Category Archives: humor

Fake Friday Lame Post

Posted on October 6, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

How about Lame Post Friday on a Wednesday?  For one reason, it is late in the day, I am tired, and it is like a Friday for me because I do not work for the next five days.  Ha ha, that is three reasons.  How lame is that?  I could even say it’s eight reasons, if I count each of the five days I don’t work as a reason (or it could be seven, depending on how you count; I was never good at math).

Traditionally Lame Post Friday is the home of random observations and half-baked philosophy.  I am currently not-so-randomly observing my dog, Spunky, frantically pawing his afghan on the couch.  He comes dangerously close to the edge of the couch.  Then he stops his pawing to look at Steve.  Spunky is happy we are home.  We were out running an errand and grabbing dinner.

Tomorrow we leave for Vermont for a long weekend visiting family.  It should be very beautiful this time of year.  I love Vermont as well as, of course, our family.  And who doesn’t love days off work?  (Oh, I know, there are some who do not, but I am not of their number).  Will I be able to make my blog posts?  Let’s hope so.

And that leads us to some half-baked philosophy (as this is Fake Lame Post Friday).  Should bloggers take vacation?  Since blogging is (for me at least) a fun hobby, wouldn’t taking days off of blogging be NOT a vacation?  Discuss amongst yourselves.  Happy Wednesday AND Friday.

 

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Was I Ready to Run?

Posted on October 5, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

At work this afternoon, I remarked to a friend that I had a choice of what to do.  I had to pick up a prescription at The Medicine Shoppe, which is handily located just outside the rather large parking lot in front of my place of employment.  Unfortunately, I like to park at the opposite end of the parking lot.

“I can walk to the Medicine Shoppe, then back to my car, drive home and say, ‘Now I don’t have to run!’  I can drive to the Medicine Shoppe, drive home and go running.  I can walk to the Medicine Shoppe, back to my car, go home AND run.  Or I can drive to the Medicine Shoppe, drive home and not run anyways.  And after I stop at the Medicine Shoppe, I can go into Ilion Wine and Spirits and get a bottle of wine.”

“You’ll have a headache tomorrow,” she warned.

“Not if I don’t drink the whole bottle,” I argued.

“You’ll drive to the Medicine Shoppe,” she predicted, also pointing out that it was a lovely afternoon for a run.

I did drive to the Medicine Shoppe, parking near Ilion Wine and Spirits.  I do like to support the latter, because they are supporters of Ilion Little Theatre, in addition to being very nice people and carrying an excellent selection of wine.  I chose a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc.

It was a lovely afternoon, bright and sunny.  It was actually a little warmer than I like for running, although I realized that inside a vehicle is not the best place for gauging temperature.  Spunky was ready for a walk as soon as I got home.  I was happy to oblige.  I figured walking around the block would help me decide whether or not to go running.

As we started out, we were in the shade and a breeze blew.  That boded well.  However, I felt very tired.  Maybe a walk around the block would be enough exercise after a ten hour work day spent mostly on my feet. It was warmer in the direct sunlight.  I pictured myself thunking along (thunking is my new favorite word to describe my runs) and pondered how long even a 15-minute run would feel.  I could happily run Wednesday afternoon or Thursday morning.  By the time I got back home, I thought I would let myself off the hook today.

Only I didn’t.  I needed to do some laundry for our upcoming weekend away (have I mentioned that?  Well, Steven, Spunky and I are going away for the weekend), so I thought it would be perfect to put the laundry in the washer, do a 20-minute run with a 10-minute cool-down walk, then put the laundry in the drier before taking my shower.  Or maybe a 15-minute run and I could stretch for an extra long time if I had to wait for the washer to finish.

And look at me, closing in on 500 words and I haven’t even started to talk about the run yet.  Did I mention I was tired?  Well I am, and one reason is that I went for a 23-minute run plus 10-minute cool-down walk, AND I did TWO loads of laundry, one of which is in the drier as I type.  I am rewarding myself with a small glass of Sauvignon Blanc.  And I just remembered something else: today is Tired Tuesday.  You see how well things work out sometimes.

 

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Fuzzy Head, Foolish Post

Posted on October 4, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

Oh crap, look at the time.  I wasn’t going to have any lame posts this week.  I was going to write GOOD stuff for my readers (if any).  I tried to write on breaks at work today but it did not go so well.  I tried again as I sat in the doctor’s waiting room.  It went even worse.  All I could do was sit there and write about how I couldn’t write because my head felt so fuzzy.  Oh, sorry, I really did not mean to bring my health woes into this.  Change the subject.  New paragraph.

It is a three day week for me, because I am taking an extra long weekend. Woohoo!  You realize, of course, that this makes today like a Wednesday.  Wuss-out Wednesday!

