Category Archives: humor

Anything New on Wrist to Forehead Sunday?

Posted on February 8, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

Welcome to another edition of Wrist to Forehead Sunday.  I’m your host, Mohawk Valley Girl.

Some feminists find it unbecoming for a female in her 50s to refer to herself as a “girl” and not a “woman.”  I fear I use the terms interchangeably.  To even things out, I do not hesitate to refer to males of any age as “boys.”  I usually do not use more derogatory terms than that for either gender.  That is just an aside, to up the word count a little.  I don’t like to publish too short a post.

Yesterday I bragged about how many blog topics I have as a result of our adventurous Saturday.  I even meant to start using them today.  Then I got my usual hesitation over starting:  I’m afraid the posts will not be good enough.  For example, my logical first post was going to be our first stop: Westmoreland Winter Farmers Market.  Well, I can’t do that off the top of my head.  At the very least I have to dig through some of the business cards I picked up along the way.  I won’t  be able to include all the vendors or even all the vendors I talked to, but I would like to mention at least a few of them by name.

Part of my problem is that I am oh, so tired.  Steven and I stayed up later than usual last night watching my beloved World’s Dumbest.  Then we were up by six, because he had to work at nine.  Of course that is sleeping in for us, so I did expect to be a little more peppy by now.  Perhaps it was the delicious Chinese New Year dinner I had at my niece’s house.  Full disclosure:  I had dessert too.  For anybody keeping track, that is three days when I violated the terms of my diet.  However, this is not a nutrition blog nor even a cooking post.  So there.

I had thought to write a few words about the Super Bowl.  One might think nothing new could be said about that, especially from someone who does not follow football, but I have hutzpah enough to try.  Valentine’s Day is also approaching.  I could definitely say a few things about that.  Before that is Ash Wednesday.  That is a more solemn day, of course, but I’ve shared enough laughs with priests to not fear writing about the church.

However, it seems the best I can do is another post about How I Can’t Write a Post Today (previously Why I Can’t, but I don’t really have any good reasons, I admit it).  Have I thought of new things to say about that?  In fact I think I have, but, for heavens’ sake, what is this obsession with novelty?

 

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Post Before Many More

Posted on February 7, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

What a day, what a day, what a day I have had.  Yes, I needed to say it three times.  Earlier in the week, my sister Cheryl contacted me and told me she had been looking through Mohawk Valley Living magazine and had a full day of Mohawk Valley adventures planned.   What else could I do  but go along and enjoy?

We did enjoy ourselves!  I met Cheryl, we picked up her friend Penny, and we took off.  We spent all day riding around hither and thither (or should that be hither and yon?).  I have so many things to write blog posts about and/or suitable for articles to submit to Mohawk Valley Living, that I don’t know where to begin!

However, I don’t need to begin right now.  In fact, I have found that it is often better to wait and let all my impressions jumble around in my brain for a while.  Somehow or other (who can understand the creative process?) (oh, YOU probably can) (you know who you are),  my thoughts come to some semblance of order and I can write.  How long must I wait?  Ah, that is the tricky question, but we need not answer it today.  Today my purpose is to make a Scattered Saturday post and get back to enjoying my weekend.

I shall give a brief overview of our day.  I’m afraid it won’t be too brief, though, because we hit a lot of places.  We began at the Westmoreland Winter Farmer’s Market.  I hope to write at greater length about that one for sure, because there were several vendors there I must give a shout-out to.  From there we went to the Westmoreland Antique Center.

From Westmoreland we went to Clinton, which I am not very familiar with.  Our first destination was the Adirondack Cheese Store.  We also hit Dawn Marie’s Treasures and Artisan’s Corners.  All three stops are well worth a blog post, as well as a return visit.

After Clinton we drove through Franklin Springs, past Oriskany Creek, through Deansboro and on to Berry Hill Books.  Yay, books!  You know me and books.  After that we found our way to Villa Verona Vineyards.  You probably know me and wine, too.

I was plenty hungry for lunch by this time, but first we made a stop at The Olde Kountry Market.  Cheryl nicely bought us a snack to hold us over.  The delicious late lunch we had at Symeon’s was worth the wait.  Incidentally, Symeon’s was the only stop of the day which I had been to before.

It was the most fun day.  We’re already making plans for next Saturday!  In the meantime, I hope to get started soon writing real blog posts about today.

