Category Archives: humor

Sunday Running Commentary? Score!

Posted on October 16, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

For about the final third of my run and my entire cool-down walk, I wanted to throw my arms up in the air and shout, “THIS is why I run!!!”  I felt terrific!  It was WONDERFUL!  I had to remind myself how much it had sucked running up the hill to Herkimer College (formerly known as HCCC).

My running has been pretty sporadic lately.  I ran three days on my long weekend then took four days off.  I ran Friday but not Saturday.  In my defense, oh, never mind a defense, I don’t care if anybody judges me.  Today (Sunday) promised to be warmer.  I thought an early run would be best, because I planned to go to church (I have a prayer shawl to deliver, as regular readers may recall).  Before getting dressed, I came downstairs and checked the temperature on our thermostat.  50 degrees outside.  That works.  My cut-off temperature for running in shorts and short sleeves is 45.

I put on my Army t-shirt with the reflective decal on the back, but I thought my road guard vest would be a good idea, since it was still dark out and I intended to run up the hill to the college.  I was happy to be able to find it.  My sister, Cheryl gave me the vest for my 50th birthday.  She also gave me a little LED light clip. The clip was on the vest.  And it still lit up!  Score!  I would turn on the light when I was actually on the road and keep it off while running on the sidewalk.

It was not until I was running that I thought about how I call it a “road guard vest” in my head but it’s really merely a “reflective vest.”  Road guard vests, to me, are an army thing.  When you run in a formation, there are always a few road guards running in front and behind.  When you get to a crossroad, the road guards run up and make the cars, if any, stop.  Reminiscences about army running and road guard vests kept my mind occupied for the first part of my run, so I didn’t pay too much attention to how my body felt.

That changed when I started up the hill to the college.  I had not run that hill in quite a while, but I ran a couple of pretty good hills in Vermont, so I thought I was up to it.  As I ran, I began to feel not so much.  What the hell, body?  I tried the trick of  looking down at my feet and just shuffling up that hill.  I was momentarily distracted by my shadow.  It looked tall and svelte.  I pretended I really looked like that, but it didn’t make running up the hill any easier.  That hill had not sucked that bad in a long time, I thought.  Then I reminded myself that I can put up with almost any amount of suck for just about as long as I decide to.

At last, at last, I reached the top.  Phew!  I began to run down the back way.  It was blocked with a few orange cones, but I thought that was just for vehicular traffic not pedestrians.  It looked quite dark.  Perhaps it was not the best way to go.  As I got closer to the dark, I saw some light further up ahead.  See, I told myself, it would be fine.  Then I saw some men working.  They wouldn’t mind me.  As I got closer, it seemed they were taking up most of the road.  Maybe they would mind me.  I turned around.  That gave me some more uphill to run, so that was good.  At least, it was good for me.

It was on the way down the hill that I started to get the terrific feeling I mentioned in the first paragraph.  As I approached the bottom of the hill, I noticed something I had forgotten about.  The road seemed to go uphill again.  What was that about?  I didn’t remember going downhill before going up this hill!  And there’s a metaphor for life, I thought.  We don’t always realize when things are easier but we sure as hell notice when they suck!  Anyways, once I got to the newly recognized uphill section, it wasn’t bad at all.  I kept feeling terrific.

I don’t feel too awful bad about this blog post, either, although as usual, I’m remembering a few things I thought or noticed while running that I have not mentioned.  It would make for a much longer blog post, I’m afraid.  Maybe I’ll write a Big Book of Running Commentary someday and include everything.  Or maybe I’ll just keep running and keep quiet.  In any case, I see I have successfully avoided having a Wrist to Forehead Sunday post.  Score!

