Category Archives: humor

Movies Before Monday

Posted on February 25, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

For me it’s wine, not the hard stuff.

Yes, it is Wrist to Forehead Sunday.  I am supposed to be watching The Bat (1959), a movie featuring Agnes Moorehead and Vincent Price.  We previously watched  Hush… Hush, Sweet Charlotte (1964), which also featured Moorehead, which is what made me think of The Bat.

I do not think this pose actually appeared in the movie.

 

“I could spit in your eye!”

The divine Bette Davis.  There could be no possible objection.  Yesterday I was going to do a Saturday Cinema, but my laptop would not cooperate.  Perhaps I could type a few words about that now, so the whole post won’t be me whining about the weekend being almost over.

This was the only picture I could find just now.

 

We watched Horror Hotel (1960), also known as City of the Dead, last evening.  It was really more of a village, truth be told, but I don’t decide on these titles.

This was just the first photo of this movie I found in my Media Library.

After Horror Hotel, we saw House on Haunted Hill (1959), mostly because it was on the same disc.  We love House on Haunted Hill, another delightful vehicle for Vincent Price.

And now I am looking at Snapped.  Steven will be watching the Oscars later, which he has been tuning in to for some 50 years.  I may go to bed early.  I see I am over 200 words, which I consider respectable for a Wrist to Forehead Sunday.  I hope your weekend was grand and your upcoming week not too gruesome.

HERE’S the picture from Horror Hotel I was looking for!

 

 

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Damn Laptop

Posted on February 24, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

Oh, I am in a bad mood now!  I was all set to make a Saturday Cinema post with illustrations when my laptop blacked out AGAIN! I hate computers. So here I am , on my tablet, typing hunt and peck with a stylus.  Not conducive,  to say the least .

I was having such an enjoyable evening too.  But one must deal with the circumstances at hand, and blog posts must be made.

I haven’t had the greatest Saturday,  but it has had its moments.  I had a good run as well as a not bad walk.  I wrote seven post cards, got some grocery shopping done, and cooked a not bad dinner.

We are currently watching horror movies,  cheesy and otherwise.  We’re on the third one so far.  I hope to get to at least one more.

Oh dear, less than 150 words.  How slowly it goes one letter at a time . Quick, Cindy, think of something else to say. …  Nothing comes to mind.

What I really need to do is get some real writing done.  It hasn’t happened yet this weekend.  But I cling to my rule of All Writing Counts.  Seven post cards is, I feel, not bad.  Additionally,  I made a brief note in the TV Journal .  I could write more there as the evening progresses .

In the meantime, I am at last over 200 words.  I’m going to call this a Slacker Saturday and drive on.

 

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Off the Hook on Lame Post Friday

Posted on February 23, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

I started to write a blog post while at work today. I had a good topic, about a theatre experience I am currently undergoing.  I guess that is now a Preview of Coming Attractions, because I never got beyond the first paragraph.  I wondered if it is because I am wired to have Lame Post Friday.  And here we are, back at my house, bra off, sweats on, glass of Chardonnay nearby, not my first glass, obviously (or perhaps not so obviously, but so it is), hoping to type in a few words to amuse or at least entertain.

The day at work passed with sometimes agonizing slowness.  I got some work done, but let us not dwell on that.  For one reason, this is not a work blog.  I sustained myself through the day with the knowledge that at some point I would get together with my friend, Kim.  She has been away, and I have missed her.

We did get together.  We tasted some wine at Valley Wine and Liquor (I must make a full post about that.  For one reason, I took a picture of the winemaker who was pouring the wines we tasted).  Then we went to Asteroga Ale House and Salvatore’s Pizzeria and Restuarant.  We had a fun time at both places.  We made plans to meet again tomorrow.

Oh what a dull post this is!  Where are my random observations and half-baked philosophy that usually enliven my Friday Lame Posts?  I don’t know.  However, I am over 200 words, which I consider respectable.  Perhaps tomorrow I can tell you the story of the chocolate cake.  Or we’ll talk about wine.  In any case, it will be Scattered Saturday or some such by then.  I’m going to let myself off the hook for today.  Happy Friday, everyone!

