Category Archives: humor

Tired Tuesday Masquerading as Monstrous Monday

Here I am, back to my usual hasty post before rehearsal.  Since I missed this week’s Monstrous Monday post, perhaps I could indulge in a monster picture or two.

Kafka knew from monsters.

I open with this, because I have not been writing enough lately.  I think I would make a pretty scary monster, so maybe there is an upside to not writing.

I don’t remember the Wasp Woman flying in the movie.

Here is a good female monster.  She got this way from trying too hard to stay young and beautiful.  There may be a moral to that tale, or an opening for a discussion of the unreasonable demands society places on women.  I am naturally not up to such a discussion at present.  This post is veering into Tired Tuesday territory.

Monsters and coffee: two of my favorite things.

Since we’re talking about lady monsters, I thought I’d throw in Deadly Women, one of my favorite guilty pleasure shows.  I have not seen it in a while.  I’ll have to look for it.  I just can’t get enough murder and mayhem.

Full disclosure: I do not own this Blu-ray, or indeed, any blu-rays.

I was looking for The Bride of Frankenstein to round out the post, but I think The Brain That Wouldn’t Die works just as well.

So now I am only one blog post behind.  Let’s see how long it takes me to catch up.  Full disclosure:  it may not happen tomorrow.  After rehearsal tonight, I may not be rising at 3:30 like I did this morning.

 

Lame Excuse, and It’s Not Even Friday!

So I found out that if I go two days without making a blog post, the world does not come to an end.  Well, we knew that, and anyways it is a cliche.  My brain is not firing on all cylinders (cue unkind remarks about my brain’s general lack of cylindrical capacity).

My laptop clicked off as I typed that last sentence.  My husband, Steven, never has any problems like that.  He gets on and the computer stays on as long as he likes.  It must be operator error, but I’m damned if I know what I’m doing wrong.  But I digress.

Digress from what, I ask myself.  I got up early to make a blog post but I have no idea what to write about and, as I said, very little brain to write it with.  I’ll just mention that it was not a problem to get up early since I went to bed practically as soon as I got home yesterday afternoon.  Actually, I ate something, took a nap, got up and took a hot, hot shower with the water pounding on the back of my neck (it felt GOOOOD!), and got dressed for rehearsal.  Then I realized I could not possibly drag myself to rehearsal, much less actually rehearse.  I emailed a lame excuse to the director and stage manager, and went back to bed.  I think it helped.

And the computer clicked off again, just as I typed in that last sentence and was composing the next one in my head.  I was about to say and now I am offering a lame excuse to my blog readers.  By my new rules for myself, I must make two posts on two days now, and then I will be caught up again.  I hope my brain returns soon.

 

A Labor of Lame

I have about 12 minutes to make a blog post before the next episode of Dateline: Secrets Uncovered on Oxygen.  I want to sit on my couch and knit!  But I do not want to make this post tomorrow morning. I want to make it now.  So here I am.  I originally wanted to have a blog to get myself to write every day.  Alas, as Truman Capote once said, “That’s not writing, that’s typing.”  I have applied that quote to this blog before.

I just got back from the last rehearsal for Murder by the Book, the murder mystery we are doing tomorrow at Morning Star Methodist Church in Ilion, NY (see Wednesday’s post for more information).  Last night I had rehearsal for Morning’s at Seven, the full-length play I am in at Ilion Little Theatre.  I have had rehearsal for one or the other all week, feeling grateful that I did not have any days of two rehearsals (but only because Monday’s second rehearsal got cancelled).  I am rehearsaled out! I know, I know, that should be “rehearsed out.”  Sometimes the grammatically correct expression just doesn’t feel right (feel write?).

Have I mentioned yet that today is Lame Post Friday?  Or did you perhaps catch on by the title?  And I see I am over 200 words, just in the introductory paragraphs.  Do I dare hit Publish on this meager nonsense?  YES! Happy Friday, folks!  Let’s all hope for a better post on Saturday.

 

William Castle, Can You Help Me Now?

