Category Archives: humor

Tardy Tired Tuesday

I knew yesterday morning I would be late for this post, and when I thought of this title, I didn’t mind so much.  Anyways, I mean to make Wednesday’s post today, on Wednesday, by my clock if not by my WordPress timestamp (why does my computer not recognize “WordPress” as a word?  According to the website, it powers a good percentage of the internet) (but I digress).

I had two rehearsals last night so left the house prior to 5 p.m.  I might have been able to type in something, but I felt too flustered.  I left my second rehearsal early, because I was feeling ill so went to bed without getting on the computer at all.  I am still not feeling 100 percent, so we can call this a blogger’s sick day as well.  Tomorrow I have two rehearsals again. Oh dear.

One might be tempted to point out to me that I am too old to burn the candle at both ends.  Well, the joke’s on that know-it-all, because I could NEVER burn the candle at both ends.  Oh, I’ve tried.  I’ve always tried.  There are just so many good things to do sometimes!  Additionally, one must work for a living, overtime if possible, because, you know, money (not that I’m one of those money-grubbing individuals, but sometimes a little extra comes in handy) (but, once again, I digress).

I see I am over 200 words.  As usual (and how embarrassing that it has become SO usual), I apologize for a foolish post.  Undaunted, but feeling a little silly (that is a quote from a friend), I drive on.  Happy Tuesday/Wednesday, everyone!

 

Monstrously Late Post

Is this my new pattern?  Posting the next morning for the day before but missing that day’s post so that the next morning… etc., etc., ad infinitum (isn’t that how you spell ad infintum? I’m too lazy to look it up).  A little self-dramatizing, aren’t I?  It’s only been two days, for heavens’ sake!  Never mind that, on with the post and let’s see if I can at least get up to 200 words today.

“What’s this? Another late post? At least it isn’t dawn yet!”

When in doubt, throw in a monster.  I do love me some Nosferatu (1922).

“It’s all right, dear. These things happen.”

Doesn’t he look as if he is giving the young lady good advice?  I loves me some Julie Adams and Creature of the Black Lagoon (1954), too.

So it’s pretty obvious I don’t have much to say.  I don’t feel I should go on and on about how busy I am.  For one thing, as a friend once said, “Save your sympathy for those who are too busy to tell you how busy they are.”  Am I too busy to type how busy I am?  Apparently not, but why go on and on about my own admittedly self-imposed ills?

“Cheer up, dearie. You made a blog post!”

I close with our own delightful witch, from Pumpkin Junction in Sauquoit, NY.  It will be a few months before I made a real post about them again, but, as they say, time flies!  Late Happy Monday, everyone!

(Over 200 words!  Yay, me!)

 

Late But Certainly Wrist to Forehead

OK, so I missed making Sunday’s post on Sunday.  I have to leave for work soon, so I can’t do one now, BUT I can share a few pictures I took at the HALO Chinese Auction.

My crowd shots didn’t turn out so good.

This nice lady sold me a hot dog.

And here’s the nice bartender.

Ah, you say, with the picture of the bartender, all becomes clear.  Or maybe blurry.

No matter.  I am nowhere near my self-imposed standard of 200 words, yet I must sign off now.  Tune in later for what I hope will be a better post.

 

Fun and Games on Scattered Saturday

He looks mean, doesn’t he?

I was hoping for a picture of a big explosion to start off this week’s Scattered Saturday post, because that is pretty much how Demolition Man (1993) begins.  It is what we are watching now.  I suggested it because it is a funny, fun, fast-paced flick.  We had just watched The Bad Seed (1956), a perennial favorite of ours.

Isn’t she sweet?

Our day was even more fun before we got to the movie-watching portion.  We went to Little Falls for the grand opening of Meeples Mug House, the new board game cafe.  We played gin and then Yahtzee, in between enjoying a delicious sandwich (me) and soup (Steven).  I’ll write more about Meeples in another post (preview of coming attractions).

