Category Archives: humor

Unwelcoming Weather

I did mention this would be Wrist to Forehead Sunday. In fact, I don’t feel particularly wrist-to-foreheady (yes, computer, I know that’s not a word, but it should be). I feel happy to be home.

I traveled from the Mohawk Valley into Liverpool, NY and thence to the Finger Lakes (have you ever used the word “thence” in a sentence? I have not) (till now). It was a lovely if tiring weekend. I drove by myself, to and from Liverpool. This was a big deal. I rarely go anywhere by myself. But once in a while I try to be an independent, take charge kind of woman.

When I got home and Steven had returned home from work, we took our schnoodle, Tabby for a walk. She was so happy to have both her peeps home. It was a beautifully sunny day. Who could resist going for a walk on a Sunday in springtime?

Well, the Mohawk Valley weather was not exactly welcoming me or springtime back, it seems. That wind was mean! It was cold! I was happy I had the foresight to wear a windbreaker and my toque. Still, I felt a little ill-used. What a ridiculous difference between the way the day looked and the way the day felt.

Still, it was a nice walk and I was happy to be with Steven and Tabby. And I guess we’re all getting tired of hearing complaints about the weather (although few of us are going so far as to actually shut up about it) (that’s a whole other blog post: we’re rarely tired of complaining, just of hearing others do so). Well, I’ll stop complaining now, and go back to enjoying my Sunday. I hope you all are doing the same.

The Tabby Dog Blues

Saturday Running Commentary is right out the window. However, I have taken a few lovely walks with my schnoodle, Tabby. I think I can manage a paragraph or two about that.

Full disclosure: I’m typing this into the computer Thursday evening, having made Thursday’s and Friday’s posts, both of which I wrote while I was at work today (yes, boss, while on break). Saturday I will be wine tasting with the family (I have written a few blog posts about my stress getting ready for that).

Mohawk Valley weather was finally good to us this week, with 50 degree weather. Oh what a joy to walk when it’s not so damn cold! The puddles are mostly evaporated. Mud is not too bad. I can avoid it. Tabby chooses not to. I say she is the famous blues singer Muddy Paws. I’ve written a few lyrics for her.

Well I’m a dirty dog
And they call me Muddy Paws.
What do you want from me?
Do I look like Santa Claus?

My name is really Tabby
I got the Tabby dog blues.

I like to take a walk
with Cindy and with Steve.
When they get the leash out
I just can’t wait to leave.

My name is really Tabby
I got the Tabby dog blues.

I suppose she will have some Tabby dog blues when I am not home Friday and Saturday. We can look forward to a joyous reunion on Sunday. When I will make my usual Wrist to Forehead Sunday post.

Where’s H.G. Wells When You Need Him?

Today is the day. No, it’s nothing exciting. It’s more along the lines of a looming deadline. Today is the day I said I would write and type in Friday’s and Saturday’s blog posts so I wouldn’t have to worry about it.

Isn’t this nicely time warpy? If I use this (and it seems that I am), you will be reading it at least a day AFTER today. Yesterday was the day. Oh dear, where’s H.G. Wells when you need him? (Say, that might be a good title.)

Actually, it kind of plays into my hands, because this is likely to be posted on Lame Post Friday. Although with all the time warp stuff going on, it may be better suited to Non-Sequitur Thursday. I didn’t have a Non-Sequitur Thursday this week. I don’t like to use all my slacker categories in the same week (although I suppose it happens).

Actually, I’m a little surprised I did manage two “real” posts this week. I’ve had a trip to the library, two traumatic appointments and the stress of not getting everything done for my fabulous weekend. Not to mention the stress of not having lost that last ten pounds (in fact, gaining five) before seeing my beautiful sisters (I was never the pretty one) and having nothing to wear, as per usual.

Full disclosure: the appointments were only traumatic to me because I am just so susceptible to being traumatized. I don’t expect any sympathy from anybody. And not for nuthin’ but, why does nobody ever believe me when I tell them I am a delicate flower? Oh well, by the time this gets published, I hope to be on to a better place (you knew I meant the weekend, right?).