 

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Just Keep Typing?

Posted on February 6, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

Oh dear.  It is Lame Post Friday and I am beyond lame. So is my computer.  It is my little acer netbook (or whatever it is; my nice sister gave it to me).  The screen keeps flashing white and patterns of black and white.  Oh, wait a minute.  As soon as I started typing the sentence about what it was doing it stopped.  Could it be that easy?  No way.

Earlier today I went to two wine tastings at liquor stores in Herkimer, NY (you know, where I live), both of which had a further local connection.  Vintage Spirits had brownies by Utica Bread Company.  Valley Wine and Liquor featured wines by Villa Verona Vineyard, in nearby Verona, NY.  So I was not just sipping free wine; I was supporting local businesses who were supporting other local businesses.  By the way, I also purchased wine.  I don’t just sip for free.

When I got home, there was a message on my answering machine from my sister, Cheryl.  She has a whole day of Mohawk Valley adventures planned.  Oh boy!  I bet I’ll get a week’s worth of blog posts out of that!

Here’s an interesting thing:  when I was typing away, getting the previous two paragraphs without too much problem, my computer was behaving itself.  After “adventures planned,” I hit a dry spot.  I sat here looking at the screen thinking, “Now what?”  Soon enough the screen started its psycho shit.

Do you suppose there is a lesson here?

Sounds like some half-baked philosophy to me.  But, hey, it’s Lame Post Friday.  Half-baked philosophy is welcome!

And I’m over 200 words.  Hope to see you all on Scattered Saturday.

 

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Hit Publish and Drive On

Posted on February 4, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

Sometimes it doesn’t work.

After yesterday’s blubbering about how I couldn’t write, I got a little stern with myself.  I left my puzzle book home and when it was break time, I sat down, took out my notebook, and started to write.

I had been thinking about what I was going to write before I sat down.  That usually helps.  Very often after I have been going through a dry spell or putting off a particular writing project, I sit down and I write it.  Just like that.  I spend some time after that wondering what my problem had been in the first place.  I make a mental note of the results, reminding myself that next time perhaps the operative thing to do is to, damn it, just sit down and write the thing!

Well, I’m rarely as prompt as I ought to be about any given chore, be it laundry or writing.  Still, after several episodes of finally sitting down and writing something, I do try the Dammit-Just-Sit-Down-And-Write method a little sooner than I used to.

Aaand (you saw this coming) sometimes it doesn’t work.  Maybe I don’t try it soon enough?  Maybe I tried it too soon?  Maybe I didn’t sit in the right place.  Or work on the right project.

Full disclosure:  I do have a mostly finished blog post about a cheesy movie we recently viewed.  It is just too long for me to type in right now, and I would like to edit and perhaps add a few things.  It was just too much trouble to do that tonight.  I have a baby afghan I am finishing for a co-worker (don’t say anything; it’s a surprise).  I need to sit and crochet.

So we’ll call this a Wuss-out Wednesday, hit publish and drive on.  I hope you’re having a lovely middle of the week.

 

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The Groundhog Day Connection

Posted on February 3, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

I am going through a MAJOR dry spell.  My brain just does not want to write.  Does this happen to other writers?  I would imagine it does, but I know for a fact that many writers and especially non-writers are quite impatient of such nonsense.

On the one hand, they have a point.  What am I doing right now but writing? (Technically I am typing, but let’s not be didactic, shall we?)  It’s been said before, even by me: sometimes you just have to sit down and WRITE, even when you don’t damn well feel like it.

Unfortunately, that does not mean one can progress on the project at hand (I say “one” instead of “you,” because I’m sure some of you are huffing, “I ALWAYS can!”) (fat liars).  What I forget is that I can always write SOMETHING.  Then I do things like read, watch television, work on cryptogram or anacrostic puzzles (my two favorites), anything but clean the house.  Or write.

Sometimes I remember that I can always write something, and I do.  Often a letter to a loved one.  Often a very foolish blog post (YES, like this one).  Today, you may have guessed, was not one of those days.  It was, if you are interested, a cryptogram puzzle day.  I did not write a foolish blog post till, um, yes, right now.

Would this have been a better post if I had managed to squeeze some words out of my brain and onto the page earlier?  Quite possibly.  Perhaps I can try that tomorrow, and we can compare/contrast.