 

Leave a comment

Posted in humor, personal, running, running commentary and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

I Guess It’s Scattered Saturday After All

Posted on October 16, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

Hey, did anybody notice that yesterday I did NOT make a Friday Lame Post?  That is good news for me, because I am working my way right into a Lame Post Saturday.  I have not done enough to even make it a Scattered Saturday!  And I am leaving in less than an hour for tech rehearsal for Splitting Issues at Ilion Little Theatre (perhaps you read my recent post about the play), so it would behoove me to publish something soon.

I thought I would run this morning.  I ran yesterday and it didn’t go too badly. It didn’t go too well, either, but I don’t ask for miracles.  It was quite cold when we got up at 5:30 (due to Steven’s work schedule; I blessedly had the day off), so I thought a later run might be better for me.  And hanging out with my husband in the morning is definitely a good idea for me.

When Steven left for work, I tried to walk to the post office with Spunky.  I had some post cards to mail, and I thought a Pedestrian Post might be nice.  Spunky was moving slowly.  He pooped right away, then a few feet further down pooped again.  I call him Two-Poop Spunky, although he does not always limit himself to two.  After the second one, he turned around and headed briskly back home.  Spunky does not have much of a fur coat; the groomers keep his short, because he has skin issues.  He was probably cold.  I was.  So much for a walk.

After a while I got in my vehicle and drove to the post office to mail my things.  Then I went to an ATM to replenish my cash.  I had a vague idea of going to a new cafe I had seen, for a blog post and perhaps to write about for Mohawk Valley Living.  Oh, I just couldn’t make myself.  Blame it on the weather.  Blame it on some medication that I will NOT go on about, because I do not care to be tiresome about my health issues (even more tiresome than I normally am, that is).  No matter.  I went home.

I put in a load of laundry and tried to tidy the living room.  I made a little progress, but I also made my dog restless.  Since the temperature had warmed up somewhat, I thought we would try another walk.  We got about a block further before Spunky decided to turn around.  I was just as glad about that, because he was moving so slowly.   Then I was even happier, because Steven was home for lunch.  That snuck up on me!

I confess, have not gotten a whole lot else done.  I got the laundry in the dryer, where it sits.  There, I stopped typing and went and got it.  How’s that for reporting the news as it’s happening?  I worked on my article for Mohawk Valley Living magazine.  That deadline is looming, but I should meet it.  And now I am drinking green tea with lemon and honey (just for another bit of breaking news).

Is it Scattered?  Is it Lame?  I don’t care.  It is a blog post.  I’m hitting Publish.  I hope to see you all on Wrist to Forehead Sunday.

 

Leave a comment

Posted in blogging, humor, personal and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Prayer Shawl and Pork Dinner

Posted on October 15, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

All week as I drove by Trinity Lutheran Church, on the corner of German and Henry streets in Herkimer, NY, I had been noticing a sign for a Roast Pork dinner on Oct. 14 from 4:30 to 6:30.  I did not think I would go, though. Pork isn’t really my favorite, we’ve been eating out too much anyways, Steven probably worked till 6:30 or something stupid… etc. etc.

Then today, as I drove by on my way home, I remembered something: I needed a prayer shawl blessed.  Father Abe, the pastor at the church in Chadwicks that I go to, when I go to church (I CANNOT remember what saint or saints the church is named for; my bad), is having some health problems. I heard about them two Sundays ago, when I went to church.  Father Abe has blessed a couple of prayer shawls for me for other people, so I thought it would be quite appropriate for me to bring one to him.  I did not feel I could ask him to bless his own prayer shawl so was wondering what to do.

I could only hope the pastor would be at the dinner.   I thought I would have the best chance if I showed up early, so shortly after 4:30, I walked to the church, which is very close to where I live. Oh, did it smell good!  I began to re-think my dinner plans.  I walked in and explained to the lady at the table what I wanted.  Another lady who I knew from Coffee with a Cop was standing right there and introduced me to Pastor Ann.  She blessed the shawl with a lovely prayer.

When they asked me was I also going to eat, I said I may return with my husband, if he was into it.  He only worked till 5:30, as it turned out.  He was totally into it.

