Category Archives: humor

Waiting for Brownies on Pi Day

Posted on March 15, 2018 by mohawkvalleygirl

OK, a title is all I really have so far.  It is quite true: I am sitting here on my couch just beginning to smell the delicious chocolate aroma.  Mmmmm….. This is why I may never meet my weight loss goals.  But never mind that.  Let me get on with making my Wuss-out Wednesday post.

When did 3/14 become Pi Day?  Math geeks will tell me that 3.14 has always been pi, and I seem to remember that from junior high. But when did it become something we celebrate?  Mind you, I’m not complaining.  I like math and I like pie.  I can’t always do the math, and I do not know how to make a pie, but that is not uncommon.  I wanted to buy a pie today but couldn’t find one (I didn’t look very hard, thinking about those weight-loss goals I mentioned earlier).  I impulse purchased a brownie mix, thinking to keep in reserve in case of emergency.

Turns out we don’t need an emergency to make brownies in this house.  Ooh, the timer just beeped, and Steven went into the kitchen to get the brownies out of the oven.  I think we must let them cool somewhat, which will give me time to finish my blog post.  I really thought I was going to get back into making good posts, you know, about Mohawk Valley adventures and stuff.  I may begin to do that tomorrow.

Or tomorrow I may write a post about how it is the Ides of March.  As classical scholars know, Julius Caesar had a problem on that day.  I may mark the day, but I can pretty much guarantee I will not be eating a Caesar Salad.

 

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I’m in a Monstrous Mood

Posted on March 14, 2018 by mohawkvalleygirl

A depiction of my mood today, only without the smile.

Folks, it is time for another Bad Attituesday, because sometimes it is better to bitch than to whine.  Only I don’t really want to do either.  I just want to make a fast blog post and relax for the rest of the evening.  As for what is causing my bad attitude,  to explain would involve either bitching or whining, and anyways, explanations are tiresome.  As I type, my mood lightens somewhat.  I bet if I shared a few more monster pictures, I’d feel better yet.  Maybe I could find a couple new ones.

A depiction of me before going on the South Beach Diet.

There’s a movie monster I’ve never shared pictures of.  I wrote one blog post mentioning the movie once.  I probably can’t find it, though, since that was back in the days before I knew about categories and tags.  Ooh, I found it: Real Screams?

He was ready for his close-up.

I thought I would share another picture, without the title obscuring the monster.  Notice Bela Lugosi listed on the marquis behind the Blob.  I find that to be a nice touch.

So thinking about monsters has cheered me up, and I see that I am over 200 words.  That is a respectable post.  I’ll just add one more picture for good measure.

“I’m a happy monster now!”

 

 

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Mmm… Coffee

Posted on March 13, 2018 by mohawkvalleygirl

In lieu of a Mental Meanderings or Middle-aged Musings Monday, I thought I would give a belated shout-out to Utica Roasting Company, where Steven and I enjoyed breakfast during his Fabulous Four Day Birthday Weekend.  We had business in New Hartford, NY, and we just don’t like to do these things on an empty stomach.  After much debate, I suggested Utica Roasting Company as being right on our way, if we went that way (there are a few ways to get to where we wanted to go).

For the uninitiated, Utica is the city closest to Herkimer, and there are several surrounding communities that all run into each other.  I guess you would call it the Greater Utica Area, which I rather like the sound of.  I paused just now to Google (an even sillier verb that “blog”) “greater Utica area,” and I only got the magazine of that name, not a listing of the actual communities that comprise said area.  But I am no hand at computer searches.

Be that as it may, I drove, being more familiar with the area that Steven.  We went straight into Utica on 5S and with a little finagling, got to 92 Genesee St.  We easily found a parking space and walked right into the coffee shop.  I have been there a few times, and even wrote about it for Mohawk Valley Living magazine.  I knew Steven would like it, although he may be a little too mellow for a place whose motto is, “Wake the Hell Up!”

We ordered coffee and everything bagels (regular readers may remember that is my favorite), and sat down.  There was a tall table I would have liked to sit at, but the stools did not have backs, which Steven really prefers.  We sat at a regular table, once again eschewing the comfy-looking couch, as we did at Moose River Coffee in Ilion (perhaps you read my blog post about that fine establishment).