In the meantime, I would point out that today is Groundhog Day.  In the movie of that name (which I never saw, sue me), Bill Murray lives the same day over and over again.  I can’t help feeling that this is kind of familiar:  I’m living the same blog post over and over:  “I can’t write, I didn’t write, this is a foolish blog post…”

And you, dear reader, are living it with me.  Once again, thank you for playing.

 

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Baby Fat

Posted on February 2, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

Oh dear, I just sat here looking at the blank computer screen and watching the end of an episode of Reba.  It is a silly show but not without charm.  Uh, I mean, I never watch television.  I don’t have time to watch television, let alone a foolish half-hour sit com.

We all know that’s not true, at least anybody who has read many of my blog posts.  Hell, just yesterday I was talking about Galavant, and that’s one of the classier shows I watch.  How many times have I hurried through my post so I could get back to watching World’s Dumbest, a show which is sadly missing from the schedule many days lately (I’m not ending this with a question mark, because it was rhetorical).

OK, I’m just rambling.  The reason I’m rambling is that I do NOT want to take another Blogger’s Sick Day.  And yet, here I sit. My throat is sore, my head aches, and I have that all-around crappy feeling.  I believe it is nothing worse than a common or garden cold this time, but you know what a big fat baby I am about these things.

I believe there is a theory that I could strive to be less of a big fat baby.  As a matter of fact, I have already taken steps in that direction.  Today was my first day back on the South Beach Diet.  I don’t really expect to be less of a big baby, but I hope that soon I will be less fat.

 

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Wrist to Chores to Walk to Galavant

Posted on February 1, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

I have been so not into making a blog post today.  Then I thought, “Oh, what the hell, it’s Wrist to Forehead Sunday, just type something in and hit publish.

I dithered through most of the day first, enjoying intermittent bursts of relative ambition.  I intend to start the South Beach diet tomorrow (not for the first time), so I went to the grocery store to buy some stuff.  As the young man was checking me out — uh, I mean cashing me out (I was old enough to be his mother), I said, “I’m buying all this healthy stuff, because I’m going on the South Beach Diet tomorrow.”

“I was wondering what that was all about,” he responded with the utmost gravity.  That is the kind of cashier I enjoy.

At home again I made a tossed salad, did a load of laundry and a couple of other useful things.  Then I took a nap till my husband got home (did I mention I’m still suffering from a cold?).  We went for a nice walk.  I thought briefly of doing my blog post about the walk, but it was strictly non-memorable (but fun).

Then I said, “Let’s watch Galavant!”

Galavant is this awesome series on ABC.  It’s Monty Python and Mel Brooks meet Glee.  That is, a musical set in the middle ages with plenty of contemporary references. The lyrics are clever, the characters are compelling, the plot MAKES YOU KEEP WATCHING.  I am in love with it.  We DVR it to watch at our leisure, because of my abnormally early bedtime.

Now we are looking at one of our favorite movies, Being Julia, starring Annette Bening, for  whom I would change my religion (oh, well, perhaps I would not go that far, but I adore her), Jeremy Irons and Michael Gambon.  It is based on Theatre by Somerset Maugham, one of my favorite books. It is a marvelous adaptation. I highly recommend it.

So this is my Wrist to Forehead Sunday.  A few chores, a nice walk, and now I’m watching television.  I must get back to it, because I just started a baby afghan for a co-worker.  I think he will be surprised.

Happy Sunday, everyone.

 

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It’s Still Scattered Saturday After All

Posted on January 31, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: people who go on about their health woes are tiresome, yet here I go.  Now it’s a cold!  I have a crappy, sicky headache and a sore throat.  I feel like crap!  I can’t write a blog post when I feel like crap!

Well, apparently I can because, well, here I am.  I got myself out the door to go adventuring earlier.  I drove all the way to Dolgeville, NY (preview of coming attractions).  Then I came back home and have been nursing myself, not very successfully. Now I want to get the blog post typed in and published before Steven comes home from work.

I intend to cook some rainbow peppers, yellow onions and sweet sausage.  That will not make much of a cooking post, however, because I’m just going to throw them all in a casserole dish and put the casserole dish into the oven.  Then we might make sandwiches (sammiches, as some say) using French Peasant Bread from Heidelberg Bakery in Herkimer, NY.  I mention the bread just to give my post a little local flair.