We had a WONDERFUL dinner!  Roast pork, baked potato, squash, roll, apple sauce and dessert.  YUM!  On the table were little cards that said, “Save the date: next dinner Nov. 11, 2016, Ham and Scalloped Potatoes, Trinity Lutheran Church, 443 Henry St., Herkimer, NY”.  I took one, saying I would write a blog post and mention it.  I will also save the date.

 

3 Comments

Posted in Community Events, humor, personal and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Cooking Without a Vague Idea

Posted on October 14, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

Well, I had thought about doing a cooking post for Non-Sequitur Thursday, but I am not convinced that what I cooked tonight is all that blogworthy.  Then again, I got nuthin’ else.   It’s been a rough week, especially for a short one.  But my purpose here is not to bitch but to blog.  So on with the blog.

I have not been cooking lately, because Steven comes home so much later than I do and I go to bed so early, I usually just eat something when I get home, then he eats something when he gets home, and then I write a run-on sentence about it.  Today I had thought all day about cooking something.  I even had a vague idea of what to cook.  I won’t tell you what it was, though, because I didn’t do it and I might yet one day.  Then I’ll have another blog post.

When I got home, I felt down.  Oops, slipped in a little bitch.  Eventually I got myself to do a couple of things: showered, put in a load of laundry, took the dog for a walk.  I thought it would cheer me up to cook something.  I have long been an advocate of the therapeutic benefits of chopping vegetables.  Accordingly, I looked to see if I had a yellow onion in the refrigerator (I knew I had a red one).  I did have one great big yellow one.  I only cut up about a quarter of it, which I put in my cast iron frying pan with some canola oil.

Next I crushed some garlic and set the timer so it could breathe for 15 minutes.  Regular readers will realize that this is how most of my recipes begin.  Onion and garlic in oil, first letting the garlic breathe.  How dull.  This is why I almost didn’t write a blog post about it.  After the 15 minutes, I put the garlic in the pan with the onion.  I had covered the pan, by the way.

When the onion was pretty much cooked, I added some miniature kielbasas we had leftover from pigs-in-a-blanket Steven had fixed recently.   I found some frozen spinach in the freezer (where else?) and a can of mushroom pieces and stems in the pantry.  Should I add anything else, I asked myself.  A search of the cupboard and refrigerator did not result in any ideas.  After a while, I cooked some twisty macaronis to add to the other mixture.

Steven was pleased to come home and find dinner almost done.  We both thought it tasted pretty good.  At least it was good enough to have seconds and no leftovers.  Was it a good enough blog post?  Only you, dear reader, can be the judge of that.

 

3 Comments

Posted in cooking, humor, Non Sequitur Thursday, personal and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Just a Few Shout-Outs

Posted on October 12, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

So yesterday I thought I was coming down with something and today I am pretty sure I am.  It would not be such a big deal if I could keep from being such a colossal baby about these things.  Or if I could just quietly take a day off from posting.  But, as they say, I gotta be me.  However, instead of whining for 200 or so words about how crappy I feel, how about I give a brief overview of Steven’s and my Monday morning adventures.

We began by fueling up at Crazy Otto’s Empire Diner in Herkimer, NY.  Then we headed for the big city of Utica.  I drove, as I had slightly more of an idea where we were headed.  That is, I had been there.  I had not driven there.  However, after a wrong direction and only one turn around, we got to the So Sweet Candy Cafe on the corner of Columbia and Varick streets. Yay!

After that we had wanted to check out Adirondack Distillery, which is handily located right across the street.  The message on their answering machine said they were open Monday through Friday.  This Monday, they were not.  Rats!  We walked down Varick Street, just because we were there, then back to the car and headed on.  The Other Side Gallery was also closed.  I had not even checked their Facebook page, so I suppose that served me right.

