Tag Archives: husband Steven

Starting Over on Tired Tuesday?

Have I enough oomph to make at least  Tired Tuesday Post before I retire for the evening?  I hope the answer is yes, but we shall see.  I had a certain amount of oomph earlier, which I used to get a few things done before rehearsal for The Man in the Bowler Hat,  the play I am in at Ilion Little Theatre  (preview of coming attractions).  As I drove home, of course I remembered several things I did not get done, but I can’t do everything, after all.

 

I went for a walk before work this morning.  It was not a very long walk, but I assured myself that was not important.  The important thing was that I walked.  Likewise, my run this afternoon was short.  It seems odd that I can only manage such short bouts of exercise after training for and running the Utica Boilermaker 15K in July, but so it is.  I feel that once again I am starting over.

I ran by this sign on today’s run.

I throw in a picture to pep things up.  Regular readers know how I love to enter where it says not to.  Don’t worry; I never do it when I am driving.

Earlier today I thought of posting as my Facebook status,  “How many times is one allowed to start over? Asking for a friend.”  I just imagined people would respond with encouraging words, but of course you never know.  In the end, I did not take the chance.

I see I have attained 250 words without mentioning that the reason I am so down is that I spent part of rehearsal thinking, “Oh, wait till I tell Steve about that!”  I know this is something I will have to deal with for the rest of my life.  I will, I am sure, learn how to deal with it eventually.  In the meantime, I may just continue to mention it occassionally in a blog post.

 

Merely Monday Memories

Feeling in a sentimental, not to say maudlin mood, I thought to make a Monday Memories Post.  For one reason, a fun picture showed up on my Facebook On This Day.

I am the one in green.

This was Much Ado About Nothing,  presented by LiFT, Little Falls Theatre Company at the Utica Zoo in 2016.  The picture was shared by my late, dearly missed friend Phyllis.  I think I have a really good picture of her somewhere.

Cheers to friendship!

Here we are the following summer at Gerber’s 1933 Tavern in Utica, NY.  I must make my way back there again.

Three fine gentlemen.

Here are my late, beloved husband Steven, Phyllis’ husband Jim, and our bartender Larry.  Fun times!

I was just wearing those pants yesterday.

Here is one more shot of Much Ado at the Zoo, as we called it in the publicity.  I also played Friar Francis but, alas, have no pictures. Or do I?

 

There I am, not front but center!

This one is also courtesy of Phyllis via Facebook.

Just a note regarding my opening paragraph:  regular readers will understand my quandary.  With my great love for alliteration, it was a little difficult for me to say I was not maudlin.  But maudlin is really not a great way to be.  So we’ll just say Monday Memories and leave it at that.

 

Pre-Rehearsal? Post-Rehearsal? It’s a Post!

I just remembered that I was going to do a Pre-Rehearsal Post today.  However, I do not think I can manage to make a blog post and get ready for rehearsal.  How ready do I have to be, you may ask.  Well, I think I should at least wear something other than the old lady cotton shift I put on after my shower.  I don’t know if “shift” is the right word.  It is not quite a dress nor a nightie nor even a robe.  I shall not enlighten you with a selfie.

That paragraph certainly told you a lot about the play I’m in.

Different play, same hammy me.

This picture showed up in my Facebook Memories, and I said, “Hey, why was that never in my blog?”  My late husband, Steven, had shared it, tagging me.  I do not know where he got it.  Anybody who read yesterday’s post may recall that the play shown was The Tempest,  presented by LiFT, Little Falls Theatre Company in the summer of 2017.

That was as far as I got pre-rehearsal.  Before rehearsal actually started, I got a migraine.  My director told me to go home, a direction I gratefully followed.

In future posts I hope to tell more about rehearsals, taking a few pictures with my Tablet (although I fear I will never be in such a dramatic costume as pictured above).  For now, at least I have made a post, and (knock wood) my migraine seems to be in abeyance.

 

Early Tired Tuesday or Late Monstrous Monday?

Is this going to be an entire week of late blog posts?  It is too early to tell, but I do not like the way it is trending.  Of course it is within my power to change the trend, but last night it did not feel that way.  So I started my Tired Tuesday early.  Sue me.

Isn’t he nice?

I put in a monster to cheer things up.  This pleasant fellow is from The Brain That Wouldn’t Die, one of my favorite cheesy horror movies.

Getting back to me (it is all about me, isn’t it?), I have been wanting to tell somebody a kind of a weird thing I have noticed about myself lately.  Everything I do, I keep saying out loud I have done it, so I don’t forget.