I Do Love a Library

Tuesday I wrote about the Prom Attire Giveaway at Frankfort Free Library. Today I shall write about the rest of the visit to the library.

I must have looked confused as we walked in the door, because the lady behind the desk asked could she help me.

“Oh no, we’re just here to enjoy the library,” I said. Then I explained that I intended to write a blog post about it and possibly an article to submit to Mohawk Valley Living (incidentally, I’ve been meaning to write a blog post about that magazine and TV show).

After chatting with the lady for a bit, Steven and I browsed the shelves. I picked out one book (conservative for me). I asked if there was an ongoing book sale, as libraries often have. The lady said they didn’t have the space for it.

“Yes, this is the smallest library in the area,” I said.

“Poland is smaller,” she told me.

“I’ll have to check that one out.” Could be a future blog post.

Before we left I wanted to go down into the basement, where they were organizing the donated prom gowns (which I wrote the previous blog post about). We had quite a nice talk with the lady in charge of that, whose name I foolishly did not get. She showed us the Early Literacy Room, where classes are held weekly for young children. It has all the accoutrements of a good kindergarten room (if I remember my kindergarten days correctly) (no, it was NOT in a one-room schoolhouse; I’m not that old. Sheesh!).

“And this becomes a graveyard for our haunted house,” the lady said.

“Ooh, a haunted house,” I said. “Maybe I could volunteer for that.”

“We can always use more actors,” she said.

“I’m very dramatic.” I made a dramatic pose to demonstrate, but I think she believed me to begin with.

The Frankfort Free Library offers a lot to the community, with movie nights twice a week as well as other special programs. Santa Claus visits in December, and the Easter Bunny in the spring. Their April calendar shows Drop-in Craft Night, All Things String and How Many Jelly beans in the Jar? You can visit their website for a list of current events: www.midyorklib.org/frankfort. They also have a Facebook page (they accepted my Friend request).

The library is located at 123 S. Frankfort St., Frankfort, NY. Phone number is 315-894-9611. They are open Monday and Wednesday 2 to 8 p.m., Tuesday and Thursday 11 a.m. to 8 p.m., Friday 3 to 7 p.m. and Saturday 11 a.m. to 2 p.m.

Wine a Little?

Yes, it’s Wuss-out Wednesday. Ooh, wouldn’t that be terrible if that was my whole post? No such luck for those of you who like really, really short blog posts. Not to worry though, this one will not be long.

But it will be about Why I Can’t Write a Post Today.

In short, I am demoralized. I am less demoralized than I was earlier, but not yet moralized enough to write a decent post. Waaait a minute. Moralized is not the word I want here. What I mean is I do not have sufficient morale for the required literary effort. I believe one should avoid moralizing. If it means what I think it does (did anybody just flash on The Princess Bride: you keep using that word. I don’t think it means what you think it means”?) (I may have that quote wrong; sorry, purists).

I am afraid if I go into specifics about why I feel so demoralized, I will be imparting more of my life than it is polite to share (no, it will NOT be TMI, you know I HATE that expression!). And, anyways, who wants to hear somebody whine about their woes? It is Wuss-Out Wednesday, not Whine About Your Woes Wednesday (although I’m sure that’s been done).

Here’s a Freudian slip to leave you with (one of my friend Rachel’s favorite sayings is “Your Freudian slip is showing): when I typed “Whine About Your Woes,” I first made a typo and put “Wine.” And that made me think of my upcoming wine tasting tour. My morale is improving already.

Cinderella Could Have Used This

One thing you can say about the Mohawk Valley: many of the people who live here are generous. I got more proof of that the other night, when Steven and I went to Frankfort Free Library.

I had actually been going to write a whole post about the library (you know how I love libraries), and I don’t rule out doing that at some point. Tonight, however, I want to give a shout-out to their Prom Attire Giveaway.

As Steven and I pulled into the parking lot at 123 S. Frankfort St., Frankfort, NY, we saw a lady pulling several fancy dresses out of her vehicle.

“Something is going on,” I said. With my theatre background, I immediately thought costumes for something.

Steven was more well-informed. “It must be for their prom dress giveaway.”

“Oh, I did hear something about that.” I think I saw a poster asking for donations.