What a weird day anyways.  My doctor’s appointment was in New Hartford at 3:45, which meant I left work at three (the usual time) and drove through late afternoon Utica traffic.  Rush hour was still rushing when I drove home, taking a different route from how I usually go.  Of course, Mohawk Valley rush hour is not nearly as grueling as other rush hours.  Really, it was very little problem, except for the fuzzy head thing I alluded to earlier.

Before going home I stopped at the grocery store, where I saw that rainbow peppers were on sale — This Week Only!  I had to buy some.  Then I had to cook them tonight, to make sure they got cooked.  Could I write a cooking post about what I made?  Not tonight.  Fuzzy head, remember?  Wuss-out Wednesday, remember?  Tomorrow I’ll fight the fuzz and try to come up with something better.

 

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A Pause for the Post

Posted on October 3, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

I pause in the midst of my Wrist to Forehead Sunday activities to make a blog post.  Not a good blog post, but, well, make your own snide comments here.

I slept in till after six this morning.  I felt rather pleased about that, although since I had gone to bed after 11:30 — unprecedented debauchery for me (although I did not actually debauch; I just got to bed late) — I can’t say I felt as rested as I would like to feel.  Then again, as the great philosopher Mick Jagger once pointed out, you can’t always get what you want.

After a cup and a half of coffee, I went running. Yay me. It wasn’t a great run, but I did increase my run time by the recommended 10 percent from my most recent longest time.  I went to church with my sister, Cheryl,  and some of her family (including my wonderful great nephew).  Cheryl and her friend Penny were going to a Psychic Fair in Frankfort, but I declined to join them because I had to do laundry, among other things.

Full disclosure:  I only did one load of laundry and now a whole hell of a lot else.  Steven and I (once he got home from work) were watching Halloween movies, but we paused one to take our poocher, Spunky, for a walk.  When we returned, Steven became fired with ambition to put the Halloween lights up on the front porch.  So I’m sitting here looking at the blue screen which results when you pause a movie too long, feeling guilty that I am sitting here pecking away at the laptop keyboard while Steven does something useful.  What’s that all about?

So its another damn dumb post, but what do you want from me on a Sunday?  I’ll see what I can come up with for Monday.  In the meantime, I leave you with a philosophical question:  Should I have gone to the Psychic Fair?  Discuss amongst yourselves.

 

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Another Sinus Headache Saturday

Posted on October 2, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

Well, I thought it was a sinus headache, so I took a decongestant, and it was downhill from there.  This is so embarrassing!  But I can only press on from where I am, so here is my Not So Scattered Saturday post.

In less than two hours I have to be at the 1834 Jail in Herkimer  (uh, I’m in Herkimer now, I live in Herkimer; I just thought I’d specify for the benefit of readers who are unfamiliar with the information) (or maybe I am still punchy from the drugs) to participate in the Haunted Tour of the Historic Four Corners.  Regular readers know I am a great fan of Herkimer’s Historic Four Corners as well as an aficionado of all things haunted, so this event is made to order for me.  Additionally, one of the ghosts who may or may not haunt the general vicinity is Roxalana Druse, who I memorably portrayed in the Ilion Little Theatre production of Roxy in 2015 (perhaps you read some of my blog posts about it) (and you needn’t think I am being an egotist by saying mine was a memorable portrayal; many people remember it, not just me).

Where was I?  Ah yes, trying to make a blog post.  I did run this morning, before taking the decongestant, so I could have done a Running Commentary post.  Also, I walked my dog, Spunky, for longer than the walk I made a post about yesterday, so I suppose I could have ventured to do two Pedestrian Posts in a row.  I have really done nothing else, except for the dishes.  I feel washing the dishes was something of an accomplishment but am disinclined to write a blog post about it.

Right now I am sitting on my couch with my dog snuggled up close. I hate to move and discommode him, although I am getting a hot flash.  Oh, the tribulations of middle age!  No matter.  I see I am over 300 words. Score!  That counts as a blog post in my twisted world.  Perhaps I can write more about the Historic Four Corners tomorrow. In the meantime, Happy Saturday.

 

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Short Walk Off a Lame Post

Posted on October 1, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

Did I use that title before?  If so, sorry to repeat myself.

I am so tired, I think I may cry.  No, that would be too much trouble.  I’ll just whine.  After all, go with your strengths.  Luckily, it is Lame Post Friday.  I’ll come up with a couple of random observations, perhaps spin a bit of half-baked philosophy, and hit publish.  It’s all good.