It started out innocently enough: when I would cook myself breakfast in the morning, I would say, “Turning off the stove on Monday” (it was especially helpful to say the day, as I have breakfast every morning) (it is the most important meal of the day, so I have heard).  This saved me calling my husband Steve from work and asking if I did, which was good when I went in at five and he went back to bed.

The habit is also helpful with things like car keys or my purse, which I tend to set down in handy places while getting ready to go out the door.  Yes, yes, I know: leave them in the same place all the time.  I’m talking about when you pick up your keys and say, “Oh yeah, I need a blahblah” and have to set your keys down to fetch it.

“I don’t know why she wanted me in this blog post.”

Another monster to interrupt what I fear are too many words.  I’m sure regular readers recognize Nosferatu.

Anyways, I find myself narrating a lot of my actions these days, “Putting on deodorant on Tuesday” (which I am sure my co-workers appreciate), “Putting my socks on the coffee table,” “My keys are on the floor next to my water bottle,” and of course, the very important, “Turning the coffee maker off, the stove was never on, the toaster oven has cooled off.”  Because I can no longer call Steven to make sure I do not burn down the house.

And I guess that last sentence says it all.  Widow brain.  It’s a thing.

 

 

I Rattle, uh I Mean Carry On

Late blog posts continue with my Wuss-out Wednesday Post being pecked in early Thursday morning.   I offer no defense or explanation, and the only thought in my head right now is thank God for coffee!  If it gets rid of my headache, my life will be perfect.

I do like flowers.

I threw in a picture to pep things up.  This is from July 2022.  My yard was no great shakes then, but I had a few blooms.  This year the back yard is rather a disaster and the front yard is only marginally better.  I had such high hopes, but alas did not match actions to dreams.

I haven’t worn that outfit in a while.

Since it is clear that this is going to be one of those posts where I share pictures from my Media Library and rattle on about them, here is one of me at Fratello’s Pizzeria in Frankfort,  NY in July 2021.

I wore that shirt just the other day.

To inject a little silliness, here is my skeleton Bonita with her friend Bonaparte.  My husband, Steve, dressed her in the summer outfit.  He had a flair for such things.

I confess that these days I am coping with a great deal of sadness, with varying degrees of success.  However, I did manage a blog post of over 200 words.  Perhaps I can make Thursday’s blog post on time (although my predictive text thingy does not seem to think it is likely).

 

These Are Not Monstrous Memories

I thought I would feel bad about making a Monstrous Monday Post after talking about monster movies yesterday,  and I do.  How about a Monday Memories Post, and then I’ll feel bad about making a Throwback Thursday Post in a few days.

Great people to hang out with!

This is my late husband, Steve, and our friend Tracy at the Waterfront Grille in Herkimer,NY in July 2017.   Tracy was visiting.  As always, we had a great time.

Hey, that’s my shirt he’s wearing!

And here is Steve in July 2019, toasting me at the Copper Moose Alehouse in Little Falls, which sadly is no longer open.

OK, Steve toasted me a lot.

Here is Steve at Ruggerios in Little Falls, just to include a place that is still open.  Speaking of places that are open in Little Falls, I must make my way to The Renaissance Pub (preview of coming attractions).  They reopened recently and are doing some great things.

I was wearing those shorts just the other day.

Oh dear, this shot is a little blurry.  Since it is Monday Memories (or should that be Memories Monday?), I close with a  picture of the Copper Moose.  I do have good memories of going out with Steve.  It was also fun staying at home with him.

Tune in tomorrow when I hope to share information about an upcoming theatrical endeavor in which I am about to take part.

 

Terrified of Tired Tuesday?

I’m afraid this is another Tired Tuesday Post, but since I did not have a Monstrous Monday this Monday or last, I thought a couple beasts might brighten up the blog.

Eeeee! Call the exterminator!

Many people have a fear or at least a squeamishness regarding bugs.  These are fake, of course.  I believe they were props for Donate to Murder, a mystery of mine which featured the memorable character, Renwick Spaulding, lover of bugs.

A little bigger than a bug.

And here is Bruce, the shark from JAWS, a favorite summer flick of mine.  I have not watched it yet this summer.  It was one my husband Steve and I always watched together, often on the Fourth of July, a date which was featured prominently in the movie.

And speaking of going swimming…

Here is a good one:  The Creature from the Black Lagoon with the lovely Julie Adams.  I understand she was as lovely in character as she was in looks.  That is always nice to hear.

