Category Archives: humor

But I’m Not IN the Play

Posted on August 9, 2018 by mohawkvalleygirl

I thought of that title as I realized it would be a good idea to make my blog post NOW, before leaving the house, although I do plan to return.  I am going to attend the first read-through of Shattered Angel, the play being presented by Herkimer County Historical Society in cooperation with Ilion Little Theatre. I have neither a part nor a clearly defined backstage role, but I have proffered my services wherever needed.  Additionally, I want to write blog posts about it.

If anybody noticed me whining about my health yesterday (in addition to whining about a parade costume), they may like to hear that I felt much better today.  I even felt energetic enough to do a load of laundry, print out the character sheets for the murder mystery I’m working on (preview of coming attractions), and go to the read-through (of course, I have not done the last thing yet, but I feel energetic enough for it) (and if I stop feeling so energetic, there are a couple of couches in the lobby of the theatre; I am ready for any eventuality).

We’re all pretty pumped about this read-through, because we finally got a full cast.  It’s TERRIBLE when you don’t have enough actors!  Of course I am flabbergasted that this could ever be the case at all.  I love to be in a play.  I thought lots of people did.  I spent junior high, high school and college auditioning for plays I never got a part in.  I’m still a little miffed about some of them, so let us not dwell on these dreary memories.

I suppose some of you are thinking I should have written my blog post AFTER the read-through, so that I might have had more to say about the play (you know who you are).  Don’t worry!  I’ll write another blog post tomorrow!

 

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Another Parade! What to Wear?

Posted on August 8, 2018 by mohawkvalleygirl

Regular readers may recall that LiFT, Little Falls Theatre Company, is not doing a Shakespeare play this summer.  This has rendered the summer a less busy and a little sad.  This weekend is the Little Falls Canal Celebration,  one of the venues we perform at.  However, LiFT will have a presence at the parade on Friday, Aug. 10.

Last year I did not participate when LiFT marched.  I just felt too tired.  Of course I regretted it, because they had a fun time, and I do love a parade.  So when I received an email saying we were going to participate this year, I jumped at the chance! (Metaphorically speaking, of course.)

But what to wear?  I could NOT wear my wizard costume again!  I wore it for the Doodah Parade in Ilion.  It would be a faux pas to wear it again so soon, even if I switched back to the wizard hat I wore for the March of Dimes in May.

And, yes, I did pretty much have a silly expression on my face most of the time I wore the outfit.

I append a couple of pictures for those of you who missed my wizard-attired exploits (and to pep up the post, like I did yesterday).  The above was a rehearsal of the outfit for March of Dimes March for Babies.  I also made myself a wizard wand with a knitting needle, a few odds and ends, and a hot glue gun.  I can be dangerous with a hot glue gun. I modified the outfit slightly to march in the Ilion Days Doodah Parade.

I was a hit with the crowd, if I do say so.

I wore the witch’s hat, because it has a brim to offer shade from the sun.  I added the sunglasses for the same reason, and the necklace just because I liked it.  My dear friend, Kim, gave me the wooden wand.  I still had my homemade one, so I used both to cast spells on the crowd as I rode in the back of the pick-up truck.

But I need something different for Friday.  Something light, and light colored.  Maybe a set of wings from the dollar store.  Maybe a quick trip to the Thrift Store. What can I come up with? I spent most of the morning at work pondering options and formulating plans, while trying to stay hydrated and not get too far from a fan, because hot and humid seems to be a way of life these days.

Regarding the latter part of that last sentence, let’s just say I was not successful.  I am susceptible (wow! I spelled susceptible right on the first try!) to heat injuries.  I got too light-headed and nauseous (I had to google nauseous) to handle it, despite the perseverance that has seen me through many difficult runs.  I went home, ignobly calling my husband for a ride, because the nurse didn’t want me to drive and neither did I.

So I am really re-thinking this march through the heat in a costume idea.  However, I hate to let my LiFTer friends down, especially my friend Kim.  And I have lost a whole afternoon I could have been working on a costume, because I am still feeling like crap.  In fact, I wasn’t even going to make a blog post today.  I was going to take a blogger’s sick day.  But look at me, I am over 500 words with two pictures.  That’s one thing I did right today.  Let’s see how I do tomorrow, on Wuss-out Wednesday.