We found Off-Center Records & Collectibles with very little problem.  A parking spot presented a little more problem, but we got one not too far away.  After a fun interlude there, we checked out New York Connection, which I had never heard of but noticed a couple of doors down.  Those are both stores I mean to write more about.

On our way home, we stopped at Juliani’s Produce and Greenhouse in Schuyler.  I got and immediately ate a chocolate half-moon cookie.  We also got fixings for a salad, which I later made (I believe I mentioned it in yesterday’s post).

We enjoyed our little jaunt very much, although I was ready to get home and relax.  I am ready to relax now.  I guess it is Tired Tuesday after all.

 

Leave a comment

Posted in humor, local business, personal, Tired Tuesday and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Monster Movie Monday

Posted on October 11, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

Steven and I took today off too, to recover from our wild Vermont weekend, so today will be kind of a lame weekend sort of post.  We spent the morning having adventures, but that was a long time ago and I’m too tired to write about them.  When we returned home, we decided to watch monster movies, so I’m going to write a little bit about them.

I thought some classic Halloween viewing would be nice, so we put in Frankenstein, the one directed by James Whale in 1931.  Then we quite naturally watched The Bride of Frankenstein, 1935 , also directed be Whale. I wanted to watch another Boris Karloff movie after that, but first I had to fix us something to eat.  Then I had to make a salad and chop some vegetables for my lunch tomorrow, when I go back to work.

It would be nice, I suppose, for me to make some commentary about these movies.  Something intelligent or insightful or at least witty.  Would it be too monstrous to me not to?  I suppose it would.  Steven is searching for another Karloff movie, now that we’re done with dinner.  I think there are a couple in one of our Horror collections.

Full disclosure:  I think I am coming down with something.  Perhaps it is my allergies acting up again.  Perhaps I just partied too heartily in Vermont.  You know how debauched Vermont can be.  And you know what a huge baby I can be when I am not feeling one hundred percent healthy.  Well, we did have a few adventures today in Utica, so perhaps I can write about them in the coming week.  In the meantime, Steven has put in The Terror, which I wrote about in a previous post.  Click on the title if you’d like to read it.  And Happy Monday.

4 Comments

Posted in humor, personal, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Witch to Forehead Sunday

Posted on October 10, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

Nobody should be surprised that this is Wrist to Forehead Sunday.  We are back home from our Vermont adventures, and I am tired.  Could I be getting old?  SAY IT AIN’T SO!!!  Well, of course it is so.  You get old or you die young.  Those are the choices.  Anyways, I got tired when I was younger, too.  The best thing to do is to relax myself today and have some more adventures tomorrow.

I find that some excellent things to do on a gloomy, tired Wrist to Forehead Sunday are read cheap fiction, watch true crime shows and watch movies.  I am indulging in all three. I purchased several Agatha Christie novels at a used book sale in Arlington, VT on Friday.  I read one on Saturday.  I am reading another one today.  While I read and Steven Facebooked (one of my favorite verbs), we looked at a few episodes of Snapped.  Now while I blog (another silly verb), we are watching The Curse of the Blair Witch, the cable documentary that was made to promote The Blair Witch Project, which movie we shall probably watch next.

I particularly wanted to watch these features this weekend, because it is Columbus Day weekend, which I believe is when the movie takes place.  It is definitely October, because there are Halloween decorations up in some of the places they film.  It must be a long weekend, because of the number of nights they camp before they get lost and are staying extra, unintended nights.  Perhaps the dates are actually stated in the movie, and I am quite foolish for feelings so pleased with myself for my deductions (I read a lot of Agatha Christie, but I’m no Miss Marple) (if you do not get that reference, I am sorry for your lack of reading some very enjoyable books) (then again, to each his own, as the old lady aid when she kissed the cow).