The two coffee places have good coffee, comfy couches, and everything Bagels in common.  However, Utica Roasting has a much more urban feel.  The walls are unfinished, the tables are metal, and it altogether looks like a hip, happening joint.  Oh dear, those are old slang terms.  There is some retro decor:  an antique scale, an old street map of Utica, so maybe old slang is OK.

We enjoyed our breakfast there, and the coffee did help us wake the hell up.  For more information about Utica Coffee Roasting Company, you can visit their website at www.wakethehellup.com.  You can also Like them on Facebook.

 

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I Might Actually Swoon This Time

Posted on March 12, 2018 by mohawkvalleygirl

Oh, it is late for me to be posting on a Sunday, even a Wrist to Forehead Sunday, which this definitely is.  Alas!  Alack!  Oh woe is me!  Yes, I am being dramatic.  We’ve discussed this.  It is what I do.

Earlier we had another rehearsal for Secrets at Suiter House, the murder mystery we are doing to benefit the Herkimer County Historical Society.  Before that, Steven and I were at a Chinese Auction to benefit H.A.L.O., the cat rescue organization. I donated an afghan.  We won a basket of beanie babies.  Fun times!  Earlier yet, we had breakfast at The Knight Spot in Frankfort.

So you see, I have a number of topics for a real post.  Can I manage to write one.  NO!  That is why I am poised, the back of my wrist against my forehead, about to swoon in anguish.  If only I had a chaise lounge to swoon upon, my life would be perfect.  Instead I shall have to make do with a couch.  It is almost impossible to type while holding that about-to-swoon pose, and even more so when one is actually swooning.  Oh, OK, I will admit it:  I have never actually swooned.  I don’t even usually make the about-to-swoon pose. Yes, wrist to forehead is just an expression.

“Real post”  is just an expression, too.  I am going to hit “Publish.” Some people might read this nonsense.  If so, I hope they find some amount of entertainment from it.  As for me, I shall try for a better blog post tomorrow. Happy Sunday, folks.  

 

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I’m Just Getting to the Good Part

Posted on March 11, 2018 by mohawkvalleygirl

OK, time for a fast Scattered Saturday post before I get back to enjoying my Saturday.  Full disclosure:  It has not been such a great Saturday for the most part — entirely my fault, but please don’t judge.  Oh, all right, go ahead and judge.  Shake your head, or your finger, or your booty at me.  Tell me I’m a worthless human being!  Call me out for whining!  Even — good heavens, not that! — stop reading my blog!

Got that out of my system.  Regular readers cannot be surprised if I become a trifle, shall we say, dramatic.  I am in the midst of putting together an interactive murder mystery dinner theatre (I am responsible for the theatre, not the dinner), and I am in the midst of writing another one.  By the time that’s finished, it may be time to audition for the summer Shakespeare production with LiFT, Little Falls’ theatre company.  I am so ready to speak forsoothly again!

Be all that as it may, I am getting to the good part of my Saturday, but I will give a quick overview of what went before.  My wonderful husband, Steven, and I were able to sleep in a bit, because he did not have to be to work till eleven.  I found some postcards I thought I had already sent so had a good selection to pick from for my weekly postcard writing activity.  The main problem I have with the postcards is that I get tired of writing them after three or four, and there are more people I would like to send them to.  I thought I might write more later in the day but have yet to do any such thing.

When Steven went to work, I drove to the post office to mail the above mentioned cards, then when to Cliff’s Local Market (formerly Nice-n-Easy) to use the ATM.  From there I drove into Ilion to Cornerstone Consignment, where they were having a sale.  I need a fabulous dress for Secrets at Suiter House, my upcoming murder mystery, and I would like a 1920’s-ish dress, in case I find an occasion to wear one in the near future.  As it happened, I found a couple of dresses that might have worked, but I just could not work up the oomph to try them on.  Fairly disgusted with myself, I went home.

At home, I managed to do a couple of chores (too boring to mention) and studied my murder mystery lines for a while.  Eventually it was time to walk to Asteroga Ale House, where I had plans to meet Steven when he got off work.  That was a nice little walk, and a nice interlude at the Ale House.  I may write a full blog post about that in the near future.