I actually thought I might do a Pedestrian Post today.  I don’t feel as inclined to do Pedestrian Posts after a walk with Spunky as I did after a walk with Tabby, because Spunky does not want to walk as far.  He often goes down the street and back or at most around the block, and not even around the whole block, but cutting through the parking lot of the apartment building at the end of the street.  I’ve felt a little bad about abandoning a whole category like that, though, especially since I always say Herkimer is such a good village to take a walk in.

So when I walked out the door with my dog this evening, I thought, “Perfect!  Lame Post Friday is solved!”  I thought it would be OK if the walk and the post were both short, being, you know, LPF (that’s the first time I’ve ever called it by its initials; what do you think?).  It was never going to be much of a walk.  I had already put on my comfy clothes for the evening.  You know, the bra off, sweats on portion of the day which I so love.  It was pajama bottoms instead of sweats, but still.

Most days I take Spunky for his walk as soon as I get home from work.  Sometimes he doesn’t seem to want to go, so I put it off.  Today I had put it off long enough to forget about it.  I remembered it as I put the pajama bottoms on.  Well, maybe Steven would take Spunky out when he got home and not be too annoyed at me.  I would throw myself on his mercy.  It had been a long day.  As I came downstairs, Spunky jumped off the couch and ran up to me.  I think he thought I was putting on go for a walk clothes.  I traded my slippers for sneakers and looked for his harness.

One reason I had been just as glad to put off the walk is that it was raining.  It was still raining but not too hard.  I put on my crazy old lady had but did not bother with an umbrella. For one reason, it is awkward to handle leash, umbrella and poop bag at the same time.  I could write a post about a walk in the rain, I thought.  I was immediately fascinated by the grey light.  Of course the sky was completely covered with dark clouds, but it was not gloomy.  I couldn’t tell where the light was coming from, but it looked eerie.  I wondered if the sun was peeking out somewhere and there was a rainbow somewhere, but I did not see one.

Spunky peed a couple times right away but was walking slowly, looking up at me every so often.  We were only a house away from our own driveway when he looked at me and I said, “Do you want to go back home?”  He did.

So you see, I cannot write a whole blog post about that little bitty walk.  Only it seems I did.  Happy Friday, everyone.

 

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On to the Overlook!

Posted on September 30, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

So last night I had to drive the the Overlook Mansion in Little Falls.  I had never been there, but I figured I could find it.  Little Falls isn’t that big, is it?  Silly me.  I forgot how talented I am at getting lost.

Before leaving, I went to the Overlook’s Facebook page and clicked on About. That showed me a map, which I also clicked on.  I typed in a couple of different starting places and studied the lines the map showed me.  I asked Steven to write down “Ann Street to Monroe to Lewis to Douglas.”  55 Douglas is the address.  Steven wrote it on his pad of paper with a picture of Underdog on it.  “There’s no need to fear!  Underdog is here!”  I set out.

Finding Ann Street was easy enough.  I looked for Monroe.  Soon I was running out of Ann.  Ah, Ann ends making a T with Monroe.  Naturally I had not made a note of which direction to turn.  Still, I had a 50/50 chance of being right.  Uh, of being correct.  But I did turn right.  And kept looking for Lewis.  As the road went up, I thought I must have chosen the correct direction.  Would not a place called Overlook be on top of a hill?  Soon I was driving out of town.  Oh dear.

At least it was a scenic road to be lost on.  I enjoyed the beautiful views of farmland and mountains.  You can see for MILES!  I especially enjoyed the blues and greys of the cloudy sky as the sun set and it turned to dusk.  I finally turned around in somebody’s driveway and headed back to Little Falls.

At last I found Lewis. Phew!  And the road started up again.  Silly me, it is a mountainous area.  Almost any direction is bound to go up eventually.  And there was Douglas.  Soon I was driving up the driveway to the Overlook.  It is a narrow road surrounded by trees.  I found it a little spooky, which is a quality I enjoy in a road.  And there was the Overlook.

What a place!  I think I’m in love!  I must, I positively must learn how to add photos.  I’ll write more about the place in future posts. In the meantime, you can go to their website, http://overlookmansion.com/mansion/, or Facebook page.

 

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Post Past Bedtime

Posted on September 29, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

Oh, how did this happen?  Past my bedtime and no blog post written!  Yes, my bedtime is ridiculously early.  I get up at 3 a.m. and I keep hoping to get enough beauty sleep for it to deliver as advertised.

I did work more on the new novel today.  Not a whole lot more, but one has to start somewhere.  I had a more adventurous time after work, which I would like to write about, only, you know how these things are.  You have something great to talk about, so you want the post to be great.  Or at least on the same planet as great.  So I will just briefly tell you my day and leave it at that for now.