Where was I?  Ah yes, that movie about the movie about the Blair Witch.  I know it is not respected by some, but it is one of my favorite Halloween movies.  I enjoy the alternate narrative technique, although it has since been copycatted quite a bit (I’ll be damned, my computer thinks “copycatted” is a word; I thought I just now verbed the noun) (but apparently “verbed” is not a word).  It suits my mood today to watch a foolish movie I have seen many times before.  Maybe tomorrow I can watch something really cheesy to write about.

In the meantime, Happy Sunday, everyone.

 

Leave a comment

Posted in blogging, humor, personal, Wrist to Forehead Sunday and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Runnin’ and Grinnin’

Posted on October 9, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

If anybody was wondering whether or not I have been running during my fabulous five-day weekend, I have. I did not run on Thursday, because we were not yet packed and anxious to get on the road, but Friday I was up and at ’em, as the saying goes.

Well, I wasn’t up very early.  We slept in till after 7 a.m., an almost unheard of occurrence for us.  Although I felt I had over-packed for the weekend, it soon became clear I had not packed enough, because I only had shorts and short sleeves for running in.  No matter, I was determined to run.

I ran a route I have run before when visiting Arlington, VT.  It took me out Ice Pond Road till it ends on Warm Brook Road.  The former was more appropriate.  Ooh, did a hot shower ever feel good afterwards!

We slept in even a little later today (Saturday)  (goodness, is it Saturday?  I get in such a time warp when I’m not at work!) (for anyone who thinks I’m rubbing it in that I’m not at work, don’t hate).  It was slightly warmer out but still under the 45 degrees which is my usual cut off for shorts.  Still, closer to 45 than yesterday.  I set off.

I ran in the same direction as yesterday but did not turn where I had turned.  I turned later on, up Buck Hill Road.  I thought it might be a dead end or it might loop around and come out on the road I was on.  In any case, it went uphill and I wanted to run more hills.  Up, up, up… this was as steep as some of my best hills back in Herkimer.  Was that the end?  Did it end in a person’s driveway?  No, it curved around.  And kept going up!  This was awesome!

The road got a little less road-y and more country-road-y, if you see what I mean.  How long did it go on?  It could go for MILES!  And end up in the middle of  NOWHERE!  The longest I wanted to run was 36 minutes, which increased my time by the recommended 10 percent from what I ran last week (and what I had run on Friday).  I decided I would look at my watch and turn around when it was 18 minutes.

After a while, I could see road to my left through the trees.  That was no doubt the road I would have been on had I not turned onto Buck Hill.  I felt more confident in my original plan to follow the road to  the end.

It came out on the road I had been on but further down than I had hoped. No matter, I told myself.  This was a good run.  It would make a good blog post.  Then I realized I could not remember the name of the road I had turned on.  That would make a GREAT thing to write about!  At last I passed it:  Buck Hill Road.  I could remember that, I thought.  Just think of Buck Owens.  Pickin’ and grinnin’.  Anybody who didn’t get that reference, sorry you’re young and missed Hee Haw.

I ended up running for 37  minutes, picking up the pace at the end in hopes of making it 36.  I even sprinted at the very end, which made for some not very pleasant breathing.  I felt great about having two good runs in two days.  I can only wonder what tomorrow will bring.

 

Leave a comment

Posted in humor, personal, running, running commentary and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

A Little Fuss, A Little Muss, A Lame Blog Post

Posted on October 8, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

Who knew you could sit in a library parking lot and get on their Wi-Fi with no fuss no muss?  I know, everybody but me.  In fact, I think I knew it too, because I often see people sitting outside of Basloe Library in Herkimer, NY on various devices.  So here I am, after some amount of fuss and muss, sitting in the parking lot of Cambridge Public Library, on my laptop, making today’s blog post.  Come to think of it, do I ever do anything without a certain amount of fuss and muss?  As they say, I gotta be me.

It seems I did not get any Likes on my Fake Friday Lame Post, so  I shall feel free to have a Friday Lame Post again today, on, you know, actual Friday.  In an age-old tradition of lame fiction, this blog shall be the tale of how I came to write this blog post.