In the meantime, I am over 450 words.  I call that quite respectable for a Scattered Saturday.  As I mentioned earlier, I am getting to a very enjoyable part of the evening:  sweats on, bra off (don’t you DARE say TMI!), glass of wine to hand, and true crime show on TV.  Once I pick up my crochet, my life will be perfect.  Happy Saturday, all!

 

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What’s In a Lame?

Posted on March 10, 2018 by mohawkvalleygirl

Get it?  Like “What’s in a name?”  I came up with the title after I wrote the following:

No, this is not my date for Friday night.

I didn’t have any bright ideas for this week’s Friday Lame Post, but when I was on Facebook, somebody on one of my monster movie pages shared this picture of Max Schreck as Nosferatu.  I immediately downloaded it, and you know my motto (one of them, anyways): waste not, want not.

Incidentally, every time I mention Max Schreck, I have to look up the spelling of his name.  I feel certain I am getting it mixed up with a certain green ogre voiced by Mike Myers (another name I must look up).

“What do you mean, you’ve never seen the movie?”

Shrek.  That is how the ogre spells it.  And it’s Myers not Meyers, Mike not Michael.  I guess Michael Meyers is the bad guy from the Halloween movies.  Full disclosure:  I have never seen any of the Shrek movies, and it comes as no small disappointment to me to find out it is spelled differently from Max Schreck.  I’ve heard the Shrek movies are full of pop culture references.  I think a reference to an iconic silent horror movie would have been nice.  Perhaps they did mean it as a reference but changed the spelling.  If I was a real cinema writer, I would research these things (and once again, we come to the ugly truth about me).

“No, I was not a regular on Saturday Night Live.”

I just looked up Halloween, the movie, and found that Michael Myers spells his name the same way Mike Myers did.  I’m glad we got that cleared up.

 

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A Monster and a Mermaid on Non-Sequitur Thursday

Posted on March 9, 2018 by mohawkvalleygirl

I am in a blogging slump, as you may have noticed.  I managed a real post yesterday, but all I want to do today is share monster pictures and type nonsense.

Actually, that is not quite true.  What I REALLY want to do is  sit on my couch, crochet an afghan, and watch 20/20 on OWN.  Maybe drink a little wine.  Hang out with my husband.  Vegetate.  But I am determined to continue this silly blog as long as possible.  There may come a day when I no longer write a daily blog, but THIS!   IS!   NOT!  THAT!   DAY!

As you can see, I feel strongly about it.

Me, waiting for inspiration to strike.

Obviously, this is not me.  I will never stay on the South Beach Diet long enough to reach this level of skinniness.  But you understand my metaphor:  waiting for inspiration is a long, dry wait.  I don’t really wait for inspiration to strike, anyways, so don’t start in on the lectures about Just Write, Don’t Wait for Mood, and other truisms of writing advice.  And yes, I KNOW that part of the word “truism” is “true.”  Things often become a cliche for a reason, etc., etc.

Incidentally, the above picture is from the Old Barn Marketplace on Route 5 in Little Falls.  I was there last fall and took that picture.

Where was I?  Ah yes, trying to come up with a blog post for Non-Sequitur Thursday, so I can stay in the blogging game for yet another day.  I did say something about monster pictures…

“Where did you come from, Tall, Dark and Gruesome?”

Ah, here is a monster and a mermaid (that might be a good title), and a mention of what day it is.  Thirsty Thursday, huh?  I did say something about wine earlier.  And I am up to 300 words.  I call that respectable.  I hope to see you all on Lame Post Friday.

 

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I Could Use a Cup of Coffee Now

Posted on March 8, 2018 by mohawkvalleygirl

I have been meaning to write blog posts about a couple of places I visited over the weekend (remember, it was Steven’s Fabulous Four Day Birthday Weekend).  Instead I have been tired and not writing much at all.  However, today I will try to get back on track with a well deserved shout-out to Moose River Coffee in Ilion.

We had originally planned to go to Moose River Coffee Friday morning but ended up hunkered down waiting out the winter storm.  I really love that Moose River Coffee, though, so I was happy we went on Saturday. For another reason, I knew they sometimes have bagels and if they don’t, they have sandwiches on Heidelberg Bread.  Yum!  As it happened, they had Everything Bagels, my favorite!  I got mine with cream cheese, while Steven got butter on his.