 

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To Boil or Not to Boil?

Posted on February 22, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

It is time for my annual post in which I dither about whether or not to run the Boilermaker 15K in Utica, NY in July.  At least, I do not remember if I write a post like this EVERY year (regular readers will not be surprised I am too lazy to go back and check).  I certainly do not run the Boilermaker every year (those who do are welcome to feel smug about it; indeed, I admire their dedication).

Being me, I cannot just go ahead and make a decision of this magnitude.  It is a decision of magnitude, by the way.  For the next four and a half months (I just now counted on my fingers), I cannot slack off of running for a week here and there.  I’ll have to keep better track of how long I run and how quickly I build myself up.  Ten percent each week does add up, but I feel I must keep good track of how soon I’ll be running for how long.  I am constantly looking at calendars and doing the math.

One might argue (oh, who am I kidding?   There’s always one who WILL argue!) (you know who you are) that none of this matters a great deal.  People who do not run at all have been known to run the Boilermaker 15K successfully.  I can probably get by on sheer stubbornness.   Additionally, many people walk during the Boilermaker; I’ve seen them.  I would not bear that shame alone (and I daresay some of them do not even feel ashamed) (and who am I to judge?).

I will just explain to the ones who argue thusly, “Shut up!”  (That is a S. J. Perelman joke I often use).  I train for the Boilermaker because (1) It is fun for me.  I like to run, and I feel good about myself as I am building up and (2) I do not WANT to get by on stubbornness nor by walking part of the course.  Additionally, I do not want to feel all ate up after the run.  I want to drink a beer!  And hang out with some friends!

Hmmm… It begins to sound as if I have already made up my mind to run the Boilermaker.  Well, why not?  I’m in my mid-50’s.  How many chances do I have to be bad-ass?  It will be good for me to train for a 15K.  If I stop eating like a pig, I may even meet a few of my weight-loss goals.

Of course, the final decision will not be made today.  I will still have to register, and there is always a chance I will get shut out.  It is a very popular race.  But I thank my readers for allowing me to dither in this space.  If anybody has any input on the matter, please feel free to comment.

 

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Is It Jogging or Blogging?

Posted on February 21, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

I was going to type about not writing, but when I added the parenthetical comment “as Truman Capote once said, that’s not writing, it’s typing,” it reminded me of a story.

In fifth grade, my class was running out to the playground with the teacher, for a kickball game, I think.  The teacher said, “You students aren’t sprinting, you’re jogging!”  in an aghast tone of voice, as if we knew what we were supposed to be doing and were purposely doing it wrong because we were such rotten kids.  I remember feeling bad, because I wasn’t doing it right (I was that sort of kid).   Afterwards, I felt a bit resentful, because he never said we were supposed to be sprinting.  How were we supposed to know?

It was not until years later that I realized, the guy was probably humiliated that this group of fifth graders — even the completely un-athletic ones like me  — were totally outpacing his fat ass (he wasn’t really fat, just mildly overweight, but since he’s the bad guy of the story, I’ll go with fat).  He was pretty much a big jerk, as a teacher and as a human being, so I won’t say “the poor guy.”

In retrospect, I’m glad if he was feeling humiliated.  He humiliated me often enough, but I won’t get into that, because this is a blog, not psychotherapy.  But for heavens’ sake, why would you shame a bunch of fifth-graders for how they move out to a playground?  He didn’t say, “Let’s sprint!”  He just started running and so did we.  It didn’t matter anyways, because by the time he said it, we were where we were supposed to be.  I don’t even remember if it was a kick-ball game or what, but I’m betting if we picked teams I got picked last.  My life was a kind of a burden to me in elementary school.

Incidentally, I remember reading in James Fixx’s famous book about running that he did not differentiate between running and jogging.  I could be remembering that wrong (it was not as memorable as being insulted by an elementary school teacher, I guess).  Regular readers know I call it all running, even my middle-aged shuffle or when I’m thunking along (I really feel “thunking” should be a word).

Why do I remember this stuff when I can’t where I put whatever I happen to be looking for at the time (as happens to me at least once a day)?  More importantly, does it make a good blog post?  Perhaps it does not matter on Wuss-out Wednesday.  Here’s hoping!