Steven and I are in Vermont, enjoying a lovely long weekend with family.  We are staying with his sisters, who are not online. However, a very nice niece lives close by, and she is (we’re Facebook friends).  With her permission, we went to her house this morning, while she was at work, for blogging and email checking purposes.  I found where she had nicely left the password to her Wi-Fi.  I opened my laptop and clicked.

And soon realized I did not know what I am doing.  I had the password but I could not get the computer to ask for it.  More computer savvy readers (is anyone on the planet LESS computer savvy than I?) are probably shaking their heads and thinking, “What an idiot!  All she had to do was…”  I don’t think that is a very nice thing to say, however accurate it may be.

Moving on to Plan B, Steven and I made our way to the Arlington Public Library.  I knew libraries had Wi-Fi, and even if they don’t, they have computers you can happily get on.  That might be a better thing to do anyways, I thought.  It might have been, too, if the library had been open.  Rats!  You see, I did not know then what I know now, or I forgot that I knew then what I remember that I know now.

In any case, Steven and I drove on to Cambridge, NY to do some touristy-type shopping we had planned to do in any case.  As we made a purchase at Cambridge Food Co-op, I asked the lady if she knew of any place that offered free Wi-Fi.  She said the library but thought it did not open till six — even later than the Arlington library!  However, she said we could park in the parking lot and use their Wi-Fi.  She even told us the best place to park in order to do so.

And that is what we are doing.  And this is my Friday Lame Post about it.  At least I know where I can get Wi-Fi to post on Saturday.

 

Leave a comment

Posted in blogging, humor, Lame Post Friday, personal and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Yummy Start to the “Weekend”

Posted on October 6, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

It is prior to 6:30 a.m, which may be the earliest I have ever posted.  I find that interesting.  My plan is to compose a quick shout-out to a local business we were at last night, then pack for our fabulous weekend away.

You know, I know news format, and that is a lousy lead.  Then again, this is not a newspaper, it is a silly blog (emphasis on the “silly” I’m afraid).  No matter.  I’m not editing; I’m posting on the fly, so here goes.

Last night I knew the sensible thing to do would be to start cooking dinner before Steven got home, frugally dine at home and get all our crap done for an un-frantic morning of departure.  Well, sometimes we do not do the sensible thing, do we?  Hence, we went to dinner at Sorrento’s Pizzia in Ilion, NY.  Our original plan had been to go to Froggy’s Take-out, also in Ilion, and, you know, take out.  That way we could potentially get some stuff done at home after we ate.  Additionally, Froggy’s is closing sometime soon for good, so we wanted to have a farewell meal from the place.

Unfortunately, by the time we got to Ilion, Froggy’s was closed for the night.  Sorrento’s is right down the street from there.  We love Sorrento’s!  And by now we were far too hungry to go home and cook.  There were plenty of spaces in the parking lot.  This would be great.  As we were entering, some ladies were leaving.  One said, “They don’t have any more food; we ate it all.”  I was understandably concerned but told Steven to hold the door open for the ladies anyways.  We were happy to learn the lady had exaggerated.

I got an appetizer of Bruschetta.  Yum!  Steven got a BLT.  The menu said it was on white bread, but when he asked if something else was available, the waitress offered marble rye. Again, Yum!  I almost changed my order to that.  We both had a glass of Pinot Grigio.  After all, it was a Friday for us.

We were quite delighted with our meal.  I made a fast blog post when we got home (an extremely lame one, by the way, but you’ll have that) but did not get a whole lot else done. Still, it made an excellent start to our five day weekend.

Sorrento’s Pizza is located at 86 Central Ave., Ilion, NY, phone number 315-894-9991.  Froggy’s Take-Out is at 4 W. Clark St., 315-894-1400.  You can Like them both on Facebook.

2 Comments

Posted in humor, local business, personal, Restaurants, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.
← Older Posts
Newer Posts →