Ooh, and I just remembered that the sausage has a local story too.  I stopped on the way home from work yesterday at the Mohawk Village Market.  They have a regular old-fashioned butcher department.  All the meat there looks wonderful!  I intend to return soon for some absolutely beautiful London broil and perhaps stuffed pork chops.  Yum!

As I walked back to the meat counter, I saw a Little Library.  There was a doll house and bookshelf filled with books.  You could take one, leave one. I’ve heard of these Little Libraries but had never encountered one, much less in a store.  I found three books I wanted to read.

“Can I take these books and bring books back at another time?” I asked.

“You can do whatever you want,” the lady behind the counter assured me.  “Bring them back, keep them, bring others in, whatever!”

You can imagine my delight.

Mohawk Village Market is located at 24 W. Main St., Mohawk, NY, phone number 315-866-3344.  You can also Like them on Facebook.

 

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Is It a Saying or a Cliche?

Posted on January 30, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

Another common saying revisited:   Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.

I once heard somebody say it was a good way to land on your ass.  Ain’t that the truth!

I’m not saying you will inevitably land on your ass.  However, it seems to me you’d better have strong bootstraps, killer abs, and a completely non-stick surface.  Of course you might have these things and you may, indeed, make the bootstrap thing work.

Yes, I know it is just an expression.  It means, if I am not mistaken, that rather than wallow in your problems you can use your own power to overcome them or, to return to the metaphor, rise above them.  However (still in the metaphor), I’m thinking there are easier ways to rise.

For example, you might push yourself up, maybe even rolling over onto your front side to get more power from your arms.  Tis would work best if you are on a clean, dry surface rather than a muddy, mucky one. In other words, it depends on the problem.  Maybe sometimes it is better to not worry about presenting the tough, I-got-this-covered persona and just get up the best way you can.

You could also pull yourself up.  This, of course, requires something sturdy and firmly fastened to pull on, for example, a strong rope tied by a square knot to a solid wall.  How did the rope get there, you may ask?  Well, maybe you put it there earlier, in case of just such an emergency.  Maybe it just happened to be there.  Maybe a friend put it there.

Ah yes, my favorite aid to rising above our problems:  the hand of a friend.

Some may argue that this is not necessarily reliable, or that it is far better to depend only on one’s self, or that it is foolish to spend so much time and energy dissecting an old metaphor that few people use any more anyways.

There may be merit to these arguments.  I don’t know; I’m no genius.  I’m just a silly blogger enjoying Lame Post Friday.  Have a marvelous weekend, everyone.

 

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And the Killer Is…

Posted on January 29, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

Just kidding.  This is a Pedestrian Post masquerading as a Non-Sequitur Thursday.

I have been having trouble re-starting my run regimen (I use a most generous definition of “regimen”).  My knees have been bothering me.  Not horribly, but they do ache.  It is sometimes less than pleasant to go up or down stairs.  I have a dreadful suspicion that it is age-related.  I feel sure that if I lost more weight, that would help. Running may bother my knees,but it will help me lose weight, which will  be good for my knees. It’s kind of circular.

Monday I went for a nice walk with my husband.  Tuesday I ran.  Tuesday night/Wednesday morning I woke up with my left knee THROBBING!!!  I couldn’t go back to sleep at first because it hurt so bad.  Oh, crap!  I limped through work on Wednesday and neither ran nor walked afterwards (as you may remember, it was Wuss-out Wednesday).  However, if I don’t use my legs, they start to feel really crappy.

My knee felt better today, but I was not sure running was the best idea.   Additionally, it was Steven’s day off and you know how I love to maximize my husband time.  I made up my mind I would either run in place on the mini-tramp, while chatting with Steve, or go for a walk with Steve. Obviously, a walk was the more attractive option.

It was warmer earlier in the week, but it was not at all bad today.  We had to walk around some puddles, but surrounding grass was not too muddy.   There were a few patches of ice, which Steven boldly walked over.  I mostly skirted them.   We noted a few houses that still had their Christmas decorations up.  We like Christmas.

It was a very pleasant walk, and my legs felt wonderful with the exercise.  I will attempt another walk tomorrow or Saturday, I hope.  I’ll probably write a blog post about it.

 

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