I worked 10 hours.  I mention that up front, in hopes it will explain my relative state of punchiness right now.  After work, I had this idea to get a pre-made pizza to put in the oven.  Not a frozen pizza; this is maybe a step above those.  You get these at a big box store I sometimes shop at but do not care to give a shout-out to.  If you feel that makes me a hypocrite, we can discuss that at some future date.  Today, I went to that store and spent about a half hour pushing a cart around buying things besides the pizza I had gone in for.  I believe that sort of thing happens to many of us.  NO, this is not the great thing I’m procrastinating writing about.

The great thing involves the Overlook Mansion, a bed and breakfast in Little Falls, NY.  LiFT, the theatre group that presented Much Ado About Nothing (that I was in; perhaps you read one or two of my blog posts about it), is involved in a Dia de Los Muertes-themed Fall Celebration they are holding this October.  A few of us were meeting there to take a tour of the place and brainstorm ideas.  I will write more about that soon.

In the meantime, you know today is Wuss-out Wednesday.  I hope this post was marginally less wussy than previous Wednesdays. If not, well, there’s always next Wednesday. As always, I hope you’ll stay tuned.

 

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A New Start on Tired Tuesday

Posted on September 28, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

Here I sit, on Tired Tuesday, feeling, you know.  Additionally, I fear I am coming down with the same bug which has ailed my husband for two days.  Or my allergies are acting up again.  Or I am just a common or garden dizzy broad (I KNOW which one you think it is) (you know who you are).  Nevertheless, a blog post must be made.  Because I say it does, dammit!

One of my favorite things to do to procrastinate writing my blog post is to read other blogs, many of which handily pop up as soon as I log in to WordPress.  Today I read “Return of the Modern Philosopher” and was encouraged.  This fellow is doing a lot and still progressing on a screenplay!  Additionally, two of the things he does are write a blog and write for a TV show.  Two WRITING things.

What this means for me is, I have to stop coasting.  I can’t just say, “Well, at least I am making my blog post.  That’s writing”  or  “I worked on a letter to a friend”  or  “wrote in the TV Journal.”  I stand by my rule that All Writing Counts.  However, it is clear that no matter what, I can do MORE writing.

In fact, I did try to start a new novel yesterday.  I wrote a few more notes on it today, before my dizziness drove me away from the notebook.  Well, I won’t do that again.  I will just learn how to write when I don’t feel well.  I suppose a few of you are thinking that it is too bad I did not start by making this a better blog post.  Or is that just my inner critic?  No matter.  This is what I typed, this is what I’m posting.

But after I post this,  I shall seek out a pen and paper (my favored medium of composition) and see what I can do.

 

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Another Thunky Run

Posted on September 27, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

I was less than half a block into tonight’s run when I thought of that title and by the end of the run, I had no reason to change it.  Regular readers may recall that I used the non(according to my computer)word “thunky” to describe my last run, which was on Saturday.  And how’s this for a Freudian typo:  I first put “less than half a blog”?  At least “blog” is recognized as a word.

Once again, I almost talked myself out of running and once again, I got into my running clothes and out the door.  For one reason, I have rehearsal for Splitting Issues (the play Steven and I are in) tomorrow so I may not have time to run.  For another reason, I need some help reaching my weight-loss goals.

Now, I know what is said by weight-loss experts:  eating less is the key to weight-loss.  Moving more has WAY less effect.  Well, if all you look at is the numbers, that is true.  However, I maintain that the number of calories burned while actually exercising are only part of the story.  To encourage myself to keep thunking along, I once again re-iterated what I think of as the exponential effects of exercise (hmmm, maybe that would have been a better title; for one reason, it has the charm of alliteration) .

Exercise kicks up your metabolism.  Depending on the length and intensity of your workout, for a certain amount of time afterwards, you burn more calories than you were burning before you worked out.  I like to make use of this effect by walking a cool-down turn around the block.  Nine or ten more minutes of extra burn!  Additionally, exercise can increase the amount of muscle in your body.  Muscle burns more calories at rest than does fat.  Moreover, muscle looks better.  Even if I have not lost much weight, I can present a more toned appearance.

Even more important are the psychological benefits of exercise.  After even a bad run, I feel good about myself for having done it.  I feel stronger, healthier, and perhaps more inclined to make healthy choices when I eat.  The anti-depressant effects of exercise are well documented.  Less depressed means less likely to self-medicate with fattening food.

Fortified by these encouraging thoughts, I thunked along for 25 minutes.  When I wasn’t giving myself a pep talk, I enjoyed looking at people’s fall and Halloween decorations.  Steven and I must get going on our own decorating.  I think we should go to, for example, Pumpkin Junction in Sauquoit to get some new decorations.  That would make a dandy blog post.

 

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