After we were done with our library visit, I suggested we peek downstairs, where a they were busy sorting dresses and getting ready.

“We’re being nosy,” I told the lady in charge. Then I explained that I write a blog about the Mohawk Valley, which seems a better excuse than common or garden nosiness.

Response for the event has been great. Many beautiful dresses have been donated. Businesses have also donated gift certificates for hair, nails, jewelry and more. I remembered a couple of bridesmaids dresses I have that would be good prom attire. If only they were not buried in an unknown location in my attic, I could have added them to the collection.

The giveaway will be held from from 1 to 8 p.m. Friday, April 4, and 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. Saturday, April 5. The student going to the prom must be in attendance and must try the dress on. The dresses are to be given away at no cost.

I felt really good after visiting the library. What a blessing to get a fabulous dress for a special night for free! And what a good way for ladies to pass on lovely dresses they may never wear again. It’s a win/win situation! It almost makes me wish I was still at the age to go to a prom.

Almost.

Done Dithering?

I’m wondering if it would be such a bad thing if this blog turned into All Wine Tasting All the Time. At least for the rest of this week. I think I have set a precedent for such obsession. I’ve had All Boilermaker All The Time, All Harvey All The Time, All DARE 5K All The Time, and my personal favorite, All Dirty Work All The Time (because I like using the expression Dirty Work).

I will just interject here, for the benefit of those just tuning in, that this is in regards to a wine tasting trip to the Finger Lakes I am taking with some of my family this weekend. This led to some dithering on my part (perhaps you read my blog post about it).

So there I was, making lists. What to get done, what to buy at the store, what to pack. And I realized, I’m not stressed over this. I’m excited. It will be FUN!

Of course I don’t rule out feeling some stress before I’m done. After all, I have only four days to get everything done, with work, dog walking, blog writing and a few other appointments and commitments thrown in. And you know how it is when you make a list. You keep adding things because it seems like a good idea, so the list gets to be a little long. Once you have the list written, you feel like you’ve accomplished something, so you take a break. Then you don’t get everything done that’s on your list. Or am I the only one that does that?

Well, as the week progresses, I will strive to find other things to write about. In the meantime, I can cross “Write Monday’s Blog Post” off my list. Hope to see you Tuesday.

A 3-Sentence Post with a Long Introduction

Well, here it is, Wrist to Forehead Sunday, and my wrist is NOT on my forehead. I am actually having a very pleasant day. I am getting a few things done. I am in a cheerful mood. Everything is delightful.

However, this does not mean I can write a decent blog post.

I’m over the “I don’t feel like it hurdle.” Yesterday I COMPLETELY did NOT feel like writing a blog post. I thought about writing a blog post about not writing a blog post (always good for a couple hundred words), then remembered where my notes were on a wine tasting I had recently attended. Damned if I didn’t write a perfectly acceptable (to my standards) post.

And today?

I thought of writing a post about all the stuff I did today instead of writing a post (went to the grocery store, wrote some postcards, walked the dog, cleaned the house) (OK, so I only cleaned PART of my house, don’t judge). Didn’t sound too exciting. At least, it sounded OK when I was narrating in my head as I did these things (a habit I have had since earliest childhood) (ooh, that’s a whole other blog topic). Now, not so much.

What does anybody want of me, anyways?

I actually said I was going to wait till just before bed time and write a three sentence post. Something along the lines of: I don’t WANT to write a post today! And I don’t have to. Happy Sunday, everybody. Ooh, looks like I just did. And I still have a bit of my pleasant Sunday to enjoy.

A Sip for Silly Me

I am so silly. I completely forgot to write about the wine tasting I attended at Vintage Spirits in Herkimer, NY last Friday, March 21. Luckily I still have my notes.

The tasting began at 4 p.m. Since I usually arrive home from work about ten to four, I thought it would be an easy matter to run a couple of errands and arrive at Vintage Spirits at the crack of four. Of course I mistimed myself and got there early, but Bronson was almost ready to go, so I did not have long to wait.

The first thing I tasted was a Chardonnay by CK Mondavi, from California. I don’t always like Chardonnays; I find them too buttery. I tend to like French ones over California. I learned that is because the French Chardonnays are usually aged in stainless steel, while the California ones are aged in oak. There, I got out my one bit of wine knowledge.