I took more pictures for subsequent use.

Before that, I went running and, um, not much else.  I made a phone call to arrange donating an afghan to the H.A.L.O. Chinese Auction tomorrow at the VFW (another preview of coming attractions).  While watching movies, I did a load of laundry and popped a bowl of popcorn (yum).  It was Aversa’s Popcorn, just to add a little local flair to the post.

For local readers, the HALO Chinese auction is at the  Herkimer VFW from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m.  HALO is the Helping Animals Live Organization, a no kill, not for profit, cat rescue group.

Meeples Mug House is located at 598 E. Main St., Little Falls, NY.  They are open from 5 to 9 p.m. Thursday, 5 to 10 p.m. Friday, 2 to 10 p.m. Saturday, and 2 to 8 p.m. Sunday.

And that brings me over 200 words, which regular readers will remember I consider respectable.  I WILL write more about Meeples, possibly in an article in Mohawk Valley Living magazine.  I will also write again about H.A.L.O.  Right now, however, I have knitting to do, and I have to watch Sylvester Stallone kick Wesley Snipes’ butt in Demolition Man.  Happy Saturday, everyone.

 

Monstrous Friday?

“You’re asking ME for a blog post idea?”

It’s that sad moment when I do not even feel up to making a Friday Lame Post.  I just sat here, alternately scrolling down Facebook and staring at a blank WordPress Add New Post page, and I really, truly, got nothin’.  I thought if I opened with a picture of Noseratu (1922), it might spark something.  So far, not much.  However, I am up to 50 or so words, so that’s something.

Quick: which one is me?

I throw in a pic from House on Haunted Hill (1959), just to keep the picture-and-nonsense theme going.  We do love House on Haunted Hill.  William Castle, Vincent Price, what’s not to like?

I’m a little cleaner that this chick, at least.

Carrie (1976) is a bit more graphic than either Nosferatu or House on Haunted Hill, but I include the picture, because I feel just about as stunned as Sissy Spacek looks in this shot.  This is one reason that Lame Post Friday is looking increasingly like Monstrous Monday.  How mortifying.  I can’t even think of a good headline incorporating the word “lame.”  Maybe if I add one more monster picture, something will come to me.

So why am I NOT howling?

Yes, what is it with me? Friday night, and I’m not howling.  I’m not out partying heartily till the wee hours.  Is this what getting older is like?  Damn!  Then again, if I stop trying to type something entertaining (or at least) coherent into my blog post, I can sit here with my knitting, and perhaps my Friday will become a little more enjoyable.  In the meantime, thank you for tuning in, and I hope to see you all for Saturday’s post, whatever it turns out to be.

 

Rapunzel, I’m Not

Here is a good idea for a Non-Sequitur Thursday post:  a PRE-shout-out to a local business I am ABOUT to go to.  And I’d better hustle up, or I won’t have time to shower first.  Oh dear, do I even have time if I hustle?  Well, I’ll just start typing and see what I can do.

My hair has been growing at its usual annoying rate, that is, fast till it gets to where I can’t do anything with it and then stop.  I was undecided to cut or not, because I did not know what my director wanted for the play I’m in (remember? Morning’s at Seven at Ilion Little Theatre) (the murder mysteries don’t matter; I can make any number of ‘do’s work for them).  When the stage manager said she had a grey wig that would work for me, my first question was, “So it’s OK if I get my hair cut really short?”  It was.

Hence, I have an appointment with Clair, my usual stylist at The Hot Spot Salon and Spa in Herkimer.  I decided I might as well have a pedicure while I was at it, if the appointment time was available.  It was!  The appointment is for five tonight.  When I made the appointment, the lady making it said I would be out by about quarter after six.  Perfect for a six-thirty rehearsal in Ilion!  I hope.