 

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Pepping Up the Post on Muddled Monday

Posted on August 7, 2018 by mohawkvalleygirl

How many thought I was going to use the picture of sad Frankenstein’s Monster saying, “No like Monday!”?  I say too soon, but yet I am doing a Muddled Monday post.  I could not write while at work today; it was too hot and and I was too ate up from the weekend (Hey!  It was a fun weekend, alright?).  Right now I am sitting on my couch in front of a fan watching Dateline on OWN, unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) one we have seen several times.  How I love Dateline on a Monday.

Just a little graphic to pep up the post.

Sorry to have three or four foolish posts in a row, but I’m afraid that is what happens when it is beastly hot and I am on overtime at work.

The look on my face when I realize it is Monday.

I throw in Frankenstein’s Monster, because it is also Monstrous Monday.  You see how I cleverly avoided using the “No Like Monday!” picture referenced earlier but still kept in the Monster and my dislike of Monday.  I feel quite horribly cliche disliking Monday.  Everybody dislikes Monday.  When have I ever been mainstream?  How mortifying!

Oh, the horror, the horror.

I add this poster, because I am horrified by my own following of the crowd.  In fact, it has not been that bad of a Monday.  Unfortunately, I’m afraid it has been that bad of a blog post.  As always, I hope my readers will forgive me and tune in tomorrow, even if I only manage a Tired Tuesday post.

 

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Wrist to Sweaty Forehead

Posted on August 6, 2018 by mohawkvalleygirl

Kitty was always my favorite character on “That 70’s Show.”

I did mention yesterday that today would be Wrist to Forehead Sunday, didn’t I?  Well it is, and I don’t have much else to write a blog post about anyways.  For one reason, I’m too hot to think. I am sitting on my couch letting the sweat run down my face, because I let Steven take one of the fans out to the kitchen.  He is doing the dishes and making my lunch for tomorrow, so I think I have the better end of the deal.

There.  I just moved to the floor and rearranged  the other fan so I am getting a little breeze on my back.  I have been suffering a lot from face sweat lately.  Sweat all over, of course, but on my face is where it really seems to get to me.   I keep flashing on certain Facebook memes I saw all winter saying things like, “It’s so cold my face hurts!”  I didn’t care for face-hurting cold, either, but I sure could use a happy medium.

So, yeah, I guess this is going to be a blog post where all I do is whine.  You’ll have that, especially with me involved.  I just have this sneaking feeling that my upcoming week is going to be terrible.  Some will say there is only one person who can change that and her blogging initials are MVG.  I must admit, however grudgingly, that they have a point.  I will also say, in my defense, that I am not the only person on the planet.  I could have the best attitude in the world (which I obviously do not), and somebody could do something to make my life miserable. Please, let’s not argue that they will only make my life miserable if I LET them.  For one reason, if you try to dispute with me in this heat, I will begin to suspect that you are one of those people who are trying to make my life miserable.

Here’s a funny thing:  the act of typing in this silliness has cheered me up.  Monday?  Bring it.  Want to make my life miserable?  I’ll write a blog post about it.

I naturally flashed on this little bit of inspiration.

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Interrupted Scattered Saturday

Posted on August 5, 2018 by mohawkvalleygirl

I’m watching a Dateline on my DVR, but in a rather desultory fashion, because I think Steven might want to watch it with me later, and I thought it would be a good time to make my Scattered Saturday post.  For another reason, I want to stay on the computer in case a couple of friends message me about returning to the Diamond Days festivities downtown.  The vendors are leaving at six, but music continues till midnight.  And I would imagine I could get another Gem Juice at the End Zone Pub and Grub (see yesterday’s post).

That was as much as I had typed in earlier when my friend Wayne messaged me that he was down there already.  OF COURSE we wanted to join him!  We met at the End Zone.  I had another Gem Juice.  We sat and drank and visited.  Eventually we got a table outside.  A long time later our friend Kim joined us.  I only had one Gem Juice, but then I had two gin and tonics.