I shall just mention that one reason I am so tired is that two days in a row, I fought the lawn, and the lawn won.  I keep telling myself that the lawn may win the battles but I shall win the war.  I hope to share pictures when I do.

In the meantime, I have gotten over 200 words.  That is sufficient, according to my rules for me by me.  Since I included monsters, perhaps I should add a category of Terror Tuesday.  Hmmm.  It may be a little strong, but at least it is alliterative.  Oh wait! I see I already have a category of Terrifying Tuesday.  Shows how much I pay attention.

 

 

Also, I Made My Blog Post On Time

I had a Slacker Saturday today.  In fact, I almost put off making my Saturday blog post till Sunday.  I may yet.  We shall see.

“Well, you see, sir…”

As I type (peck in one letter at a time with the stylus on my Tablet) this, I am looking at an episode of Columbo.  I have been watching other DVDs than Columbo, but I keep going back to my beloved Peter Falk. I have not been watching DVDs all day.  I read an Agatha Christie book and looked at Facebook.  Mostly I had a headache.  It went away eventually but by then it was too hot and humid for me to feel like doing much of anything.

One positive step I took (so to speak).  I went for my first run since the Boilermaker 15K last Sunday.  It was a mere 20 minutes, but it felt pretty good, even with a headache.  I decided I would not worry how short and slow my runs are (OK, they are ALWAYS pretty slow).  I am not currently training for anything.  I may never train for anything again, but it is best not to make these decisions all at once.

I confess that I have had a bit of a bad week.  I think this is normal.  Grief is not a straight course.  You don’t necessarily feel a little bit better each day with no backsliding.  Some days are going to be harder than others.  I merely mention the phenomenon; I do not mean to complain.

He loved to dance!

I close with a picture of Steve busting a move, just to remember him when he was happiest.  I know I was blessed to have him.

 

Tempest, Jail, and Late Blog Post, Doodah! Doodah!

Yesterday I finished making my Wednesday blog post Thursday morning (I had at least started it Wednesday night) and wondered if anyone would notice if I did not mention it.  Today (Friday) I thought I would mention that I am making Thursday’s blog post late (I did not even start it on the day) and try to pass it off as a Non-Sequitur Thursday Post.  So far so good.

“I don’t always make my blog posts late, but when I do I like to be Shakespearean.”

As I often do, I throw in a picture to pep things up.  This is my friend, Tucker, looking like The Most Interesting Man in the World (are they still running those ads?).  This was before a performance of The Tempest by LiFT, Little Falls Theatre Company.  Now I have a Throwback Thursday Post.  Cool.

Is that mistletoe he’s standing under?

Rather than make it a pure theatre throw back, I add a picture of my late, dearly missed husband Steve posing at Herkimer’s Historic 1834 Jail.  We often walked by Herkimer’s Historic Four Corners.  They say it is haunted, but we never saw a ghost.  That would have been cool.

Who me? Be silly?

I thought I would end with a picture of me.  Here I am about to participate in the Ilion Days Doodah Parade with Ilion Little Theatre.  This year’s Ilion Days begin this weekend, but ILT is not participating in the Doodah Parade.

So this nonsense has me approaching 250 words.  Score!  If only I could think of a catchy headline.

 

Boiling or Boilermaker?

Wuss-out Wednesday follows Tired Tuesday, we all know that.  If you didn’t know, you do now.  I’m going to blame the weather.

I think I am!

I took a walk this morning but did not run after work.  I ran yesterday for three miles, thinking it would be my last long run before the Boilermaker 15K.  I hope to walk every day and have one or two short runs in the next three days.  Only three day?  Yikes!

Now is about the time I ask myself why I signed up for this silly race anyways. I should perhaps mention that this has happened to me every time I have run the Boilermaker (can’t remember how many times that is;  I would have to count my Boilermaker glasses).  This year, of course, everything is different.

It seems I had some good reasons when I signed up.  I do not currently remember them.   I registered pretty much the minute registration opened.  A short time later the palliative care nurse called me and said we had to talk.  I know what palliative care is (my sisters had to look it up).  Thus started a very bad time in my life.

So this year my running the 15K feels all tied up in my grief and depression over my husband’s death.  I don’t know that I think something magical is going to happen as I cross the finish line.  I think mostly I feel grateful that the race gave me motivation to keep running.  Exercise has helped me a lot.

I guess I have not entirely wussed out today, as I see I am over 250 words.  Perhaps tomorrow I will take one of those shorter runs I mentioned and attempt a Running Commentary Post.  It is All Boilermaker All The Time Week after all.