So there I was, groping for a brain cell left alive in my head to make at least a Non-Sequitur Thursday post.  Nothing was happening.  In desperation I went to Facebook to a page about William Castle: Godfather of Schlock and downloaded a few pictures.  This could work.

“What do you mean, you can’t of a blog post? That’s scary!”

I love William Castle, producer of such classics of House on Haunted Hill (1959) and Straitjacket (1964).  I wonder when I will have time to sit down and watch movies again.  I have rehearsal again tonight. In fact, I should probably be studying my lines instead of typing in what I am afraid is turning out to be a singularly foolish blog post.

“Who wants a piece?”

Maybe I could just relax and have a piece of cake.  Nah, that would mess up my slow progress toward my weight-loss goals.  If I could get somebody to chase me with an axe, I would be motivated to start running again.  Just a suggestion.

He was a great director.

Full disclosure:  I have not seen all that many William Castle movies.   I’ll have to work on it.

“You weren’t going to make a post about William Castle and not include me, were you?”

 

It’s a Mystery!

This will be a kind of a Wordless Wednesday.  I had a rehearsal for Murder by the Book, the murder mystery we are putting on at Morning Star Methodist Church this Saturday, April 6.  I brought my Tablet and took a few pictures.  I think we are a suspicious-looking bunch.

All eyes turn toward Jeanetta Robespierre, the authoress of many murder mysteries, but of a real life murder? Hmmmm….

The setting of the murder mystery is the gala release party of Jeanetta Robespierre’s new murder mystery thriller, An Ill Wind in Ilion.  However, the festivities are interrupted by the untimely demise of… well, I don’t want to give away any major plot points.  For one reason, I did not include a spoiler alert.

Tensions are high! Accusations fly!

But is romance also in the air?

 

And here is a full cast shot.

The rehearsal went pretty well.  My actors are doing a marvelous job.  I think the audience will be highly entertained.

Tickets are $20 for Roast Pork Dinner and Show.  Doors open at 5 p.m. Saturday, April 6, at Morning Star Methodist Church, 36 Second St., Ilion, NY.  For reservations and tickets call the church office at 315-894-4093.  Tickets will also be available at the door.

Well, That Didn’t Work Out

I had such a good plan for after work today.  I was going to come home and put in a load of laundry, so I would be certain to have a good pair of socks to wear to work tomorrow.  While the laundry ran, I would make guacamole for tomorrow’s lunch (I love a guacamole sammich).  Since I did not intend to use a recipe, I could then make a Tasty Tuesday blog post.  I had plenty of time before my 6:30 rehearsal (for Morning’s at Seven at Ilion Little Theatre).  IT!  COULD! WORK!

That last bit was a quote from Young Frankenstein, by the way, a very excellent and quotable movie.  But I digress.  I also wasted about ten minutes looking for a picture of Young Frankenstein I thought I had in my Media Library.  I am losing it,

As you may have guessed from the above paragraph, IT! DID! NOT! WORK!  Well, I got the laundry in the washer. I got the guacamole made (I don’t know that it was really guacamole, but it involved avocados, so I’ll call it that).  Then the dithering began.  I checked my email.  I messaged a couple of people on Facebook.  I made myself a sandwich for supper (it wasn’t good enough to rate the term “sammich”).  I looked at the newspaper while I ate it.  I was still hungry.

Regular readers know I am trying to lose weight, and I am experiencing some minor success.  It has not even been all that painful.  Therefore, I am completely flabbergasted that I found myself sitting on my couch, mowing down ginger snaps dipped in whipped topping. Oh, was I shoveling those suckers into the old pie-hole.  Once again, I have to say, What the Hell, me?

I put the laundry in the drier and went upstairs to take my shower, utterly disgusted with myself.  To add insult to injury, when I was getting dressed for rehearsal, I found a pair of socks perfectly suitable to wear to work tomorrow.  I could have skipped the damn laundry!

So here’s my stupid blog post.  As I read what I typed, it does not seem the afternoon was as disastrous as it felt (full disclosure:  still feels).  Never mind. I am going to call this a Bad Attituesday, hit Publish, and drive on, because I have to get ready for rehearsal.  Is it really only Tuesday?