Hmm… this is kind of a boring blog post.  It might have been more interesting if I had waited till after the appointment.  I could have included a picture of my toes, at least.  Well, I can’t help that.  I have a shower to take.  My appointment is for a cut without shampoo and blow-dry (I get a REAL low-care cut).  I still don’t know what I’m going to wear to rehearsal.  How flustered I get!

The Hot Spot Salon and Spa is located at 121 E. Albany St., Herkimer, NY, phone number 315-866-9113.  You can also Like them on Facebook.

Witless But Deadly

Well, I spent another day NOT writing a blog post while on breaks at work.  In my defense, my light-headed-ness continued.  In my — what? accusation? prosecution?  Somebody get me a thesaurus! — it was not as bad as yesterday.  Well, these things happened, and blog posts must be made.  Why, you may ask.  I say, because they are not there.  See what I did there?  Thus, mildly pleased with myself, I continue with this week’s Witless Wednesday post.

She is cold, yes.

First I throw in a random picture, so this can be a kind of a Wordless Wednesday as well (not that I am every completely wordless).  Here is Bette Davis, committing the murder that begins The Letter (1940).  I thought a picture from a murder movie would be appropriate, because the rehearsal I am about to go to is for a murder mystery.  Unfortunately, the murder in The Letter is no mystery.  At least, not unfortunately for the movie; it’s a great movie.  Unfortunately for the picture being entirely appropriate.  I did mention this is Witless Wednesday, did I not?

Judith Anderson and Vincent Price.

Here is a picture from an authentic murder mystery, Laura (1944).  In my mind, this is the real romantic couple of the picture, never mind Gene Tierney and Dana Andrews.

I don’t imagine it was trivial to the victim.

The murder mystery we are rehearsing is A Trivial Murder, an interactive dinner theatre to be presented March 23 at the Travel Lodge in Little Falls, NY, to benefit Herkimer County Historical Society.  Doors open at 5, dinner starts at 6. Cost is $25 per person.  For more information, contact the historical society at 315-866-6413.

 

Jazz is the Answer!

Music is magic.  I’ve known it for years.  Let me tell you how I was just reminded about it today.

I spent the day at work muddling through.  I don’t know if it was a kind of a migraine or spring allergies kicking, but I felt light-headed and nauseous all day.  Sorry to complain; just giving you the picture.  I thought I would have to take a Blogger’s Sick Day and wondered if I would make it to rehearsal for Morning’s at Seven, the play I am in at Ilion Little Theatre.

Eventually I got some ginger ale out of the machine, which helped the nausea.  I tried to feel thankful that it was light-headedness and not pain.  Counting one’s blessings can go a long way.  I came home and laid down for a while with my heated face mask, then had some coffee and food.

While all this was going on, I knew I had to make a blog post. Of course I did not write one while at work, muddling. Pondering what I could write, I checked my email and Facebook notifications.  I tried to forget how light-headed I was still feeling.  This was difficult, because it is not easy to hold a thought in such a light head (cue jokes about how that must often be the case for me).

As I sat here in front of a blank screen with increasing feelings of panic (I have to leave for rehearsal in less than an hour), Steven said he was going upstairs to lie down (fine wife I am; I didn’t even ask what was wrong).  I asked him to turn off the television or put it on one of the music channels.

“1945,” I suggested, picking the one I have memorized, because it is a year.  Suddenly, jazz was bouncing out of the television, and my fingers were on the keys and ready to type.

It has always been this way with me.  I remember sitting at my parents’ house, when I lived there.  I had Mom’s portable typewriter set up on the coffee table, paper rolled in, novel notes nearby, and I felt blank.  I put on a record album.  It was the soundtrack of StarWars, as I recall (it was the 1970’s).  It turns out, instrumental music is a writing trigger for me.

It is not my only trigger.  Sometimes I can write quite handily on breaks and before starting work with various factory sounds around me.  The ambient noise of a diner or bar works fine.  Sometimes the relative quiet of the library is nice.