I am home now.  I am still feeling tipsy.  We had a delightful time in downtown Herkimer.  I am in no condition to make a good blog post about it. I am only happy I can type in this much. Happy Saturday, everyone.  I hope to see you all on Wrist to Forehead Sunday.

 

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Diamond Daze on Lame Post Friday

Posted on August 4, 2018 by mohawkvalleygirl

So Herkimer Diamond Days kicked off this evening.  I noticed folks setting up for a chicken barbecue and food trucks while I was running this afternoon (short, muggy run, not worthy of a Runny Commentary post). I got home and told Steven what I had seen.

“I wanted to get a beer and sit in front of the End Zone Pub,” I told him.

To my surprise, he said, “Let’s do it.”

We did.  Our friend Kim joined us.  What a fun time!

The End Zone’s kitchen was closed, but Kim and I got beers and we sat down at a table on the sidewalk.  Steven checked out that food trucks and one that offered hot dogs (I foolishly did not get its name).  He has been craving a hot dog.  He got a hot dog and french fries.  It looked so good that I went and got a hot dog for myself.  Yes, I ate some of Steven’s fries, don’t judge me! We settled down and watched the crowd.

Steven got a drink after he got his food.  After Kim and I finished our beers, we wanted to try something called Gem Juice.  For one reason, you got to keep the cup.  In fact, the cup was only a plastic one with a beer logo on it.  I was hoping for something about the Diamond Days or at least the End Zone.  However, the drink was damn tasty.  It was gin, run, vodka and clear fruit juice.  They told me the exact proportions, in case I wanted to make it myself at home, but I do not remember what they were.

“I can just add more to taste,” I suggested.  I am more fond of gin than of vodka.  On the other hand, I am not at all sure I will be trying this recipe at home any time soon.

Full disclosure:  the Gem Juice gave me a bit of a buzz.  I don’t drink much of the hard stuff lately, I guess it goes right to my head.  The point is, we had fun.  And it is Lame Post Friday.  I hope your Friday is equally as fun.

 

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Non-Sequitur Steve

Posted on August 3, 2018 by mohawkvalleygirl

It is that moment on a weeknight when you know you need to get to bed (YES, I go to bed EARLY, you would too if you got up at 3 stupid a.m., and if you wouldn’t you ought to), but you want to make your blog post because, once again, you cannot bear for today to be the day you do not post.  Regular readers may like to point out that some days I have not made a post and made two the next day.  However, on those days I have made one of those posts EARLY in the morning.  I will be at work early in the morning tomorrow. I can’t be making a blog post then.

I can feel my brain becoming muddled.  I know,what makes today any different?  Never mind that, I have a blog post to make.  How about a Throw Back Thursday?  I’ve done that before.  A Throwback Non-Sequitur Thursday, then it doesn’t have to make sense. I know, when do I ever?  Just never mind disparaging my brain and blogging abilities, let’s get on with the post.

Talk about your kid in a candy store!

Here is a sweet throwback:  my husband Steven and childhood friend Margaret in Margaret’s So Sweet Candy Cafe in Utica, NY.  What a great place to be! I wish I was there now!

Isn’t he handsome?

I continue with Steven, but now he is at the Ommengang Brewery in Cooperstown, NY.  I do like beer.

Three handsome dudes!

And this is Steven, our friend Jim, and our new best friend bartender Larry at Gerber’s 1933 Tavern in Utica.  There’s a place I need to go again!

And now I am over 250 words, so I call this a respectable blog post.  I might hope for a better blog post tomorrow, but it will be Lame Post Friday.  I hope to see you all then.

 

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Good-Buy to Books

Posted on August 2, 2018 by mohawkvalleygirl

This afternoon instead of having a Mohawk Valley adventure I could blog about, I spent some time routing around in the extremely messy room we call our library looking for books to donate.  As a result, in lieu of my expected (by me anyways) Wuss-out Wednesday post, I will give a brief plug to a community event I hope to go to on Saturday, a book sale hosted by the Herkimer County Historical Society.