 

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Who, Me? Exercise?

Posted on February 20, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

How about a Pedestrian Post instead of my usual Tired Tuesday?  For one reason, I went for a walk this afternoon.  It was not much of a walk, so I’m afraid this will not be much of a post, but one does what one can.

I have been determined to exercise more regularly.  Mostly this has resulted in me feeling guilty when I do not exercise.  If only guilt burned calories!  So I thought all day about what I would do to exercise.  My first plan had been to go to the YMCA.  Unfortunately, although I remembered work-out clothes, I did not bring a pair of work-out glasses.  YES, that is a spurious reason not to exercise.  In my defense, my new glasses are REALLY nice, and my face sweats a lot when I get on the elliptical.

So I started to think about how to exercise at home.  I would have to excavate the mini-tramp in order to run in place.  You see, in an house like mine, any flat surface that doesn’t move soon becomes covered with stuff.  Don’t judge me.  As I considered this fact, I thought, maybe I could incorporate exercise into cleaning.  I could march or lunge-walk around as I put things away.  I could do squats as I folded laundry.  I could write a blog post about it!  Maybe even a whole exercise book!  Sometimes I get a little extravagant when my mind wanders.

By the time I got home, I felt tired and discouraged.  All I wanted to do was sit on the couch.  However, I had noted that it was not freezingly cold out (what?  Isn’t “freezingly” a word?  I feel it should be).  I could, in fact, go running.  I was a bit concerned about the ice, though. Or was that just an excuse?  Then I thought: a walk.  A nice walk.  I could just about manage a walk.

So I went for a walk for nearly a half hour.  It was only uncomfortably cold when the wind picked up and was against me.  Yikes!  The ice was a problem at times.  If I had been trying to run, I’m sure I would have wiped out at least once.  Snow was also an obstacle, but plowing through snow burns more calories.  It also gets sneakers wet.  Note to self:  invest in a pair of winter boots.

Well, I am approaching 400 words, and for a Pedestrian Post, I have not said a whole lot about the walk.  However, as I observed in the first paragraph, one does what one can. Happy Tuesday, everyone!

 

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Helping Hands to Cute Vampires, It’s Monstrous Monday

Posted on February 19, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

I tried to write a blog post before work this morning.  I got a few paragraphs done, but I can’t finish it at the keyboard.  Maybe tomorrow.  Full disclosure:  I did not work any more on it during breaks and lunch, because the lure of crossword puzzles was too strong.  So let’s have our usual Monstrous Monday before the next episode of Dateline starts (regular readers may recall that on Mondays I watch Dateline on OWN).

Maybe if I drank more tea, I could be a better blogger.

I love this picture, because we all get by with a little help from our friends.  Even a monster sometimes needs a hand.

It looks perfectly harmless now…

I’ve been thinking about this movie a lot lately. It is Roger Corman’s Little Shop of Horrors (1960). I love that movie.  I have no use for the musical, but to each his own, as the old lady said when she kissed the cow.

I’m not scared of my own shadow. This one, however, is a different story.

This, of course, is from my all time favorite, Nosferatu (1929).  They knew how to use shadows in those old movies.

“Look, Mom! No cavities!”

Just to end on a note of cuteness, here is one of my own little vampires, in a decorative pot given to me by my good friend, Marsha.  I have no problem with cute monsters.  I like all kinds!

 

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Saturday Cinema on Sunday?

Posted on February 18, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

Let’s just call this a Wrist to Forehead Sunday and have done with it.  I thought I could find pictures of the cheesy movies we watched last night and do a post on those, but I could only find two.  Also, I do not feel much like making a long-winded post talking about movies.  How about a short post and I can get back to enjoying my Sunday and so can you (or your Monday if you read this tomorrow; I can be flexible).

Our first movie was one I had no luck finding pictures on, The Monster and the Girl (1941), which I DVR’d off TCM recently.  I could do a whole movie write up on that, since I took notes in the TV Journal.  Maybe next week sometime.  As Steven put it, we didn’t love the movie, but we didn’t mind it.  I wanted something more cheesily and reliably entertaining so suggested something from one of our DVD collections, specifically The Atomic Brain (1963).