We found a table to sit down with our coffee and bagels, but we could have lounged on the comfy couch.  One table had a “Reserved” sign on it.  I watched with interest as a group of young people (at least, they were younger than me; I guess that’s an ever widening range) sat at it and began a game of Jenga.  I think it is pretty awesome for a coffee house to promote community like that.  Next to the comfy couch is a bookcase with books and a couple other games, so people are apparently always welcome to linger.

In fact, linger is what I like to do at a coffee house.  In this case, Steven and I did not, because we had other adventures to pursue.  However, I hope to return soon alone with my notebook.  I have a lot more writing to do.

Moose River Coffee is located at 70 Otsego St., Ilion, NY, phone number 315-895-0490.

 

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I Did Not Plan to be Tired

Posted on March 7, 2018 by mohawkvalleygirl

Regular readers know that I am almost always tired on Tuesday, hence the Tired Tuesday post.  Today was even worse, because being the first day back at work after a four day break, it was also my Monday.  I feel guilty complaining about it.  I am sure many will judge me:  you had four days off, you bum!  What have you got to be tired about?  Well, I am definitely too tired to have THAT argument in my head again.

My day was brightened somewhat this morning when I realized it was, in fact, Tuesday, meaning I only have a four day week.  I enjoyed my four day week last week.  Perhaps I could do the same this week.  One thing I was resolved on:  I was going to handwrite a blog post during breaks so that I could go to the library after work and make my blog post on a real computer, not my Tablet.  Additionally, I could easily check all my emails (I have a few different accounts), at least one of which I had to answer.  Oh, and Facebook message a cast member of Secrets at Suiter House.  Just to show you what a full plate I had.

Naturally, things did not go as I planned.  They never do; I’m not even sure why I bother to make plans, but never mind that now.  First, I was too tired to write anything.  Then I got a message from my husband, Steven, that the laptop was ready for pick up TODAY, not Friday as scheduled.  It obviously behooved me to call and change my pick-up appointment to today, and to drive to New Hartford (NY, not CT), and get the laptop.  Then I could skip the library.  Although, now that I think about it:  the library is closer, and I could have gotten out more books.  I like books.

Of course it took longer than expected to accomplish this, and traffic is often a problem in that area.  However, I mustered what patience I could, and now I am sitting on my couch, typing my blog post into the laptop. I checked my email, answered what I needed to, sent the message I wanted to, and even looked at Facebook for a bit (don’t judge me).

I’m thinking this is a foolish post, even for a Tired Tuesday.  There are a lot more interesting things I could write about than my stupid computer problems.  If only I wasn’t so tired!  Let that be a lesson to me —  oh wait, this is a lesson I have told myself many times and I haven’t learned it yet:  Have blog posts written in advance, so in case of just such an emergency, I will have only to hit Publish.  Waaaait a minute!  That sounds suspiciously like Plan Ahead.  What did I say earlier about making plans?

 

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A Vampire Bit My Computer

Posted on March 6, 2018 by mohawkvalleygirl

We’re having computer issues this week, so I am posting from my Tablet.  That is, one stinking letter at a time.   I had thought to make this a Wordless Week,  only right now I can’t think of anything handy to take a picture of.   Maybe my Media Library can once again come to my rescue.

He’s not singing Here comes The Sun.

I just used this picture, but we are currently watching the sequel, Scream, Blackula, Scream.  I confess, it’s pretty dull, which is why I started on the blog post.

 

I seem to have developed a taste for vampires.

I might as well make it a vampire post.  You know I have plenty of monster pictures in the Library.  Some feel Christopher Lee is the quintessential Dracula.  I am more of a classicist myself.

Vat do you mean you put Lee in ahead of me?

You knew I had Bela Lugosi in here somewhere, and regular readers are no doubt waiting breathlessly for…

Your favorite and mine. Well, mine, anyways.

I try to get my blog posts up to 200 words.  Well, at least I got close.  Right now I’ve got to rescue Steven from this movie, which he seems not to be enjoying much.  Happy Monday, everyone.

Ooh, 200 words, yes!

 

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