Now I am over 400 words and I have about a half hour till I’d better leave.  So I guess this is my Tired Tuesday post.  Not a long whine about not being able to write, but a short story about how I managed to write… something.  Something good?  Well, we don’t ask for miracles on Tired Tuesday.

 

Monsters, Can You Help Me Now?

As I walked into work this morning, I came up with a rather depressing description of a Monday through Friday job:  Five days of hell, two days of hangover.  It amused me in a cynical sort of way, although I doubt it is original and I assure you it is not accurate for me at least.  However, it seemed a good enough intro for a Monstrous Monday post.

Monday! Bad!

My job, of course, is not hell.  It has its drawbacks, as any job does, and I increasingly dislike being forced to get up in the morning.  I like to BE up early in the morning; I just don’t like to GET up.  I’m sure you now what I mean.

Where was I going with this?  Ah yes, Monstrous Monday.

“Was somebody looking for a monster?”

I have a bear of a week ahead of me, with rehearsals, writing, and a hundred issues and details to be dealt with.  It is my own fault, of course. So are hangovers, but in neither case does that make it any better.  Full disclosure:  I don’t often get hangovers, but when I do, they SUCK!

For the future, I can resolve to drink less, no matter how yummy it is.  However, can a similar resolution help me with my overloaded theatre schedule?  Just say no, you may advise.  Many people have no problem whatsoever with this (hence, our common community theatre casting woes).  What, I ask, is my problem?  Is it my eagerness to be loved?  My love of theatre?  The undeniable thrill I get from being onstage?  Or — and I think I may have something here — is it all the times in my misguided youth when I auditioned, auditioned, auditioned and almost never got cast?

Speaking of eagerness to be loved.

Now I fear I am straying into psychological territory way above my pay grade.  If I am trying to resolve issues from my youth, I am way more pathetic that I like to think I am.  Let’s end this analysis right here.  For one reason, I have lines to study.

 

A Little Help from Elsa

Hello, and welcome to another Wrist to Forehead Sunday.  I am tired and discouraged, but there is no point in going on about it.  For one reason, somebody is sure to point out that other people have way worse problems than mine and I should just be grateful that… something or other.  I hate it when people tell me to “just be grateful that –”  I’ll be grateful when I’m good and ready!  Right now I’m complaining!

Only right now I am trying not to complain but to make a half-way decent blog post (cue jokes about the usual quality of my blog posts).  I was going to do my usual Sunday Cinema;  we started the movie watching portion of our day shortly after noon.  However, I cooked an actual Sunday dinner and we put the television on Snapped while we ate.  It’s still on, but the current episode is one I’ve seen more than once.  Maybe I can mention the movie we did watch and list a few others we might watch next.  After I hit Publish.

Doesn’t it look mysterious and spooky?

We wanted something scary but one we had not seen recently, so I suggested The Spiral Staircase (1946), which we have on VHS (just to show how old school we can be).  I was hoping to find a picture with Elsa Lanchester, but her part isn’t all that big.  Still, we love Elsa Lanchester, so I suggested we have an Elsa Lanchester film festival.  We could continue the spooky theme with Bride of Frankenstein (1935).

I should have had such a ‘do on my wedding day.

After that, we could watch Witness for the Prosecution (1957).  Elsa Lanchester’s role in this film is neither in the short story nor the stage play, but she is the best character in the flick.

This is also Bride of Frankenstein. Isn’t she pretty?

That is the picture I was looking for when I mentioned Bride.  I got tired of scrolling and looking through my Media Library so used the other one.  Then I found it when I was looking for the next picture. Just a little insight into my blogging methodology.

Spoiler alert: He doesn’t murder her.

Next we might go color with Murder By Death (1976).  That is a star-studded romp, and the first video I ever gave Steve, back when we were dating.  We have it on DVD now.

How many can you name?

Well, we won’t have any time to watch any movies if I don’t finish this post and hit Publish.  At least I’ve typed myself into a better mood. Happy Sunday, folks!