 

It Will Probably Be a Monstrous Monday

Here’s a funny thing: in the past I have been posting at 4:30(ish) in the morning because I am posting late for the day before. Today I am posting early for TODAY!  I call that progress.  You see, I got up early for a different reason (not worth recounting), so I have a few minutes extra time, which I will not have tonight, so…

Still, this isn’t going to be much of a post.  I cannot completely disrupt my morning routine, or this will be an even more Monstrous Monday than usual.  I don’t even know how far down my Media Library I will scroll to find a few monster pictures to post.  Lame Post Monday?  Let’s not call it that; it only reminds me how far away Friday seems (which is not a completely bad thing, since I have a murder mystery on Saturday I am still getting ready for).

“You’re just getting up? It’s almost my bedtime!”

I’m thinking vampires hate summer, because they must spend more time hiding from the sun.  Then again, maybe they like the extra sleep.  I do not purport to know how a vampire feels, although I do not rule out guessing for the sake of fiction.

“Put my head back, you monster!”

Not exactly a monster, but two horror movie icons, Peter Lorre and Vincent Price (yes, I know I did not need to tell some of you).  It is an appropriate picture for me, because this week I may be running around like the proverbial chicken with its head cut off (writer’s trick:  you can use a cliche if you insert the words “the proverbial” in there; it’s kind of like “sic” but more hip) (or do I flatter myself?).

I know just how he feels. Come to think of it, I know pretty much how she feels, too.

A splash of color and a big ape to close this week’s Monstrous Monday post.  I gotta run now; I’m missing my Local on the Ones.  I feel more secure once I’ve heard the weather report.

 

Post Rehearsal Pictures

Our director, directing one of our actors.

I promised pictures of rehearsal then almost forgot to take any.  These few shots were taken at the end of our rehearsal. I guess I could not have taken many during rehearsal,  because I was on stage most of the time.

This lady is really good in her part.

The rehearsal was for Morning`s at Seven, the play I’m in at Ilion Little Theatre.  It was a short but useful rehearsal.  Only three cast members were there, so it would be a good idea if I bring my Tablet to future rehearsals as well.

And here is our stage manager, you know, stage managing.

The play is to be presented April 26, 27, 28, May 3, 4, and 5, at 7:30 p.m. on Fridays and Saturdays,  2 p.m. Sundays .  For more information , you can visit Ilion Little Theatre`s website or Facebook page.

Well, this is a short, kind of dull blog post.   I comfort myself with the fact that at least it is about something and not just whining that I can’t make a decent blog post right now.   Additionally,  I am posting on my Tablet, typing one letter at a time with the stylus .  Regular readers know how I hate that.

So I close now and say Happy Sunday.  I feel pleased with myself that I am not posting it Monday morning .

 

 

No Scatter to my Saturday

Yesterday (Saturday) morning, when I was making Friday’s post, I had a headache.  I thought to myself, “Look what I can do with a headache!”  I was making a note to myself that I can so post under adverse circumstances.  Well, who knew that headache would blow up into a full blown migraine (oh, YOU probably did) (you know who you are).  It was the sort of headache where I could not do anything else but have a headache, if you know what I mean.  It faded to manageable proportions eventually but left me too drained to do much besides lie on the couch and watch Cold Justice, my new favorite show.

The other bad thing about yesterday was that I did not have any Mohawk Valley adventures to blog about, unless you call walking to the local lab to have them take a couple of vials of blood.  It was a 12-hour fasting blood test, and I had not even had any black coffee, which I understand is allowed.  Maybe that was my problem, although I would think the coffee I had while making my blog post would have cured it.

In short, yesterday was a true blogger’s sick day, with yours truly unable to even type a whiny post about how I could not make a post.  And today’s post is really, really lame.  However, technically, this is not today’s post but Saturday’s post.  I still have time to redeem myself with Sunday’s post.  Preview of coming attractions:  I have rehearsal for Morning’s at Seven at Ilion Little Theatre.  I hope to bring my tablet and take a few pictures.  A little illustration always livens up the post.  As always, I hope you’ll stay tuned.