The sale will also include history books from the society’s gift shop — I KNOW there are one or two of those I want but have not purchased yet — and post cards — regular readers may recall that I love to send people post cards.  The society has been on Facebook asking for donations.  Of course I love my books.  I like to own books and re-read many of them multiple times.  On the other hand, I have a lot of books.  I seek out book sales, used and new book stores, rummage sales, thrift stores, anywhere you can buy books. And sometimes people give me books they’ve finished with that they think I might like (or that they just want to get rid of).  I LOVE BOOKS, there, I’ve said it.

So I gathered a few books to donate.  Some thrillers, some romance novels, a couple of true crime stories… Steven will bring them to the society tomorrow, I think.  The sale will be Saturday, Aug. 4, from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. at the Eckler Building, 406 N. Main St., Herkimer, NY.

My only worry now is that I will return from the sale with more books than I donated.  These things happen.  In the meantime, I may try to do something about that extremely messy room, because, you know, removing those books to donate did not help much.

 

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It’s Only Tuesday, But I Ran

Posted on August 1, 2018 by mohawkvalleygirl

I thought I should run yesterday in the low humidity, but I felt SO TIRED after work, I thought running Monday in the low humidity would be as onerous as running Tuesday in the high humidity.  The weather report this morning told me the dew point was at “humid” today and would be at “oppressive” tomorrow.  I told everybody at work to enjoy today, tomorrow will be worse.  You see how optimistic I can be.

Be that as it may, I felt after work today that I had to do SOMETHING.   I felt tired and coated with sweat. I felt down.  I felt sad.  I knew sitting on the couch and vegging out in front of Facebook was not the way to go.  I did not want to, but I decided to run.  It might not be a good run.  It might not be a long run.  But I would run.

What can I say?  It was not a good run.  It was not a long run.  I waited in vain for the endorphins to kick in.  Well, you’ll have these runs, especially in the middle of summer (please do NOT take out your calendar and show me precisely where the middle of summer is, I KNOW it is probably not today, stop being so didactic) (you know who you are).  I made up my mind I would continue for at least 20 minutes and I made it for 24.  I walked my full 10 minute cool-down.  We’ll see if it makes me feel better tomorrow.

In the meantime, it is not much of a blog post, is it?  I narrated in my head and tried to notice things as I ran.  I appreciated the grey skies, although I neither expected nor got rain.  The only noteworthy thing I remember was an Amish buggy on Caroline Street.  I said, “A horsey! Hi, horsey!”  The horse nodded his head at me (or perhaps I read into it).

The saddest thing is, I keep thinking, “Well, it is Wuss-out Wednesday,” and have to keep telling myself, “It’s TUESDAY, dammit!  TUESDAY!”  I will get over my disappointment, of course.  Probably tomorrow, when it is Wednesday.  Unless I think it is Thursday.  Damn.

At least I didn’t think it was Friday!

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Even Used Monsters Can Help

Posted on July 31, 2018 by mohawkvalleygirl

I so need a Monstrous Monday today.  I’m having the damnedest time writing anything, I’m feeling down and out of it, a few pictures of monsters and some silly remarks will hook me up.  Only I can’t find any new (to me) monster pics.  I was just on Facebook, looking at all my monster pages — oh, wait, I think I missed a couple.

No, it’s no use.  I’ll have to resort to my Media Library and hope I don’t repeat anything too recently used, but no promises.

You can’t really see the monster for the words. There’s a metaphor for writing in there somewhere.

The Blob (1958), how appropriate, because that is just about what I feel like today.  Just a blob. Not even a capitalized one.  In fact, here’s how blobby I am today: I’m writing in sentence fragments, an affectation I rarely use.

THIS is the picture I was looking for on Severed Head Sunday!

I guess these two fellows are more ghouls than monsters, but Peter Lorre and Vincent Price — there could be no possible objection.

With the obligatory sexy, frightened female.

I have never seen this movie but I must look for it.  How I miss video stores!  Perhaps I could find the DVD on interlibrary loan. I don’t have one of them there streaming services.

I gotta get me a nightgown like that.

I close with some zombies.  When I am done sitting on my couch like the Blob, I will lumber to bed like a zombie.  An old fashioned zombie. I’ve never seen any of the more recent zombie flick with the fast moving flesh eaters.

I was right; the monsters did make me feel better.  Happy Monday, everyone.

 

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