You would think that is some sort of potion she is about to drink.

That is the rich old hag who is paying a mad scientist to make her young and beautiful again.  It was not easy being a mad scientist in the 1960’s, apparently.

After that we watched the Amazing Transparent Man (1960), merely because it was on the same disc.  It was pretty entertaining, too, although the guy was kind of a jerk, whether you could see him or not.

Look, I found a picture after all!

I could not find a picture as stated earlier, because I thought it was called “The Incredible Transparent Man.”  Silly me!  But I’m too lazy to go back and change the previous paragraph.  Regular readers will not be surprised.

After that we started to watch The Ape Man (1943), with Bela Lugosi, but we went to bed before it was over.  Something to look forward to on another cheesy movie watching night!

Not nearly as suave as he was as Dracula.

 

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Short Scattered Saturday before Sweats

Posted on February 17, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

Oh, I wanted to do a Saturday Running Commentary, but I just don’t feel up for it, so this will be another Scattered Saturday post.  If I can remember my whole day.  Well, I’ll just give the highlights.

I got up early, because we went to be early last night (the thrills of judge shows and true crime shows could not compete with the appeal of blankets and pillows, apparently).  After some coffee, Facebook, television news and solitaire (with a deck of cards on the floor, that’s how I roll), I realized I had to either eat or run.  I decided on the run.

The sun was up, but the temperature was below freezing.  It was high 20’s, so that wasn’t so bad for running, but it did nothing to melt the ice.  I ran in the road, in the middle of the road when I could get away with it.  The run itself was without mishap, but when I went to take my cool-down walk on the sidewalk, I landed on my ass after two steps.  It was a slow, stiff-legged cool-down walk after that, but I lived to tell the tale.

Back home, I wrote some post cards and called my Mom and Dad.  A family party was in the offing for later in the day, and I wanted to know if there was a plan.  Mom asked could I bring rolls.  I said I would take a quick trip to Heidelberg Bakery.  She said they did not necessarily have to be Heidelberg rolls, but what does she expect from Mohawk Valley Girl?  Of course I went for the local, distinctive product!

After being local and distinctive, I confess I went to the dollar store.  We were celebrating my brother’s birthday, and I wanted a gift bag and card.  I also picked up some party hats and favors, just for fun.  It was not until much later I realized I had forgotten to mail my post cards.  Rats!

We drove into Rome in the early afternoon.  We had a lovely time with my family, and the party favors were a big hit with at least some of those attending.  Now we are home and into the bra off, sweats on, wine drinking, movie watching portion of the evening.  Bring it!

 

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Is This Life in the Fast Lame?

Posted on February 16, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

I said, “I have to make my blog post.  Thank goodness it’s Lame Post Friday!”  Still, even a lame post is a post that must be composed, typed in and published.  Well, let’s get on with it.  Full disclosure:  I have no random observations or half-baked philosophy to offer today.  I am going to share a few pictures and make a few remarks about them.  Let me look at my Media Library…

Why is this not part of my coffee cup collection?

Here’s a show I have not seen in a long time: Deadly Women, hosted by Candace DeLong.  It is one of those shows where the narrator tells you the story while actors act it out with some dialogue.  Yes, what I call a re-enactment-fest, but I like it.  I should just mention that Friday is usually one of my true crime show nights, with Dateline: Secrets Uncovered on Oxygen.

I just loves me some Dateline.

We were watching Dateline, but the next episode covered Dalia Dippolito (why doesn’t she spell her name with an “h” like the flower?).  Steven wasn’t into it.  He wanted to watch People’s Court, but Judge Mathis was on at the time.  I confess to being somewhat fond of Judge Mathis. I like it when the litigants hug it out after the case.

Yeah, he’s cool.

People’s Court with Judge Marilyn Milian is on at six. After that, maybe we can get back to Dateline.

Steven want her to be his girlfriend.

So this is my exciting Friday night.  I’m sitting around in my sweats, watching judge or true crime shows, and typing in lame blog post.  Have a nice weekend, everyone!

 

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