just not up to sitting at the dining room table, where the laptop now permanently resides (never mind why; long story,  not very interesting).

All this by way of introduction to another blogger’s sick day.  Yes, I had great plans to make two posts and be caught up again, but it is not going to happen.  I’m going to whine for a couple of paragraphs about how crappy I feel, hit Publish, and drive on.

But, by way of interjecting a somewhat more positive note,  here is a picture I took earlier,  before the crappiness completely overcame me.

Aren’t they pretty?

I didn’t think we would get any crocuses, because we never got all the leaves raked up before the snow fell last fall.  I was delighted to see these.  They are in our front yard.  It started to rain before I got a chance to check the back.

I  don’t know what is wrong with me.  I can only hope it is allergies,  so I am not contagious.   I only wish it was the kind of illness where I could make a better blog post.

 

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Post Rehearsal Post

Posted on April 19, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

Here is a rare post-rehearsal post, because I do not have to go to work tomorrow, so I do not feel I should hurry to bed (I don’t think that’s a run-on sentence, but I am too lazy to diagram it and see).  I spent the day at work assuring myself I felt Less Crappy.  Yes, I used capitals.  I do that sometimes when I am telling myself things.  Don’t you?  If not, I recommend you try it.  It sometimes has an impact.

It is probably clear by now that I have not much to say but am merely posting because I can, and to keep from being two posts behind.  If I make two posts tomorrow, a feat well within the realm of possibility, I shall be caught up.  Blogwise, anyways.  As far as my life goes, no promises.

Regular readers may remember that I am in rehearsals for Morning’s at Seven at Ilion Little Theatre.  It is a charming play first presented in 1938.  The plot concerns four sisters, three of whom live right next door to each other.  I grew up with three sisters (um, four girls, counting me), so I feel I can understand the characters.  Of course, it is not an exact parallel, because I also have a brother, which the sisters in the play do not.  Also, in the play, the youngest sister is the maiden aunt, who lives with one of the sisters and her husband.  Also, one of the sisters has a 40-year-old son, who has been engaged for five years and just can’t seem to commit.

I don’t think I am describing  the play very well.  It is actually very funny, touching and sweet. I totally recommend local readers come and see it.

Performances are April 26, 27, and May 3 and 4 at 7:30 p.m., and April 28 and May 5 at 2 p.m., at Ilion Little Theatre, 13 Remington Ave, Ilion.  For more information or for reservations, you can all 315-894-3203, or go to ilionlittletheatre.org.

 

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Wuss Out Sick Day

Posted on April 18, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

How Wuss-out Wednesday can I get without getting another blog post behind?  Taking a Blogger’s Sick Day would be pretty wussy, I think.  I feel AWFUL!!! I don’t know if it is a cold or allergies, but there is not much I can do right now except feel awful.  Well, I can also spare a little me to feel stupid for being such a big fat baby about what is really a trifling illness.  And to feel guilty about not making a better blog post.  But that’s about it.

“What’s in this drink?”

I thought I would throw in a picture, so this could be also a kind of a Wordless Wednesday.  Doesn’t she look a little like she’s taking some nasty medicine?  I don’t think she is.  It is the lady from The Atomic Brain, one of my favorite cheesy movies.

It’s kind of a cheesy grin, no?

A theatre friend made this frame over a picture of me when I was playing Roxalana Druse at Ilion Little Theatre.  She killed her abusive husband and was hung for it, in case you did not remember the famous case.  Art Wilks, who played my husband in Roxy, is in Morning’s at Seven with me now, but not as my husband.  I find the picture appropriate for today, because when I am feeling particularly ill (you know how these illnesses get better or worse in waves), I keep saying I want to die. Of course I do not. I might miss something.

Here’s a cheery grin for you!

Looking to end on a lighter note, I include this picture of a nice little vampire, in the Halloween pot my friend Marsha sent me.

Now I am going to drink some hot tea with lemon and honey.  Perhaps you will join me tomorrow for Non-Sequitur Thursday.

 

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