Perhaps I should just mention for the benefit of new readers (if any) that I am not exactly a oenophile (in fact, I like to pronounce it oh-nee-oh-file). My highest accolade for a wine is “yummy.” And I hardly ever taste “notes” of anything, which knowledgeable descriptions of wine always include.

But getting back to the CK Mondavi Chardonnay, I liked it. It was crisp. I wrote about it, “This is my favorite so far. Oh wait, it’s the first one I tried.” (See, I even get silly in my notes to myself.)

The other white I tasted was Swedish Hill Doobie Blues White. I have been to the Swedish Hill Winery in the Finger Lakes (I LOVE the Finger Lakes) (in fact, I’ll be going there next week, as I may have mentioned in this blog), so I’ve probably tried it before but did not recall it as one of my favorites. Bronson described it “like a sweet Chardonnay.” I actually liked it. Sometimes a sweet white is nice over ice on a hot summer day.

As I was tasting and chatting with Bronson, other customers came up for a taste. They would usually taste one wine, say thank you and be on their way. I felt a little lushy, being the only one to taste more than one kind. At other tastings, there have been people who tasted all the wines. I guess they were all getting there later.

Moving on to the reds, I tried two from Tuscany: Caparzo Toscana 2011 and Barone Ricasoli “Brolio” Chianti Classico 2011. The Toscana is a blend but with 85% Sangiovese. I pronounced it very nice. The Chianti was the driest Bronson offered. I liked that one, too.

I also tried a Desert Wine Cabernet Sauvignon 2011 from Washington State. Cabernet Sauvignon is one of my favorite flavors (it’s fun to say and fun to drink), so I was pretty sure I’d like it. This one is 4% Cab Franc. It reached my ultimate accolade of yummy. I also tasted notes of pepper. Score! Without even reading it on the sheet Bronson had describing the wines! So I definitely bought a bottle of that.

I also bought a bottle of the CK Mondavi Chardonnay, after trying just another sip of it. And I helped another customer who tasted one wine. She said she almost never bought wine, because she would buy something she didn’t like and it would go to waste. Both Bronson and I encouraged her to attend wine tastings, to find wines she liked.

“And if you don’t like a wine you bought,” I said, “you can always use it to cook with.” A lady at another liquor store told me that once.

“You can do that?”

“Sure, and if you wait too long and it goes to vinegar, you can use it in salad dressing. That doesn’t usually happen to my wines.” In the interests of full disclosure.

It was a fun time. After writing about it, I am more than ever looking forward to my family’s Finger Lakes trip next weekend. Did I say something about dithering over it? Silly me!

Vintage Spirits is located at 246 Mohawk St., Herkimer, NY. Phone number 315-866-6800. They are open Monday through Saturday 10 a.m. to 9 p.m., Sunday 12 to 6 p.m.

One Nickel at a Time

It is Lame Post Friday. Actually it is not a real Friday for me, because I have to work tomorrow. But I must make a ridiculous post, because I didn’t write a thing all day and I want to get this posted quickly so I can relax myself before going to bed early. At least I will try to avoid the topic of Why I Can’t Write a Post.

I took a walk earlier with my beloved schnoodle, Tabby. As well as two poop bags (I like to carry a spare), I carried a grocery sack in case I found any deposit bottles or cans. Earlier this week, I mentioned to a co-worker that I was going to the laundromat. Regular readers may recall that our washer and drier perished in last summer’s flood (I think I mentioned it in a post; too lazy to go back and check).

“I wouldn’t go to the laundromat,” she declared. “I’d be saving my pennies and picking up bottles and cans from the side of the road!”

“These things take time,” I told her. As I walked, I reflected on how much time it would take, if I financed a washer and drier entirely with deposits. Or even if I wanted to buy a candy bar. I’m afraid my little dog would wear out long before I gathered enough bottles and cans. Not to mention my patience.

Ooh, look, I’m over 200 words. I say that’s good. Tomorrow I only work six hours, so I will have plenty of time to come up with something a little more blogworthy. But I hope you are all having a lovely Friday.